The Tainted World
by Sunset's Crying
Summary: Trapped by a childhood debt, Miku, is forced to work as an assassin in order to pay off her dues. It is a debt she will never be able to break free of and she has long accepted that fact. That is, until she meets a golden haired stranger who will change everything, whether she wants him to or not. The question is: will things change for the better or for the worse?
1. Prologue: The Sleeping Girl

HELLOOOO everyone! I gots a new Lenku piece! So this time, I was watching/listening to the song Bad Apple. And as I was watching the whole shadow play thing, I got really inspired and this entire plot line came to me. Though to be truthful, I have NOOOOOOO idea how I even came up with this plot line by just watching the music video. _The world may never know..._

Well, yeah. This is the prologue, so I'm warning you all now: it's going to be shorter and **DIFFERENT **(plot-wise) than the rest of the chapters. It doesn't correspond with the summary but the rest of the chapters WILL. But don't worry dearies. It'll all make sense eventually~~~~~

That's that I guess. Enjoy my dears. And as per usual, reviews, suggestions, comments, ect are always appreciated!

Enjoy~~~~

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Vocaloid in any way, shape of form.

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Franklin Lakes, USA

* * *

From the doorway of the classroom, Luka calls out to me. "Hey Miku! Do you want to do Karaoke with me, Rin and Gumi?"

Sitting in my assigned seat, I smile and I shake my head. I love karaoke, especially with those three but….., "Sorry Luka. Not today. Len said that he would take out on a date today…."

Luka giggles. "Ah. That's right. Franklin High's new couple has yet to go on a date, even though it's already been a week…."

Out of embarrassment, my entire face flames up in red. I don't see it but I can feel it, which is bad enough…"OH! Shut up Luka! At least we're going on one and that's all that matters….."

Luka smiles. "Don't worry, darling. I know. I'm just having a bit of fun with you, that's all….But call me later and tell me how it goes, ok?"

Silently, I nod my head. Even if she didn't offer, I would have called Luka anyways. After all, that's what best friends are for right?

With a gentle wave, Luka walks out but not before shooting me a devious wink.

Settling down in my seat, I sigh and stare at the clock. Now, all that's left to do is wait for Len to show up….

Five minutes pass and still no Len. Oh….He's really gonna get it for making me wait this long….and I don't even know where he is right now…..

Another sigh escapes my lips. Might as well to a short nap to bide the time…..

And as soon as the thought leaves my lips, my eyes droop shut and I'm out like a light….


	2. A NeverEnding Cycle

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Vocaloid in any way, shape of form.

OH! And as a heads up, a few of the words are made up...so don't bother googling them...^^

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Admodia, The Eastern Republic of New Ethatrias

* * *

Poised on the roof of an old church, I wait for my _client_ to pass by. It's cold out and it's not helping that I'm wearing a light jacket. According to the weather reports, it's 20 degrees routhers out. It's times like these that remind me that I absolutely hate the Dormant season. The cold air. The numbing wind. All the snow and the possibilities to get sick. I **despise** it.

I can see my breath in the air and my hair is starting to escape from its braid. Just how much longer do I have to wait anyways?

I start to think back on my client's characteristics. Male. 40 years of age. Five foot eight. Weighs 150 to 170 amthers. Black thinning hair. Ah... There he is. About time…..

Oh…he…he…has a family. Next to him is a wife that's a head shorter than him. From this distance, she looks young and pretty, as expected of a politician's wife. And between them is…a boy. A little boy, aged no more than five. Is he theirs? Probably.

With expert ease, I adjust and reposition my sniper gun. With my finger on the trigger, I wait for my _client_ to step into view….Just a few steps away...

Their child swings in between them, feet dangling above the ground. There's a look of pure happiness on his face….

An old memory comes to the surface.

* * *

_"Mama! Papa! Higher! Higher! I want to go higher. I want to touch the sky!" _

_A gentle giggle tinkles from my left. It's Mama. "Very well, my dear. Ready, honey?"_

_In unison, mama's gentle voice and papa's deep one chants, "Ready? One….Two….THREE!" My feet leave the ground. I am airborne. I –_

* * *

NO.

Such thoughts are now unnecessary. A tiny foot swings into view. I refocus my eyes. My fingers twitch with an odd mixture of anticipation and hesitation. I wait a second too long. Quickly, before it's too late, I adjust my aim and complete what I must do.

Like usual, I can hear it, the sound of a single bullet against a human's skull. It makes a resounding crack that echoes into the street.

I start to move. Getting sighted is not part of the plan. It never is.

The clients hits the ground with a thud. My job is done. There is nothing left for me to do but to get the hell out of here.

Quietly, without a sound, I take apart my gun and slip the pieces into the bag nearby. And as I do, the wail of a widow rings. I must move faster. People will hear her and start flooding out onto the streets. I must reduce the risks by all costs.

And as I prepare to leap off the roof, I hear it. The sorrowful screams of a child. Under the noises of its mother. Under the bustle of the people crowding the streets. It rings, clearly, straight into my ears. It's an arrow to my heart. For a second, despite all of my training, I falter. Children have always been my weakness. They remind me too much of…NO.

Once again, such thoughts are unnecessary. I sigh. Children always make things more difficult than they need to be.

With practiced ease, I jump off the roof and disappear into the night.

* * *

The light shines through the dingy window in my small hole of an apartment. I groan and slip back under the covers, hoping to find relief in stolen moments of extra sleep.

...I can't. It remains elusive, always slipping past my fingertips, just like everything else...

And so, to my disappointment, it starts again.

As I lay back in my bed, I stare at the ceiling and wish for a better one. A prettier one. One that is smooth and even. One without holes and water stains. Gilded borders maybe. A beautiful mural if I'm up to it.

But a wish is only a wish. And sadly, wishes do not make up reality. It doesn't matter how much I wish and yearn. Like the ceiling above my head, some things will just never change.

Tomorrow, when I wake up, there it will be again. My ugly and uneven ceiling, full of holes and water stains. It's a cycle that will just never end….

But enough of that….instead, I think back to my meeting with Sir last night.

* * *

_"Sir, tonight's job has been successful." Sir continues to look through his papers, not even bothering to look up at me._

_Calmly, he asks, "Did anyone spot you?"_

_"No. No one spotted me at all."_

_Still engrossed in his papers, Sir doesn't bother to look up at me. The most he does is nod his head in approval._

_"Very good Miku. That's my girl." He throws a small pile of money in my direction. Used to this type of interaction, I easily catch it without thinking. I weigh the bundle of bills in my hand. Once again, it's barely enough to pay for rent, food, clothes and ammunition and other daily fees. But that's nothing new. With a wave of his hands, he dismisses me. "Alright. You can go now. I'll call you for the next client."_

_My first instinct is to leave as quickly as possible. Being near Sir always gives me a disgusting feeling. But I stay strong and stay welded to my spot. Nervously, I ask, "Um….Sir?"_

_Exasperated, he finally looks up at me. There is a hideous scar that crawls down his face. Even now, it scares me. I advert my eyes from it. "If I may ask, how much more do I owe until my debt is cleared?"_

_It's silent for a long time. The seconds tick by tantalizingly slow. And Sir just stares at me with a face that's wiped clear of all emotion. Then, he speaks._

_"Ah, Miku….Miku, Miku, Miku. Just how much do you think you owe me? It's not a small amount, let me tell you that much. Ever since Gakupo died, I took you in. I clothed you, I fed you and I continued to train you until you were old enough to survive on your own. Surely, you don't think I did all of that for free? Let me tell you something girlie. Nothing in this life is free. NOTHING. It's best that you remember that as soon as possible._

_So just it through your thick head already._

_You are MINE until I say you aren't. It's as simple as that, Miku. It's as simple of that._

_Now come now. Shoo. I have work to do…"_

_Dejected, I quickly head towards the door. But before I leave, he reminds me. "And don't forget. I always charge interest!" He laughs, as if it was a joke. _

_But we both know it isn't..._

* * *

Yes. Just like the ceiling never changes, so will my life. I can't break free. Therefore, it will start again.


	3. The Market

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Vocaloid in any way, shape of form.

Hello again! Just so we're all clear, for the time being, this story will continue to take place in Admodia, The Eastern Republic of New Ethatrias. If there's any confusion, just PM me. And now, here is chapter three! ^^

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To my discomfort, my stomach growls loudly. Running a hand through my face, I sigh. Time to start another day….

Outside, the sun shines brightly and without meaning to, I wince. A sigh escapes my lips. I shouldn't even be surprised anymore. By this point in time, I know that a person like I is unsuited to be in the light. But unfortunately, not all tasks can be completed in the dark…

I step out the door and lock it behind me. Today, I am wearing a simple dress with a plain brown heavy cloak on top. From early on, I learned that the simpler I dressed made me less likely to be noticed by anyone else. A pair of plain black glasses rests on my nose. I don't need them but it seems that they distract people from looking into my teal colored eyes. And like I do every day, I put my long teal hair into a pair of twintails, even though I know I shouldn't. But even now, I just can't resist.

In this country, teal eyes and hair is rare. It is the color of a foreigner. And in this country, foreigners makes up the smallest percentage of the population. A sensible decision would have been to dye my hair a different color or to cut it short. Even I know that it's simply foolish to let it grow so long and to wear it in such a flashy matter. But like I said, I just can't resist. My hair color and length are the two things I refuse to give up. It's the last connection I have to my parents and Gakupo….

Uggghhhh. Again with these thoughts….I wonder how long it will be until I can finally forget and let go of my past…..everything would be so much easier if I did….

A bird caws directly above me, causing me to look up. The sight reminds me of why I am even outside in the first place. Shaking my head, I set out to the marketplace.

As per usual, the marketplace is overcrowded and full of noise. From every side, there are vendors, shouting out their daily sales. I'm being pushed about from all sides and kids run about, squeezing in through every gap they can find.

Fighting my way through the crowd, I finally make it to my favorite breakfast stall. It's not very crowded, which is just how I like it. On some days, I feel bad because the food sold here is absolutely phenomenal. But then again, I don't think I like the idea of sharing my favorite food with the rest of the world.

Approaching the counter, I greet the tall man who owns the stall. He has alluring blue hair and eyes and a blue scarf of that of the exact color of wrapped around his neck. Shyly, I smile and speak up. "Good morning Kaito."

Kaito focuses his eyes on me and shoots me a smile. "Why if it isn't my mystery girl. Tell me….Will I have the honor of learning your name today?"

Like I've done ever since I've met him, I shake my head. "Sorry Kaito. Not today."

Today, he sighs dramatically before finally giving in and winking at me. "Alright then. But I'm warning you now, I** WILL** find out your name eventually, whether you tell me or not…..now tell me….Do you want your usual?"

Nodding my head, I answer, "Yes please."

And as Kaito heads to the back to grab my food, I sigh. Sometimes, I really do wish I could tell him my name…..but it's already bad enough that he's familiar with me. To let him know more about would only put both him and I in danger….

In moments, he returns with a steaming sandwich. Just the sight of the sandwich makes my mouth water and the smell…..oh, that just delivers the final blow.

Kaito just takes one look at me and laughs. "Well, isn't someone hungry today?"

At those words, I can feel a light blush spreading to my cheeks. Before he can tease me more, I quickly snatch the sandwich out of his hands and exchange it with the appropriate amount of coins. As I turn to slip away into the crowd, he waves, with a huge smile on his face. And before I regret it, I wave back.

Eating my sandwich, I continue to shop for my daily necessities. Despite the hustle and bustle, it's a pleasant day with a warm sun shining down. And just as I'm about to head back to my apartment, I heard a lady call out: "Leeks! Leeks on sale! Three for Ten Ethas! Three for Ten!"

Without meaning to, I abruptly stop. Even though I know I shouldn't, I consider the offer. Leeks are not naturally grown in this country. They have to be imported in. And it certainly has been a long time since I had a leek….

* * *

_"Mama! Mama! Look! Look! There's leeks in this country too! Can we buy some? Please please please oh pleeeeeaaaaasssseeee?"_

_Mama raises an eyebrow at me. "You know Miku. Most children ask for candy or toys. I think you're definitely the first one to beg for a leek…."_

_Grabbing onto Mama's hand's tightly, I beg. "Oh Mamaaaaaa, pleeeeaaaasssseee? We haven't had leeks in foooorrrrreeeevvvveeeeerrrr. I promise I'll be good….Really! I do!"_

_From behind me, Papa's laugh rumbles. "Come on Prima. Surely, we can afford a leek or two….."_

_Mama sighs behind me. "Mikuo, we barely have enough money to pay for tonight's inn, let alone - "_

_Papa's carefree laugh rings in the air. "Ah, don't worry. We'll make do. Plus, Miku's been such a good girl lately, haven't you Miku?"_

_My head bobbles up and down and with a smile, Papa's large hands grab my small ones. Together, we walk over to the leek stand….._

* * *

And before I know it, I'm in front of the leek stall. Scowling in disgust, I quickly turn around and walk away. How pathetic could I be, to be so easily influenced by a memory like that?

It's a weakness like will surely kill me one of these days, one way or another...

In the distance, my ears perk up to the sound of yelling and scuffling. Noises like that can only mean one thing around here.

**"THEIF!"**

Quickly, I move to the side, hoping not to get involved. But almost immediately, a body smacks into me and sends me and my goods flying.

A grunt escapes my lips as the ground roughly greets me. I groan…in the distance, I hear the distinct crunch of my glasses being crushed underfoot. Not only that but more likely than anything, the things that I just bought are now long gone in the stream of people passing by….

What a terrible end to such a pleasant morning.

Furious, I turn around to face the body that crashed into me. Angry words pour out of my lips. "WATCH YOU'RE GOING, YA LITTLE SHIT! NOW MY GLASSES AND EVERYTHING I BOUGHT IS LOST, ALL THANKS TO YOU!"

And then, the hood covering the stranger's head slips. At the sight, the furious words within me die on my lips. The first thing I see are a pair of dazzling orbs, bright like sapphires. They remind me of a beautiful pair of earrings a past client of mine wore. And just like then, I wanted to steal the beautiful blue and keep it for my own….

Those beautiful eyes meet mine and a voice speaks. "Oh! Jeez! I'm Sorry…..I-I didn't mean…"

Behind us, an angry voice calls out, "STOP THAT THEIF!"

The stranger's eyes light up in fear. And before I can think twice, I grab his hand, dragging him up with me and running away as fast as I can.


	4. Two Worlds?

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Vocaloid in any way, shape of form.

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Hand in hand, we run. With my free hand, I tug the hood of my cloak up, hiding my hair from sight. Behind me, the stranger does the same.

Our pursuer is hot on our trail and as I desperately shove past people, I wonder why I'm even doing this. I'm helping some stranger that I don't even **know**. I owe nothing to this stranger and this stranger owes nothing to me. Not only that but said stranger is a _thief_, and a bad one at that too. If I get caught, I could easily get punished for who knows how long and everyone knows that you can't pay debts while in jail...

And yet, despite knowing all of this, I grabbed onto his hand anyways. I blame it on his eyes. Dazzling eyes like those should be absolutely illegal….

At an alley, I make a sharp left, hoping to lose our pursuer. But as I look for where to run next, I realize that I'm….I'm _lost_. I skid to a stop, the stranger bumping into me from behind. Nervously, he asks, "Hey…uh….Is everything alright?"

No. Everything is **not** alright. In technicality, I know this city like the back of my hand….but only in the dark. The night is my domain and it's in the dark and silent world that I move most comfortably in. Here, in the light, with foreign shadows and noises, I am absolutely lost. This is not my world. My world could never be this beautiful...

Panic builds and rises in my chest. What should I do? Where I should I go? A thousand questions invade my mind, muddling everything into mush.

And then, from the depths of my memories, I remember something that Gakupo told me long ago….

* * *

_"Gakupo….I don't like it here….it's different from what I'm used to…..everything looks so different…it's scary."_

_Smiling gently, Gakupo looks down at me and says, "Then the answer is simple little one." _

_His large hands cover my small face, blocking up all of the light. They are different than Papa's hands, the callouses are all in different places. But I like it that way. They make me feel safe. With Gakupo around, nothing can hurt me. His long purple hair tickles my face. _

_In a soothing voice, he says, "Remember: if you're ever lost in a world that isn't yours, than all you have to do is find the similarities. And when you do that, you'll be able to easily see that's what new and foreign isn't so scary after all…."_

_His hands lift up, revealing the bright blue sky. "After that, it's just a matter of learning it so well that it does become yours..."_

_I turn around and look at him skeptically. "What if I still manage to get lost? What if I can't make this world mine in time?"_

_An amused twinkle shines in his violet eyes. "Then in that case, all you need to do is close and eyes and trust yourself. You're a lot for skilled than you think..."_

* * *

My eyes sway shut. The pursuer's voice is getting closer but I'm not worried. Not anymore. This world is no longer foreign. Making sure that the stranger's hand is grasped tightly within mine, I run, escaping into my artificial darkness.

I start to slow down when I can no longer hear the footsteps of the pursuer resonating within the ground. But I don't stop until I feel the hard stone transform into the grass that is so familiar to me. I continue to walk forward until I find the large Sky Tree that I'm looking for. Soon enough, the rough bark greets my fingertips and a smile hits my lips. Turning around, I slide against the tree until I finally reach the ground. I heard a graceless thump land beside me. That's right. I'm still holding onto a stranger's hand and it seems that he's breathing quite heavily. Labored puffs push past his lips, filling the empty air.

Slowly, I open my eyes and a gasp escapes my lips. The view is absolutely breath taking. What was always hidden in the dark ink of night was a beautiful view of the entire city, spanning as far as my eyes could see. If only my world was the one in the light….

After a while, I turn my head to take a good look at the stranger next to me. Now, without the fear of being caught and the bustle of people, I see what I should have expected. The stranger is absolutely gorgeous. He may be a thief, but he's a beautiful thief indeed...

It's more than just his sapphire eyes. It's his golden hair that shines in the sunlight. It's the soft curve of his lips. It's his lean and muscular body with long legs that reach past my own. But more that anything, it's shockingly clear who or what this boy truly is. It doesn't matter that he's wearing the clothes of the commoner. It doesn't matter that he has a pair of sticky fingers. This boy is the son of a wealthy politician, through and through. This is a boy that I should have never met...

With his free hand, he passes it through his hair, ruffling it in a way that looks simply delicious. Whether it is on purpose or not, every movement the stranger makes is purely sensual, made to attract and allure. This is a boy that without a doubt had captured millions of hearts with just a single glance.

Finally, he looked at me. Smiling softly, he spoke with a voice that sent tingles through my skin. "You know, for such a small thing, you're unbelievably quick and agile. If it wasn't for my own personal experience, I would have never been able to keep up….."

At the tone of his voice, I remember to harden my heart and let go at his hand. A politician's son doubling as a thief. I cannot fall for this boy - or any boy for that matter. Not now. Not ever.

The boy looks longingly at his now empty hand. Long minutes pass. I don't know what's going on. I shouldn't be doing this. I shouldn't be calmly sitting next to a boy that I might have to kill in the future. I should have never helped him. He has 'trouble' written all over him...

But curiosity takes over logic and my smile slips into a smirk. I hear my self ask, "So tell me, what's a rich little boy like yourself doing stealing from commonpeople? What? Does your daddy not give you enough to buy your luxury toys?"

...It's too late to take my words back. The damage is already done. The only thing I can do now is continue this rouse and walk away as soon as possible...

A look of shock passes his face and he quickly adverts his eyes. In a firm voice, he asks "What makes you say such a thing?"

Without meaning to, I let out a short laugh. Confident words flow pass my lips. "You need to be more specific. Are you referring to the thief part of the or the rich little boy part?"

His eyes still refuse to meet mine. "You know what I mean."

I let the seconds tick by in suspense before finally answering. "Well for starters, you did cause all that commotion back there and we did spend a long time running away...So obviously, you must be a thief...

But that's not the answer you wanted, is it?"

With silent agility, I move so that he sees only me. Our knees touch and our breaths intermingle. Teal meets sapphire and neither dare to back down. "Stranger, you're the son of a wealthy politician through and through. You may be wearing the clothes of a commoner but that definitely doesn't make you one…."

My hands reach out and ruffle his golden hair. Despite the situation, a small gasp escapes my lips. If my hands could have cried, they would have. Running the fine strands through my fingertips, I discover that his hair is so unbelievably soft and silky that it hurts. My voice speaks again. "For starters, no commoner has hair this bright, soft and silky. Even the most expensive soaps offered in the market place could never accomplish a wonder such as this…"

Foolishly, unable to resist, I continue down, running a single hand down his cheek. My fingertips gently kiss his skin, nails trailing down ever so slightly. "Your face too. It's smooth and even to the touch. This is a face that receives a high degree of care, something that a commoner would never bother to do."

Finally, my hand lands in his empty hand. The very hand I let go of moments ago. The very first clue. I grasp it tightly. "But these hands of yours make it all the most obvious." I hold his hand up so that it is hovering between us. His eyes stay poised on mine. "These are the hands of a boy that never worked a day in his life…..yet, for some reason...you still chose to play thief...how interesting indeed..."

But as my hands continue grasp and feel his, it's clear that something isn't right with the situation. There are scrapes on his knuckles. There is dirt starting to build up. His nails are uneven and a bit ragged. Are things not like how they seem after all? Could I be wrong?

But then the stranger's mouth opens, probably to defend what little honor he has. But before he can say a word, I quickly interrupt him. "Yes. Yes. I know. You work out and all that. I can see that, don't you worry. Your nails and the scrapes on your knuckles definitely show that...But that still doesn't change the fact that your hands are unbelievably beautiful." I pause and I stare at them. How I wish those hands could be my own... "These could never be the hands of a commoner."

I shoot him a wink. This must end. "So do yourself a favor and go back home. Quit this odd little hobby of yours while you still can... Trust me when I say that it's just not worth it. Daddy might be able to save you from jail but there are some things in life that even money and power can't fix."

I look to the sky. It's starting to get a bit late and this stranger is probably already too familiar with my face. Anymore interaction and things could get dangerous….

I quickly get up, letting go of his hand once again and tossing him the remaining amount of my money. It's the most foolish thing I could do out of everything I just did but somehow….at this very moment…..I just don't care. I can go hungry for a night...

But before I can walk away, his hand quickly whips out and snatches mine out of the air. With hard eyes and a firm voice, he says "You're wrong. I'm **not** a politician's son, well at least, not anymore..."

Curiosity burns within me and threatens to take over again but this time, my logic stays in control. I must not let this troublesome stranger captivate me any further...

Faking nonchalance, I say, "Well, rich boy or not, this is where we part ways." I shoot him a smile full of lies. But even I know that it's laced with undeniable desire. A "happy" voice exclaims "Bye bye now!"

And I tried to continue walking without looking back. I really did. But then he called out. "W-WAIT!"

I stood still for a moment. Everything is wrong. It is all wrong wrong wrong. I should keep walking. I should leave this rich kid or thief or whatever he is behind already. I should abandon all of this before it's too late.

But somehow, it is already out of my control….

Before I know it, I am facing him with a hand on my hip. "What?"

Scratching his head, he say "W-Well, you see..."

A groan pushes past my lips. Of course. _Of Course_! With a sardonic voice I ask, "You don't know how to get to your place, do you?"

Heavy silence passed before he admitted the obvious truth. "…..no…."

With a irritated voice, I shout back at him. "What kind of thief doesn't know the area they're stealing from?!"

He shoots me a "helpless" smile. "Sorry but it just happens to be that I'm new in town, so..."

My exasperated groan fills the air. This is all against my better judgment. This is stupid. I shouldn't involve myself anymore. I should just leave this aggravating thief behind to fend for himself. He and I shouldn't be together. It's bad enough that we've interacted this much. This is all too dangerous and just plain foolish to keep up.

Confusion and anticipation swirl within me. My hand is raised out and I don't even know why. I don't remember giving it permission to do so... and the boy. The tantalizing gorgeous politician's (ex)son. The ignorant thief. He simply gets up and promptly clasps my hand with his own, as if it is the most natural thing to do.

I shake my head. This will be the final time. It must be. I'll make sure of it. I have to...


	5. Hands and Names

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Vocaloid in any way, shape of form.

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Hand in hand, Mr. Stranger and I start to wander for a bit.

Looking for a distraction from the owner of the hand in mine, I start to look around, trying to appreciate the views that only ever reveal themselves in the light. The mesmerizing blue sky. The gentle breeze. The small flowers peeking through the cracks in the road.

But despite all of my greatest intentions, all of my thoughts always end up with _him_. The blue of his eyes. The golden hair that shines in the sun. The weight of his hand in mine.

Curiosity is blazing within me, devouring every other thought I can possibly think of.

_How did he become the ex-son of a wealthy politician?_

_Did he do some sort of crime?_

___Why is he so beautiful?_

_Who is his father?_

_Why did he choose thievery?_

_Does he have siblings?_

_Why did he come to this specific city?_

There is a burning desire to ask all of these questions and a million more. But I won't. I will resist. Just like I have my secrets, he surely must have his. And unfortunately, I don't think I could repay the price of a secret with one of my own.

The less we know about each other the better. That way, a relationship won't be formed. I could easily stop this sort of contact as soon as I get rid of him. I refuse to trap myself within another person. Another person would only become a weakness, something for Sir to blackmail me with.

This will end. It just has to….

But wait a minute! I don't even know where we're going. How am I supposed to get rid of this guy if I don't even know if I'm headed the right way or not?! Snapping myself out of my daze, I ask, "Where are we going?"

There's a lengthy silence before he finally says, "Ummm…I don't know?"

An exasperated sigh flows out of mouth and into the air. Raising an eyebrow at him, I clarify. "Yes. I'm aware of the fact that you have no idea where you are. But my question is: where do you live? Where am I taking you?"

Understanding lights up his eyes and with a nod, he says, "I live really close to that market we just ran away from. Take me back there and I'm sure we could figure it out from there."

Quickly, I adjust our route in my head and as I do so, I shoot him a skeptic look while saying "We? More like _you_. If you could figure out your way from the market place, then you don't need me to bring you back home. Not only that, but I refuse to be associated with you, an exposed thief."

Heavy silence hangs between us. Good. Maybe this way, he'll come to dislike me and decide to walk away from this too.

Our hands swing between us.

Honestly, what is it with this hand in hand stuff anyways? We aren't five and we certainly aren't going out….so what gives? But then again, it's not all that much of an issue, I think….At least this way he won't get lost. But then again, I probably should want him to get lost? That way, I could get rid of him easier…

Arrgggghhhh! None of this is making sense and my brain is starting to hurt. Not only that but this guy seems pretty carefree for someone who's lost….annoying lil' thief….

Another one of my sighs fills the air. The sooner I get rid of this guy the sooner I can get on with my life….

The stranger is looking at me. There's a look in his eyes but for some reason, I just can't seem to identify what it is….. clearing his throat, the stranger finally speaks up. "Hey….I never did thank you for helping me out back there, did I?"

In a pointed voice, I tell him the truth he already knew. "No, you didn't."

Suddenly the stranger stops and his hand yanks back on mine, forcing me to stop as well. In one fluid motion, I am quickly spun around so that we are facing each other. His eyes penetrate mine and in them is an odd mix of seriousness and mischievousness.

Falling lightly on one knee, he reaches out and places a soft kiss on the hand that he holds captive. Sparks shoot up my arm, threatening to short-circuit my body. Luckily, it's not strong enough and I remain in control. With a seductive smile on his face, he says "I thank you, my dear lady for so heroically rescuing me from my pursuer. I am now in your debt...Could I have the honor of knowing your name?"

That's it! Forget thievery! This boy should just be thrown in jail for being too beautiful. He's too dangerous to mingle with in public.

I can feel my lips tremble, they're begging to spill the truth that could ruin everything. Summoning more willpower than before, I let out a brusque "No."

A small pout graces his lips. An arrow stabs my heart. My current willpower is simply not enough. It takes everything within me to resist snatching me hand back and running away from this alluring boy. But my pride refuses to show this beauty any weaknesses at all. In a soft voice, he asks, "Why?"

My mind stumbles for an answer. How do I not seem panicked or suspicious? How can I answer it in such a way that no suspicion is created?

Something within me is taking over. It's a familiar feeling. Something I trust. I back down, letting it flow within me. The panic ebbs and I am now in control.

Slowly, I slide my hand out of his. I can feel a smirk on my face. The space between us is getting smaller. Resting a single index finger under his chin, I lift it, forcing his chin to go up along with it. Now, only my eyes hold the power. Slowly, I lean over so that my breath caresses his ear. Speaking softly, I ask, "Why should I tell you my name when I don't even know yours?"

Sparks are flying in the little amount of air the rests between him and I. With a slight hesitation, he answers, "I am Kag - . Len. My name is Len….."

I notice the name that remains unsaid. But still, the stranger, no Len, tries to continue as if such a mistake never happened. Yes. This boy definitely has some secrets of his own. He continues to speak.

"…..and now that you know my name…..m-may I now know yours?"

I let the silence hand between us before slowly drawing back and mischievously shaking my head no. I'm not that easy to please.

Shock lights up his eyes. He did not expect denial. Narrowing his eyes, Len stares, trying the find the answers hidden in mine. Too bad he'll never find it.

In his dazed state, I easily pull him back up. Hand in hand, we start off again. It seems that like many things in my life, some things just can't be changed.

Minutes pass before Len finally speaks again. It seems that Lens hates to lose as well. With a determined look in his eyes, he says, "Well, since you won't give me a name to call you by, I'll simply have to name you myself."

Glancing over at him, I tell him, "You do realize that I'm not some animal that you can name on some whim."

In an exasperated voice, Len complains, "Well, what else do you expect me to do? I can't just keep calling you 'you', you know? I need a name to address you by! Now let's see….how about….Meiko?"

My face scrunches up. "No." If I'm going to have a fake name, I might as well like it…..

"Rin?"

"No."

"Luka?"

"No."

"IA?"

"No."

"Gumi?"

"No."

A sigh puffs out of his lips. "You aren't going to make this easy for me, are you?"

"No."

"Very well. Then how about Miku?"

The name hits me harder than I would have liked. My name is something foreign and unusual around these parts. I'm surprised that Len even came up with it. But despite the fact that it sticks out like a sore thumb, I've always loved my name.

Anyways, today will be the last time I see this boy so what does it really matter if he uses my real name? For all he knows, it's a fake name….

Slowly, I nod my head yes and those beautiful blue sapphires shine even brighter with joy. I want them. I want them so bad.

Luckily for me, we finally arrive to the very edge of the market. I stop and Len stops along with me.

In a firm voice, I tell him. "This is goodbye."

Taking my hand out of his, I walk away. I will not turn back this time. I will not be weak.

But this time, a flash of gold whips in front of me. All I see is a pure sapphire. In my ear, he whispers "Not if I can help it…"

And just like that, he's gone.


	6. Selfish Wishes and Reality

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Vocaloid in any way, shape of form. I do not own the story the Little Prince or any direct quotes from the story.

~0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o~

The door creaks behind me as I close it shut. The lock clicks in place and it is only then that I can relax. If I haven't sensed Len's presence before on the way home, I probably won't hear it now...

I flop down into my bed, not bothering to take of my cloak. Crawling to the middle of the bed, I notice that the usually stiff mattress seems really comfortable today. Wow, I must be more exhausted than I thought. Not only that but I'm really hungry. No that's not it. That word isn't strong enough to describe this need passing through me. What is the word again?...Yes. Ravenous. I'm ravenous. Very ravenous...enough to eat this mattress?...No. Not yet at least. It's certainly been a while since I went hungry, that's for sure. The solution should be easy. All I have to do is go to the market and buy food. It's so simple. But I'm broke. Broke. Broke. Broke. So that means no food for me.

What was I even thinking, giving a complete stranger the rest of my money?! Sure he was a gorgeous stranger, but a stranger nonetheless. Sure he had beautiful eyes. And shiny hair. And nice hands. A good voice too.

BUT NO! A stranger is a stranger. Especially if he's a thief and an (ex)politician's son.

But that's not the real problem. It's just that...being nice doesn't suit someone like me. I must be evil. Evil is the only thing I can be. I am corrupted. Defiled. Tainted. Pure and lovely acts do not belong to someone like me. Not anymore. These are hands dyed in blood. It is a stain that will never leave. Hands like these don't belong in a beautiful world, his world. They belong in a world that blocks out the light. A world where it's useless to hope.

But everything will be ok. I'll make sure of it. I have to...there is simply no other choice.

It doesn't matter that I know his name. It doesn't matter that he's alluring. Our relationship has now just ended. Whatever we just were, whatever we could be...will never, ever be. He must be forgotten because he is dangerous. He is trouble. He will absolutely ruin everything.

I refuse to taint him in this ugly world of mine. I want that boy, that beautiful thief to forever shine brightly in the sun.

Would such a wish be considered selfish?

* * *

_Mama is reading me a bedtime story. I love it when Mama read me bedtime stories. More than when Papa does it. I love Papa's deep and rumbly voice. But when Mama reads to me, everything seems magical and real. If I close my eyes, I can pretend that I am in a whole different world. _

_I like that. _

_Today's story is something called __the Little Prince__. It's a little hard to get but Mama likes this story. So I will be a good girl and not say anything. I will let Mama be happy._

_"Just that," said the fox. "To me, you are still nothing more than a little boy who is just like a hundred thousand other little boys. And I have no need of you. _

_And you, on your part, have no need of me. To you I am nothing more than a fox like a hundred thousand other foxes. _

_But if you tame me, then we shall need each other. To me, you will be unique in all the world. To you, I shall be unique in all the world..."_

_Hmmm. That's weird. "Mama. I don't get it. Why does Mr. Fox want to be tamed?"_

_….Mama's not saying anything. Is she thinking maybe? I know I've been asking a lot of questions...but I want to understand this story that Mama likes. I hope I'm not being a bother..._

_After a long time, Mama speaks up again. Good! She's not upset after all! Thoughtfully, she says, "Mr. Fox doesn't want to be all by himself anymore. By choosing to be tamed, he is creating an unbreakable chain that will forever connect him and the prince."_

_"How mean of Mr. Fox! Isn't he just bothering the Prince with a wish like that?"_

_Mama stops and thinks again. Could this this book be too hard for even Mama to understand? _

_Mama's voice floats above my head. "Yes. The fox just may be bothering the Little Prince. But remember Miku. No one wants to be alone. And sometimes, we are so desperate that we would do anything to avoid being lonely. Even if it means being bothersome._

_In life….for a person to be truly happy…a person needs someone they are truly unique to. I think, that even if we don't want to admit it, we all need at least one person to live for…."_

* * *

**BRRRIIIINNNGGGG! BRRRIIIINNNGGGG! BRRRIIIINNNGGGG!**

**...…? **

My eyes slowly creak open. The usual ceiling reveals itself to me once again. What an unpleasant dream. It seems that I can't escape my memories, even in my dreams. How pitiful.

I don't understand. Why that memory? Why now? I don't think I want to know the answer.

**BRRRIIIINNNGGGG! BRRRIIIINNNGGGG! BRRRIIIINNNGGGG!**

This sound. This irritating and annoying sound. It comes from the plain black telephone on the small table next to me. Why did people even build these wretched things? For me, it's sound that can only mean one thing. Staring at the despicable contraption, I sigh. No one ever calls. No one but **_him_**. It seems that I have a new job to do. On some level, I'm happy. Now I will have money again. Now I will be able to eat.

The death of a man will pay for the food the will fill my stomach. How disgusting. But that's the sort of world I live in, isn't it?

**BRRRIIIINNNGGGG! BRRRIIIINNN – **

Enough. My hand snaps out, picking up the phone. I will get punished again if I don't pick up after all...

"Hello?"

Sir's rough voice echoes through the line, as expected. "Ah Miku. Listen. I have a job for you tonight. Be here by 11:30."

And he hangs up. Just like that. But it's ok. I'm used to it. Some things just never change, after all.

Slowly, I get out of bed and change into my work clothes. A simple dark dress, in case I must lose myself in a crowd. A deep black cloak. One that's the color of ink, a color that blocks out all of the light; that way, I can not only hide in the shadows but become the shadows. It's an easy task for someone as dirty like I.

After a long moment, my hands reach behind my head and slowly, I wind my long hair into a tight braid. I cannot afford to stand out. Slipping it into my cloak, my beautiful long teal hair is temporarily gone, the very representative of what I've become. In the mirror, it is clear that Mama, Papa, and Gakupo are long gone and completely out of reach. With my hair gone in the depths of my cloak, it's painfully clear that no one would dare save this horrible and corrupted being. But that's no matter. Some things just simply can't be changed.

Before heading out the door, I grab a medium sized bag. The weight in my hand is familiar, the pieces that clatter together inside, making sounds that are all too recognizable. And with this wretched bag, I set off into the sinful night.

* * *

Three Hours later

* * *

A silent night.

A desolate rooftop.

Everlasting patience.

A cramped body.

A poised finger.

Careful aim.

A single movement that changes everything and nothing.

Like usual, I can hear it, the sound of a single bullet against a human's skull. It makes a resounding crack that echoes into the street, bouncing from the walls becoming arrows that pierce whatever's left of my heart. Even now, as much as I don't want it to, the sound haunts me deep inside. But like usual, I will bury it to a place that's even deeper. Such sentiments are unneeded.

Like usual, I start to move. Getting sighted is not part of the plan. It never is. I must live to see tomorrow though I never really know why. It's not like someone is waiting for me.

Like usual, the clients hits the ground with a thud. He doesn't move. With that, my job is officially done. There is nothing left for me to do but to get the hell out of here.

Like usual, I take apart my gun and quietly slip the pieces into my bag nearby. This is all an automated process. I don't need to think. Thinking would only ruin everything. Thinking would make my sin more real than it needs to be.

Like usual, I prepare to leap off the roof.

But today, something is different.

Today, I look back. And even in the deep of night, I see it.

From the man's head, a deep ruby red heavily flows out, contaminating everything it touches. It spans out, seeping into the ground below.

Once again, I've corrupted the world. Sometimes I wonder….Just how much more will I continue to fall?

But then I remember: it will never end.

Forever and ever. I will continue to slip through the cracks of a dark eternity with nothing but my pain and this paralyzing agony.

It is clear that I will never be able to break free.

Can someone tell me? Does a heart simply vanish? Or must a person rip it out and stab it until there's nothing left to excruciate? I would really love to know.

Leaping off the roof, I'm forced to remind myself. No one would dare to save me. Not anymore. I am simply not worth it.

I know this. So why did I think of _him_?

* * *

**A/N: Wahh! Thanks to all who have reviews/followed/favorited this story so far! I love you all (don't worry, that includes you too, my silent readers ^^) Special thanks to zhane17 for your interesting reviews and Awesome dt for your many questions (they help keep me on track ^^). See you all next time.**

**Full of feels, Sunset**


	7. Dreams and Stolen Hearts

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Vocaloid in any way, shape of form.

~0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o~

_The sun is shining brightly in a pure blue sky and it's warm on my skin. For some reason, today feels different. Looking down at my outfit, I try to realize what it is. I'm wearing a dress, as per usual. Nothing odd about that...oh. I hold the strangely soft fabric in my hands, staring in wonder and amazement. It's…it's….. yellow? _

_What am I doing, wearing such a flashy thing? I'll stand out too much wearing this! What was I thinking? I must go change at once! I take a step forward….but the strong hand in mine holds me back. I can't escape. Do I even want to escape?_

_A silky voice tells me I'm absolutely beautiful. My skin feels like it's on fire. From what? From what? Who is this? Do I know him? His golden hair shines along with the sun and the shine casts his face in a shadow. I can't see his face. Do I want to? Sapphire earrings rest on his ear. They're gorgeous, such an enchanting blue. I feel like I've seen them before. Have I? I want to kiss them, steal them and make them my own. But for some reason….something is holding me back. Those sapphire orbs aren't allowed to be mine….why?_

_Something slips and slithers between our hands. I don't like it. It's warm. It unpleasant. An odd smell permeates the air. From our hands, a ruby colored rose blooms. In amazement, I watch the beautiful flower bloom into life. It's petals gracefully spread before exploding right before my eyes. The blood surrounds us, covering everything. The contamination spreads, the sun has been put out. The sky is now the color of deadly ink. No light can reach through now. _

_I know what this is. Once again, these wretched hands of mine have tainted the world and stolen a piece of its beauty. _

_In front of me, he falls slowly. His hair golden turns dull, those sapphire orbs darken with the intensity of my sins. His lifeless hand hangs in mine. _

_No._

_From our still clasped hands, dark blood flows out. My blood? His blood? Whoever's blood it is, it slithers down his arms, creeps up mine. _

_NO!_

_He's dead! _

_*** is dead!_

_He's dead! _

_Who is dead?_

_A tall man with long purple hair is on the ground. Standing above him, I realize that I know him. I know him. This is...this is...Gakupo?_

_From him, a deep ruby red seeps out. Just like...just like...who?_

_I know what this is. This is blood, isn't it? Slowly, it devours him, consuming him whole._

_As his lifeless eyes stare into mine, I remember that it's all my fault. MY FAULT! IT'S ALL MY FAULT!_

_My legs give out from under me. Sobs wrack my body. These rocks piled on top of me hurt. They hurt! They're going to squish me! Ah. AH! That's a gun. He'll kill me. He'll kill me! Mama! Papa! Save me! Mama? Papa? Why aren't you moving? Please –_

* * *

**KKKKKKKKYYYYYYYYYYAAAAAAAAAAAA!**

My gray and hideous ceiling stares back at me. Huffs of air fill the room. They're mine, aren't they? My bed creaks and groans. My dingy window lets in a ray of sunlight and my hands are clean. Maybe not pure, but they are certainly clean; devoid of that deep ruby red. And in relief, tears slip and pour out of my eyes. A shaky laugh permeates the air. A dream! A dream! It was all just a dream…...

Silence settles heavily. The sound of my breathe rings in my ears. I feel like I'm suffocating.

Leave. I need to leave. I need to leave **_now_**. I need to be anywhere but here.

Jumping out of bed and storming to my closet, I throw on the first dress I see. It's gray, as per usual. Good.

In front of the mirror, I get ready to do my hair, sweeping it into it's usual twin tails. But then I remember Gakupo's long hair dyed in red. I remember Len's last words to me, promising to find me again.

My hair slips out of my hands, falling carelessly around me. I can't. I just can't. Not today.

With shaky hands, I twist my hair into a long braid, the same kind of hairstyle that I use when I have jobs. Will I contaminate the world today too? I hope not. In the mirror, I see the girl that I hate to see. The girl is see in the mirror is a sinful murderer. she doesn't deserve love...

Quickly, I turn away, slip on a cloak and head towards the door, escaping into the light that's not meant for me. As soon as I lock the door behind me, I head towards Kaito's food stall without a second thought. But it isn't until I'm halfway there that I realize that going to that specific market place will only increase my chances of meeting up with Len.

That can't happen. I can't meet up with him.

It's time to find a new place to eat.

* * *

Two Months Later

* * *

So ridiculous! I can't do this anymore! I don't want to do this any more! This is what, the twentieth time I've thrown up now? Do people not know how to cook decent food anymore? I just can't believe this! Is Kaito the only one that sells edible food in this forsaken city? I've tried six other markets on the west blok, four in the south blok and five in the east blok. And I can't find any good food stalls at all!

My sigh resounds in the air. I've been letting out a lot of those recently. I give up. I. Give. Up. It's time to go back to Kaito. No more of this garbage that people call food. And with that, I turn away from the trashcan next to the stall that just served me the most disgusting piece of meat that I've ever eaten in my life and the rude lady that served it. Selfish old hag.

I'm a bit low on money but desperate times call for desperate measures.

Plus, I'm sure it will be ok. There'll be no troubles at all. Len would have definitely given up by now. It's been two months after all…. I'm sure some beautiful caught his interest by now…It'll be fine.

Nervously, I quickly walk across bloks, making my way to the market place I'm so familiar with to finally Kaito's food stall. As soon as my eyes see his still, I quicken up my pace and as I do, my eyes meet up with his. But before I can even reach the counter, Kaito hops over and wraps me up in a giant hug, enveloping me whole. Squeezed tight against his body, I'm trapped, unable to move from his strong grasp. Upon reflex, I tense. But it's only a couple moment before I'm finally able to relax. Yes. As much as I don't really want to admit it, I've missed this soothing presence.

After a moment, Kaito abruptly lets me go and falls against the counter, leaning back onto it. He is trying to look nonchalant, but I can see the worry and relief in his eyes. A gentle warmth floods my insides and for the first time in weeks, I feel…..content.

I have to admit. Kaito is doing a good job of keeping a poker face. With a cool voice, he asks, "So tell me, mystery girl. Where have you been for the last two months?"

I hesitate for a moment before finally answering. "Ah….welll….I was just trying out some different food, you know? I wanted to try something a bit different….is all….."

A look of exaggerated shock crosses his face. "What's this? You've been eating food other than mine all this time?" A teasing smirk takes over his face. Dramatically, he sighs and looks up to the sky. "The nerve! The betrayal! A wound straight to the heart! All this time, I've been worrying about my precious mystery girl and as it turns out, she's been as unfaithful as can be! Oh, how it hurts!"

Then, although there's a playful glint in his eyes, his face turns serious. Pushing himself off the counter, Kaito takes a step closer to me. Slowly, he reaches a hand out and strokes a hand down my cheek. There's something in his voice, something I don't recognize. Softly, he says, "Tell me, Little Miss Mystery Girl. How will you make it up to me?"

My mouth gapes. What do I say? This has never happened before...

But before Kaito can continue, a familiar blonde head pops up into view. No...Oh...Please, oh please...don't let it be...

Coming from behind Kaito, an ecstatic voice exclaims, "Miku! So this is where you've been! I've been….."

For a moment, my heart stops. It's getting hard to breathe. It's him. It's...It's Len. He found me. He actually found me! I don't understand. Has he been actually looking for me all this time? Happiness and fear flood my heart. I'm drowning. I want to hug him. I need to leave. Both wants fight for dominance within me. And before I can understand what's going on, I run. The need to escape takes over and I dash away from Kaito and the tantalizing boy that's been haunting my dreams.

People scream, shout and curse in my direction. Food flies around me and birds frantically squawk. But it doesn't matter. I push past them all without care. Behind me, I hear the pounding of persistent footsteps. Instinct takes over and I desperately push harder. Farther. Farther. I must run farther away.

Those footsteps grow closer and closer. His long legs are taking him farther than my short legs ever could. Frantically, I take every turn I see, hoping to lose him within the depths of the city. I won't look back this time. But it seems like my ignorant thief has learned this lesson. This city is now his as well. For a moment, I think that I've finally lost him. His footsteps aren't pounding behind mine any longer.

But suddenly, a streak of blonde cuts in front of me and cuts me off. His body slams into mine and together, we crash into an alley wall. Trashcans clatter around us and the the air is crushed out of my body. It takes a couple of moments for me to understand the full danger of the situation I'm in.

I can't run. I can't move. I can't escape. Pinned between his strong body and the alley wall, I am trapped. Exhausted pants fill up the air. He's close. So close. Just a breathe away. His breaths are now mine...I am suffocating in his presence as something burns through me. The seconds pass slowly. What can I do? What can I do?

His voice fills up my air. The sound caresses my ears and everything else fades. It's the only sound that exists. It's a desolate voice full of desperation. His hands are clenched on the wall behind me. "Please." He begs. "Please." His voice drops to a whisper. "Don't run away from me…."

His sapphire eyes bore into mine. Transfixed on their beauty and elegance, I am unable to look away. They look so sad that it hurts. I want to cry. I must get away. Far away from this boy. Or else…or else….it might just be too late for the both of us. Please. Oh please. Don't let it be too late...

"Yeash, didn't I tell you last time? I don't want to keep meeting up with you. I want you out of my life. So let me the fuck go already. Enough is enough, ya little shit."

The harsh ring of my voice makes the both of us cringe. It's clear that my words were like a knife to his chest. But this is for the best.

Once again, Len quietly pleads. "Please. Just one more day. That's all I want from you. Just one more day…"

It takes every effort to force my gaze into a glare, aiming straight into those elegant blue orbs. "No. I don't want to, for God's sake! Just leave me alone already, why don't you? Why don't you try to find some other girl to play around with?"

Len's body droops in exhaustion. Leaning his head on my shoulder, he says, "God. Don't you get it? I tried. I tried so hard. There are so many beautiful girls in this city. But none of them are you. For some reason, I just can't forget you…..Everyday, for this past two months, I told myself 'if I don't find her today, I'll give up'. But yet, without fail, I would spend the next day looking for you. And just like that, I kept looking and looking. Even I know this is really stupid of me…..Even I know that I should have given up by now...I already know that you want nothing to do with me. But please? Just one day. One date. One final memory. And after that…..I'll give up. I'll leave you alone…..for good." His head lifts up, his eyes once again stare into mine. They're pleading with mine. "Please?"

This is too much. I can't handle this.

"Just one day." My mouth decides before I do. "This is the last and final time. After today, you will never, ever, try to find me again. Leave this city if you have to. Is that clear?"

I know. I'll pretend this is a dream. A really pleasant dream. God knows I've been in dire need of them lately….

And just like that, his beautiful face lights up in joy and relief. A face like that will kill me one day for sure...

Slowly, we peel of the wall. Len takes a step back and tentatively holds out an open hand. For a moment, I stare at it. This hand will steal my heart for sure. But then I remember: it already did. With that, I grasp on tightly. I might as well enjoy this dream to the fullest...

Together, hand in hand, we set off…..

* * *

**Hello everyone! So sorry for the long wait! I had a shitload of homework this past week along with a lot of school activities...I'm actually really tired...but this chapter comes first! ^^ Hope you guys like it, it's a bit longer than my usual chapters actually. (Yay me!) **

**Anyways, I wanna know if you guys have any suggestions for their ****date. Of course, I have my own ideas but I wanna see if you guys can come up with interesting ideas. Help me out? Pretty please? *Cue in intense puppy eyes***

**Love, Sunset :)**


	8. Promises and Lies

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Vocaloid or any of its songs in any way, shape of form.

~0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o~

For a while, we wander in silence, heading in no specific direction. Len's hand is stiff in mine and his eyes dart around everywhere, never once focusing on me. Then, as if by accident, his eyes land on mine. He doesn't even hold our gaze for even three seconds before quickly averting his eyes elsewhere.

Could it be? Is this boy actually…nervous? At the idea, a smile crept onto my face and a small giggle escapes my lips. _How interesting._ At the sound, Len flinches before finally turning to me, settling his eyes 30 degrees left of mine. There is a 'bright' smile on his face, but the 'brightness' does not reach his eyes. No. In his eyes is something else. Worry probably. In a 'cheery' voice, Len asks, "Would you mine letting me in on the joke?"

Good. He's not a coward after all. With a smirk, I tell him, "Oh. It's nothing really. I just find it really cute that despite all the girls you've been with….." Slowly, I shift my head 30 degrees, catching his eyes with mine. "This is actually the first time you've fallen in love, isn't it?"

With that comment, Len's face flamed up into a deep red. Well would you look at that? Looks like I was right on the mark after all. How adorable.

Continuing, I say, "Well, I must admit. I am just _simply_ honored. I must be the first girl out of millions to have captured your flighty heart. Well, I can't blame you; I **_am_** quite the beauty myself." And with my words, I watch anxiety and panic take over Len's face. He's lost control of the situation in less than five minutes and he's struggling to regain it. He's used to being in control, I can tell. Unfortunately for him though, my heart is not easily captured.

Then, in mere seconds, Len's eyes harden in determination and his hand yanks on mine, forcing me to stumble closer. In those mere seconds, with a single fluid motion, with a grace and speed that rivals my own, his face swoops down and captures my lips with his own, holding them captive.

In shock, every coherent thought I have disintegrates to ash. I can only feel the soft pressure his lips on mine and the heat of his chest. Cupping the back of my head, he gently forces us closer still until there is absolutely no space between us left. For the quickest milliseconds, the pressure lifts all before coming back down once again to lightly suck on my bottom lip. At the sensation, all of my defenses fall, I'm intoxicated, a gasp escapes my lips. At the opening, his tongue slips in and I don't do a single thing to resist. For some reason, I just can't. Slowly, tantalizingly, his tongue wraps and dances around mine. What is going on? I don't think I understand. Just what sort of kiss is this? Is this normal? It's getting hard to breathe...Ah.

* * *

Slowly, my eyes refocus and adjust to the light. How long has it been? Seconds? Minutes? Hours? I just don't know. The soft pressure on my lips is gone and shallow gasps fill the air. Is that me? It takes a moment for the white fuzz clear up from my mind and when it does, the first thing I notice is the position I'm in. Len's arms are encasing me, one still resting one the back of my head while the other is on the small of my back. My hands however, are tightly grasping onto his cloak; the material is clenched tightly within my fists. With a small gasp, I let go, a stupid mistake. Letting go from my only support, my legs give out from under me, crumpling under my weight. I never hit the ground though. As if it is the natural thing to do, Len's arms adjust and tighten around me, holding me in place and somehow closer all at the same time.

Close. He's too close. His scent wafts out, covering me, poisoning me. More. I want more. More. I can't have more. Uselessly, my hands push against his chest, trying to escape from his intoxicating hold. Forcefully, I shout, "Let me go already!" But my voice sounds weak, even to my ears.

Slowly, his head dips down so that his lips rest gently on my left ear. In a smooth voice, he whispers, "I don't think that's a good idea…." The sound sends light shivers up and down my spine. "From the way your legs are trembling, I highly doubt they can hold you up, you know? I think it's safer if we stay like this for a bit more, don't you think?"

Even in this situation, I can sense the confident smirk on his face. _Amazing._ With a single move, he's regained all control. He has a hold on my heart. There isn't a single trace of the nervousness that was present before. But wait. No. This isn't the time to be admiring him.

Weak resistance pushes through. "Just….let me go….already….."

With a voice that's seduced thousands, he whispers back, "I. Don't. Want. To."

Close. He's too close. More. I want more. More. Can I have more? But before my own lips can betray me, a loud rumble erupts from my stomach, destroying Len's hold on me in seconds.

Wow…..who knew? I guess hunger has the power to even overcome a situation like this…..

At the sound, Len straightens up, slowly letting me go, lightly running his fingertips down my arm before landing his hand into mine once again. In a confident voice, he says, "Sorry about that. I didn't realize that you haven't eaten yet. Let's go grab some food then…."

But instead of moving, he just stands there patiently, as if he's waiting for something. It takes me a moment to realize that what he's waiting for is for my legs to re-stabilize themselves. It's sweet and embarrassing, all at the same time. Since when have I become this weak?

When I'm sure that my legs won't give out on me, I give him a slight nod. This time, it's me who can't meet his eyes. He doesn't move. Instead, he steps in front of me and leans down, using the pads of his fingers to lift my chin. It seems that our positions have switched because now it's my eyes that are forced to meet his. In a self-assured voice, he says, "You know, for a girl that can skillfully play with hearts, you are oddly inexperienced when matters gets physical." His eyes twinkle mischievously, causing a small blush to tinge my cheeks. "I like it." My mouth opens and closes but nothing comes out.

Shooting me a triumphant smile, he straightens up and walks off with me in tow, leading the way to some destination that only he knows.

* * *

Ten minutes later, we are back at the market place, at a food stall that isn't Kaito's. The very sight of the foreign stall makes my stomach clench in fear. I don't know what would be worse, facing Kaito how I am now or trying more new food that could possible upset my stomach like several others have done. To be truthful, I've seen this stall before and I've considered buying from it, but it's priceyness has always stopped me. I've learned the hard way that pricey doesn't always mean delicious….

Looking up at Len, I quietly ask, "I appreciate the attempt but do you even have the money to afford food from here?"

Len just smiles down at me. Whispering in my ear, he says, "But of course I do. Just because I've been searching for you for the last two months doesn't mean I haven't been working myself….Just like you have ways of getting by, I have mine….."

At that, I smile. Should I have expected anything different from a thief? At the counter, Len asks a pretty waitress with choppy green hair and green eyes for the A meal set. With an airy voice and a smile, she replies, "Very well sir, that'll be 50 Ethas."

At her reply, my mouth practically drops to the ground. 50 Ethas?! Just how good is this food for it to cost so much? That's way too expensive to be sensible! Apparently, even Len agrees because he pouts and says, "Hey, don't you think that's a bit too much for a plate of food? How about 25?"

At the beautiful sight, the girl blushes lightly. But this girl is strong. With tenacious resistance, she firmly replies, "I'm sorry sir. Either you pay the appropriate amount of money or I'm afraid that I must ask you to leave."

Gliding swiftly, Len leans over the counter. With a long arm, he reaches out a hand and gently plays with the girl's hair before cupping her cheek and bringing her closer to him. Their lips practically touch. In a low voice, he pleads, "Please? Just this once?" With large eyes, he stares directly into her eyes and like magic, the girl turns a bright red. In her ear, he breaths, "For me?" With his other hand, he reaches out for the waitress's free hand and places a few bills into her open palm before folding her fingers shut along with his. And just like that, the enraptured waitress slips the money into her apron and slips into the back to grab the food, practically shoving it in Len's direction. With a wink, he mouths 'thanks' before grabbing me by the hand and finding us a small table to sit and eat at.

As we settle down, a feeling different than before burns through me. This time, it's horribly unpleasant and it's like my heart is being strangled. It's something similar to anger but not exactly. I am displeased with what I just saw but I don't really know why. Clenching my hands under the table, I arrange my face into a playful smirk and say, "So….I'm guessing hearts are among the many things you steal, huh? Well aren't you a dangerous boy…."

Leaning back comfortably into his chair, Len smirks right back and says, "Like I said. Some of us have to get by somehow…." Then he pauses for a moment before sitting up again and locking his eyes on mine. He's staring carefully at me, like he can sense the change in my mood. Finally, he speaks again and with a serious voice, he slowly says, "But never forget Miku…..I could lie to the whole world…..but I'll never lie to you….."

Those words freeze me in place. A new feeling takes over and this one I recognize: desperation. I desperately want to believe those magical words, those beautiful promises; but I can't. I refuse to fall for such a trick so easily…..This boy simply can't be trusted. Not now. Not ever. He'll ruin me.

Without acknowledging his words, I simply look down and take my first bite of the food in front of me.

This is….this is….._possibly_ the best food I've ever eaten! No! Screw that! This **is** the best food I've ever eaten! Sorry Kaito, but your food has just been beat. Savory and tender bird meat. Spices that explode beautifully in my mouth. Vegetables that are cooked to perfection. Rice that is neither over or under cooked. Together, they all mix beautifully and create something that must resemble heaven. With this food in my mouth, it's like those last two months of pain and terrible food never happened. Each bite is better than the last and by the time I'm all done, I am full and absolutely content. Nothing could ruin my mood now!

And as I settle into my seat and take in my surroundings, I notice that something else has changed. The chair that once held a beautiful thief is now empty, devoid of any body heat. At the sight, my cheery mood dampens. It seems that I've been abandoned. For a moment, I just sit and stare at the empty seat before quietly cleaning up my remains. And as I do, a sad sigh echoes in my ears. But it's better this way, isn't it? After all, I must never forget. We can never be. All dreams must end eventually…..Nothing is forever…..Right?

Slowly, I get up to leave. Adjusting my cloak on my shoulders, I take a final look at the empty chair before setting off. Things will be better this way. They will. So why won't my feet move? Why am I still holding on? It's so simple. All I have to do is put one foot in front of the other and forget this all ever happened. And yet, here I am, waiting for someone that won't and shouldn't come back.

With newfound determination, I push towards the bustling crowd, only to be roughly yanked back by a pair of hands that I know too well. Crushed against this familiar chest, I automatically relax. Unrestrained happiness is flowing through me and I couldn't have stopped it even if I tried.

The arms holding me are shaking ever so slightly. His head drops so that it's just above my right shoulder. Quietly, he pleads, "Please don't leave. Stay with me for just a little bit longer."

Lifting a hand, I find his face and slowly, I run my fingertips down the length of it. A shiver runs through him and I tell him my truth, "You left first."

Behind me, he shakes his head no. I can't see it but it can feel the silky tendrils of his golden hair brush against my cheek back and forth. "No…I didn't leave. Ah…well….I did but I always meant to come back. What I meant to say is….I wanted to get you this."

Reaching down, he slides a hand down my arm until he finds my free hand. It's clenched tightly on my cloak and he covers it whole with his. Slowly prying it open, he flips my hand palm up and places his present down. Bringing it up to eye level, I see that it's an exquisite hair ornament made up of deep blue fabric flowers and small pieces of delicate gray lace. Staring at the beautiful hairpiece, I notice that it's something that I would have never been able to afford in all of my life. Thousands of emotions flow through me, but what comes out of my lips is, "You stole this, didn't you?"

A light chuckle resounds in my ears and with a smile in his voice, he replies, "Yes. I did. But that's not a surprise, now is it?"

A small smile has invaded my face. "No." I tell him. "It's not."

Then, his warm is gone and a gentle but strong arm tugs me into the chair beside me. Curious, I ask, "What are you doing?" Positioned behind me, I can feel his hands work their way into the long braid that trails down my back.

"You see, it's like this Miku. After you took your first bite, there was just this look of pure joy on your face. It was like you just experienced heaven or something as equally amazing. And even though you were so caught up in your food, I didn't mind at all. It made me happy to know that I was the one that put such a cute expression on your face. And as I continued to watch you eat, I realized that your hair was seriously bothering me. Last time, I saw you in twin tails and you looked absolutely adorable. But today, your hair is all bound up in a braid and I can barely see it from underneath from hood. I'm sorry but I just don't like it. So I thought to myself, _'what can I do?' _And it was then that I got the idea to get you a hair ornament. I have to admit, it was actually a bit hard to choose one at first because teal is a bit hard to match colors up with. But the moment I saw this blue one, I knew that it would look simply gorgeous on you."

"Hmmmm….ok. That makes sense. But I still have a question."

"And what would that be?"

Waving my hand in his general direction, I ask, "Just when did you learn to style hair? Even Gakupo, with his long hair, had a hard time styling my hair."

"Gakupo? Who's that?"

At the question, I stop and catch my words. I have to be careful. I'm becoming too careless. "Ah. He was just a childhood guardian of mine…."

Len ponders for a moment before asking "And he had long hair too?"

Nodding my head, I carefully say, "Yeah. It was really long and elegant looking."

Understanding rings in his voice. "Ah! I get it now!"

"What do you get?"

"Well, most girls in this city keep their hair really short. You're actually the first girl I've seen with hair as long as yours. So for a while, I've been wondering why. And now I get it. The length of your hair reminds you of him, doesn't it?"

Once again, his words freeze me in place. Never has anyone been able to figure me out like that before….He's even more dangerous than I thought.

Desperate to shift the conversation from me, I quickly blurt out, "Hey! Enough about me! You never even answered my question….."

"Oh yeah! That's right. Well to answer your question, the reason would be my mother. You see, my mother was always nervous about strangers. For some reason I never understood, she was always afraid of other people. If it wasn't for her arranged marriage, I doubt she would have ever gotten married.

But the thing is, she had this beautiful long hair. Not as long as yours but it was long enough. Since she never let a hair arranger near her, my twin sister and I would always do it for her. It was something special between the three of us. And….and even after she died, I continued to do my sister's hair so I guess after a while, I just became really good at it, you know?"

There's a lot I want to ask. How did his mother die? What is his sister's name? Did he leave her behind? Does he miss her? But even I know that such questions should not be asked. Just like I have my own box of secrets, I am absolutely sure that he has his. I will not cross our boundaries.

After a moment of silence, he reaches from behind and places an open palm in front of me. Dropping the hair ornament in his waiting hand, I look out to the crowd. This calm and anxious sensation. This feeling of happiness and boundaries. To be safe and scared all at the same time. To control and be controlled. Is this what it means to be in a relationship? It's all a trap and yet, it's one I am willing to walk into. Is this what it means to be in love? I don't know if I like it…

With a final tug, Len declares himself done. Slowly, I pat my hair with the pads of my fingers, trying to get a feel of how my hair is. It's not enough. Looking up at him, I ask, "How do I look?"

With a smile, he says, "Absolutely gorgeous." My doubt must be showing through my face because he goes on to say, "But you don't believe me, do you?"

Slipping my head back down, I slowly shake my head no. I don't believe those words for a single second. I know I am beautiful but I am certainly not gorgeous. From behind me, Len lets out a sad sigh. And as he does, he lean down, pressing a gentle kiss on the side of my head before swinging around and offering a hand out. "Come on Miku. Let's go find you a mirror."

Grasping his hand tightly in mine, I allow him to pull me out of my chair. Making sure that we have everything, we set off into the bustling crowd.

We stick to the side so that we aren't jostled by the masses of people going through. Our hands slowly swing between us and I can't help but notice that people are staring at us. I can feel the stares everywhere, coming in from all angles. More often than not, most people turn back to get a second glance before rushing off.

In a monotonous voice, I ask Len, "Len….I look strange, don't I?"

Surprised, he answers, "What makes you think that?"

"People keep staring at us, giving us strange looks. I know those looks aren't for you…."

Seconds pass before understanding registers in Len's eyes. And when he does, he lets out a light laugh, as if I've said something funny. "Well, you're right. Those looks aren't for me. They're for you. But not for the reason you think."

"What do you mean?"

"Miku, under normal circumstances, you're beautiful. But now, with your hair done up, you're absolutely stunning. People can't help but stare. It's like you're a force that demands to be admired. People stare because they have no choice but to. You, are gorgeous.

But you think I'm lying, don't you? But that's ok." Shooting a wink in my direction, he tells me what I already knew. "I like a challenge...

Now look. Look at the truth that never once was a lie."

With movements that I do not foresee, he spins me around so that I am face to face with a girl I do not recognize. The girl in front of me isn't the hateful girl whose hands are stained with blood. The girl in front of me isn't the pitiful girl that chases after the ghosts of her dead parents and guardian. No. The girl in front of me, the girl in the mirror is a beautiful girl. She's absolutely stunning. Her bangs hang exquisitely around her face, framing it delicately while the rest of her teal hair is wound up in a complex array of interconnecting braids, resting regally and elegantly on the back of her head. And there on the side of her head, is the hair ornament chosen solely for her. The hair ornament contrasts beautifully against her teal hair, giving her a sophisticated air. Who is the beautiful girl in the mirror, because it certainly isn't me. Such a beautiful person surely can't me. And yet….somehow….it is….

Faintly, a gentle voice floats through my lips and says the words that I've always meant to say: "Thank you Len."

Tenderly tugging on my hand, we head off once again. Len doesn't say a thing but there is a huge smile on his face.

* * *

Walking side by side, we explore deep into the depths of the market place. The stares continue to follow us but I don't care anymore. This is a dream. In dreams, anything can happen. Today, I will stand out because tomorrow, without a doubt, I will return back to the realm of invisibility. Every so often, Len's hand flashes out and grabs some small good or snack. A muffin. Hairpins. A delicate whistle. Beautiful gloves. Whatever it is, it is always for me. Feeling guilty, I ask him to stop, but every time, he would shake his head and say that it'd be something to remember him by. Doesn't he know that's the last thing I want? A cruel boy indeed. And yet, like a fool, I accept every gift, my pockets growing heavy with stolen goods.

Then, as we near the edge of the market, I hear a distant tune that causes me to stand in place, forcing Len to stop along with me. I recognize this tune. The sound is warm and familiar. I want to find it. Worried, Len asks, "Is something wrong?"

I ignore him, straining to sense the direction of the distant sound. He tries again. "Hey? Miku?" And it's then that I figure out the way to go. Tugging on his hand, I say, "Follow me."

And without a second thought, I scurry off, dragging Len along with me. Navigating through the maze of the city and its various alleys and backways, we find ourselves in a small park with a few trees. It's here where the sound is strongest. It's here where the sound promises to devour me whole and send me to the one place I very often try to avoid. And here I am, running straight towards it.

This sound, this song, it's different than the one I heard long ago. The sound is deeper from the high voice that resounds in my memories. But it's still the same beautiful song, unchanged even after all these years.

I can hear Len's voice trying to get my attention. But he's not important right now. This sound. This tune. I must find it. Turning my head about left and right, I frantically search for the source of the sound.

And finally, hidden by the trunk of a small Sky Tree, sits a man with pink hair with a guitar in his hand. Just like me, it is obvious that this man is a foreigner. From his pink hair to the odd hat on his head to the even odder gloves on his hands, it's clear that this man is not from here.

Letting go of Len's hands, I creep closer to the pink haired man until I am on the other side of the tree trunk. From here, underneath the setting sun, I can see the blue of Len's eyes twinkle from where I've left him. From here, the words the man sings are clear. And from memory, forgetting all of my inhibitions, I sing along to the song that marks the happy days of my childhood. Diving into a momentary paradise, I sing along to the song that reminds me of a city where pink hair is not a rarity but part of normalcy; the second to last city Papa, Mama and myself ever traveled to together. With a man I do not know, I sing along to the impossible promises that were made, long ago.

* * *

_"Hey….Mama. Papa. That was such a pretty song, wasn't it? The lady singing it was so pretty and her voice was really pretty too. I want to sing like that one day!"_

_From above me, Papa chuckles with his deep rumbly voice. "Well if you keep practicing, maybe one day you will…" _

_"Yeah! That's what I'll do! …..Hey. One day, if you two ever die without me, would you answer back to my love poems?"_

_Mama and Papa just look at me for a moment before smiling gently. Papa laughs and says, "But Miku, Mama and Papa aren't going to die anytime soon. We're going to stay right here next to you for a looooonnngggg time, you know?"_

_No. You're lying. I'm a big girl now. I know that Mamas and Papas can die early just like other people. And when they die, they'll leave me behind, won't they? "Papa's a liar. You don't know that."_

_At that, Mam's eyes widen before smiling sadly. Slowly, she says, "Hmmmm. I guess you're right. We don't know. So then the answer would be yes. If Mama and Papa ever die without you, all you need to do is write a love poem."_

_"Like in the song?"_

_"Yes. Like in the song. But unlike the song, Mama and Papa will answer back. Because **that** is how much we love you."_

_"Promise?"_

_Papa's hand pats my head. "Yes. We promise."_

* * *

"_These poems written of my love for you,_

_If they kept piling up, would they someday reach you?_

_Into what was your room,_

_Every day, they were thrown_

_I couldn't see you anymore,_

_And I kept loving you_

_But I thought we'd meet again_

_And you disappeared again_

_These poems written of my love for you,_

_I've been sending them for 16 years straight_

_And there's still no reply,_

_And there's still no reply."_

Hey, Mama. Papa. It doesn't matter how many poems I try to send to you two, does it? It's a good thing I gave up long ago. You two never will answer, will you? You're going to break your promise after all, aren't you? Liars. But then again, should I have ever expected anything different?

From behind me, the man breaks into a different song. One I recognize but do not know the words to. But it's ok. I don't want to remember anything anymore. I don't want to feel this pain anymore. My paradise has dissipated into the undeniable truth. Nothing lasts forever.

Looking up, I realize that Len is sitting in front of me, watching me, staring at me with a bewitched look in his eyes. In the glow of the twilight, those sapphire orbs sparkle and glow. Yes. I'm on a date right now, aren't I? Soon. Soon. I must let go of this dangerous boy soon before his promises become lies too. His eyes catch mine and silently, he stands.

He does a gesture I am all too familiar with. But this time, it's different. Time is escaping and there's not a lot of it left. He knows this. I know this. Soon, it will all end and everything will go back to normal.

A little longer. I want to dream for a little longer.

Grabbing his hand, he pulls me up. But instead of leading me away to who knows where, he unties my cloak and lets it fall to the ground. Released from the weight of his stolen goods and my soon to be forbidden memories, he sweeps me into his arms. And slowly, gently, he guides me through a dance to the strum of a guitar. At first, I am clumsy. I do not remember how to dance. But Len is patient. He doesn't mind that I step on his toes. And slowly, surely, the moves come back to me from the depths of the memories of a child taught long ago.

Under the starry sky, we spin and dance and soon, we are dancing to music that only we can hear. The pink haired man is not missed. He is not needed nor is he wanted.

But time is up. We both know it. There is no point lying to ourselves and just like that, we stop, gently panting with exhaustion. I should let go. I should walk away. This needs to end. But I don't want this to end. Let him possess my heart. I want to keep dreaming. Is such a wish considered selfish? Probably.

This hand in mine. It doesn't matter if it makes me happy. It doesn't matter if I am in love. The fact is, I will ruin this hand if I continue to hold on to it any longer. If I continue to hold on, I will taint this hand with my ugliness, won't I?

Therefore, I must let go. I am no longer allowed to be selfish after all.

His eyes meet mine. Sapphire on teal. You will shine brightly under the golden sun. You will belong to someone else. You cannot belong to me.

It's Len who speaks up first. His voice is a soft whisper. "Miku. I don't want to let go…."

A pause. "You don't want to let go either, do you?"

Frantically, I shake my head no. "Len. This has to end."

Looking at me, he says the truth that I've failed to destroy. "But you don't want this to end."

Tears well up in my eyes. There is little strength to my voice. "But it...it must. I….I'll taint you with this ugliness of mine. I'll ruin you. Len **please**, set me free."

In the darkness, a voice full of conviction declares, "No. If my love is what binds you to me, then I'll never stop. Stay here. Right next to me, just like this. I don't care if you'll ruin me. Ruin me with all of your might. Corrupt me so that I can never leave. Make it so that I am forever bound to you…..and you to me."

He is closer now. Too close. His breath burns my cheek, I'm enflamed. His heat assails me and I want. I want so bad. I want to dream. I want to love. I want to be happy. I want Len. I want so much. But I can't have it. I just can't.

Kissing the tears that are slipping down my cheeks, he begs, softly, desperately "Miku. **Say it**. Give me permission. Tell me to break my promise. It can only be you."

His hands cup my cheeks. Our foreheads touch and his eyes burn into mine. Shivers rack my body and my legs threaten to give out. I can't run. I can't hide. My eyes betray everything. Mama. Papa. Gakupo. Please forgive me. I will now ruin another life. I love him. I'll taint him. He'll kill me. But just for a little while, I will continue this beautiful dream. If love is a chain, then I'll wear it for just a little bit longer. I will be happy for just a little bit more.

In the darkness, a sinful voice declares, "Break it."

But what is 'it'? Me? Him? His promise? Everything we hold dear? I am sure that I will find out soon enough.

But now? Now, nothing matters. I refuse to think for a second longer. Once again, my lips have been caught. And this time, I know what to do.

* * *

**Wahhhhhh! I did it! I finally wrote this chapter! I wrote and rewrote this so many times and now my feels are just everywhere...but nevertheless, this was such a fun chapter to write (even though it is really long -_-) Well, I hope you guys enjoyed it! ^^ I know I enjoyed writing it. Until next time!**

**Love, Sunset**

**P.S. I love reading reviews :p**


	9. Memory: Delete

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Vocaloid in any way, shape of form.

~0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o~

It's funny. My ceiling hasn't changed. It looks just like it did yesterday. It's ugly and uneven. It's pocketed with holes and water stains stretch across its expanse, webbing out in crooked branches. It is still the same ceiling I see every morning.

And yet, nothing is the same. Every day, I wake up, I stare at this ceiling, I go shopping, I report to Sir for some reason and then I go home to sleep. It's supposed to be a neverending cycle. And now, thanks to Len, it's not. I don't know what to think, what to feel. Happy? Grateful? Excited? Worried? Stressed? I don't know. I just don't know. What would one normally do in a situation such as this? Is there even an answer?

A sigh blows through my lips. Closing my eyes, fragments of last night's kiss waft up.

_His hands slowly caressing my cheeks. _

_His hands tangled deep in my hair._

_My arms wound tight on his shoulders._

_My legs wrapped around his waist._

_The feeling of his chest on mine. _

_The feeling of his lips of mine._

_My inability to breathe._

_His scent._

_His heat. _

_The strength hidden in his arms. _

_My body crushed against his, the tree behind me._

_The raging fire that burns through us both._

_The frigid air and the inky night that covered us both._

_Then, the ring that destroys everything. A few feet from us, hidden in the depths of my discarded cloak shrieked a phone that refused to be ignored. _

_I remember. For a moment, I thought of simply letting it ring, didn't I? I thought of letting the dream continue for a little while longer. But even then, in those moments of pure bliss, I remembered what would happen if I ignored that call, if I disobeyed that voice. With his lips locked on mine, I shivered in fear, of the punishment to come. It was that fear that gave me the power to push away and break one into two. It was fear that gave me the will to wake up._

_I remember Len staring at me, confusion coloring his eyes. With a trembling arm, I pointed to the source of the intruding sound, a desolate "Please" marked the heated air._

_Even then, he understood the danger of the situation. Nodding his head, he gently set me down, knowing full well that my legs were worthless at that moment. With startling speed, he dashed off toward my cloak and searched through my pockets with expert ease. Grabbing the black device, he threw it in my direction, knowing that I would be able to catch it. _

_Plucking the phone out of the air, I breathlessly answered, "Yes?"_

_From the other side of the phone line, an angry voice roared. "MIKU! WHAT TOOK YOU SO FUCKING LONG TO ANSWER YOUR PHONE!?"_

_With a forced calmness, I replied, "I'm sorry Sir. I was in the bathroom."_

_"Well next time, take the fucking phone in there with you! This will not happen again, __**do you understand**__?"_

_Repressing a sigh, I replied, "Yes Sir. I understand perfectly."_

_"Good. Now I want you here by 1:30." And like usual, he hung up. _

**I guess some things really don't change.**

_I remember. Len was on his haunches, looking at me with a worried look in his eyes. In a soft voice, he asked, "Everything alright?"_

_For once, I was honest._ **Why was I honest?** _I shook my head no. Everything was not alright. Rubbing my head gently, he undid the messy bun on my head, letting my hair flow down in waves._

_He asked, "Would you like me to take you home?"_

_Once again, I shook my head no. With that, Len reached over for my cloak. Wrapping it around my shoulders and securing it in place, he whispered, "Tomorrow. Noon. At the central fountain." Nodding my head, I pushed off the ground, rushing off into the darkness._

That was all a dream right? That's all I'm remembering: a dream. Surely, it was only that, right? I'm awake now. My ceiling hasn't changed. Therefore, my life hasn't changed.

But there on the table is a new box full of 7.62x66mm bullets, given to me by Sir just this morning. There on the table, only a couple inches away from the bullets, lie a small pile of stole goods. And there, sitting regally in the center is the blue and grey hair ornament given to me by Len.

What is real? What isn't real? Bullets? What bullets? I don't see any bullets. All I see are the remnants of a dream. Evidence. It's all evidence. I am currently asleep. The dream continues on.

* * *

_I wonder, what will happen when my reality and dreams crash together? Will I be left alive at the end of it? I wonder. But I am sure that I will find out soon enough. But no matter. I know this will all end soon. So let what happens, happen. Today, I have a date. Today, I will dream once again._

* * *

Heading towards Kaito's stall for breakfast, my twin tails swing happily with every step I take. I hum a simple tune to their beat. I can't help it. My heart feels so light, it's as if it could sprout wings and fly off any moment now. Is this what it means to be in love? What a careless sensation. And yet, I can't find the will to care. Oh, the irony.

From the distance, I can see the alluring blue hair that belongs to only one person. Making my way to the counter, I open up my mouth to order one of his cheaper meals, since I'm a bit low on money. But it's Kaito's worried voice that speaks up first. "Hey, are you okay?!"

Puzzled, I look at him. Ok? Why wouldn't I be ok? I feel great, actually. So why wouldn't I be anything but ok?

Oh. I remember now. I ran away from Len yesterday. Kaito was there too, wasn't he? Yes. He was.

Smiling brightly, I tell him, "Oh yes. I'm just fine. It was all just a misunderstanding."

Kaito flashes me a skeptical look. "Are you sure about that? You're not in any trouble, are you? That blonde guy looked like trouble….Are you sure you don't need any help?"

A giggle bursts through my lips. Laughing lightly, I reassure Kaito. "Kaito, everything is ok. Really. I'm not in any trouble at all. I'm fine."

Looking at me seriously, he says, "You do know that anytime you need help, I'll be there for you, right?"

My giggles die on my lips and I smile gratefully. "Yes. I'll be sure to remember that…." Too bad I'll never be able to take him up on his offer… "Now, as for my order, I'll take….the F meal today."

Surprised, Kaito asks, "Really? Don't you usually prefer the B or C meal?"

Embarrassed, I explain, "Well…yeah….but I'm a bit low on money today. But I'm sure it'll be fine! All of your meals taste wonderful!"

Frowning, Kaito takes the money from my hand. But instead of giving me the meal I asked for, he hands me a B meal instead.

I open my mouth to note out the obvious misorder but once again, his voice beats me. In his eyes, there's that look again. The one I don't recognize. With those eyes, he says, "It's ok. Call it an exclusive bargain, if you will….Now shoo. Don't you have some shopping to do?"

Slowly nodding my head, I thank him. With a wave, I tell him, "See you tomorrow." At those words, Kaito looks at me in absolute shock. Ah. That's right. I've never told him those words before, have I? It seems that my life has been more impacted by that beautiful thief than I originally thought.

For a moment, I stand at the edge of the crowd. I should stop deviating from what I normally do. But then again, this is a dream, right? Plus, wouldn't it be more fun to do my shopping with Len? I think so. From the position of the sun, it seems that I still have some time before noon….I'm sure I can sit down to eat today…. And with that, I turn around and settle down in a small table in a secluded corner to do just that.

From a couple feet away, I feel Kaito's eyes on me, assessing the deviations from my usual actions. His stare on my back burns and its becoming harder by the moment to continue pretending that nothing is happening.

Gazing out into the crowd, I spot a golden head that shines with the sunlight. Coincidentally, at that moment, the golden head turns in my direction and catches my stare, eyes widening in surprise. Those sapphire orbs glow with joy and they're already heading this way, pushing through the thick mass of the crowd. On my face, an idiotic smile has bloomed.

As he makes his way over to my table, the eyes on my back lift, refocusing elsewhere. Replacing my smile with something a bit more controlled, I greet the boy headed towards me. "Morning, Len."

Pressing a light kiss to the side of my head, he answers, "Good Morning, Miku." The eyes are focused on me once again, their intensity burning a thousand times brighter than they did before. It sends uncomfortable tingles through my skin and it's getting harder to resist the urge to turn around and stare right back.

Focusing my attention on Len, I ask, "What are you doing here so early? I thought we were to meet at noon?"

With a shameless smile, he replies, "People tend to have their guards down early in the morning…"

Between bites, I answer, "Oh really? I'll make sure to keep that in mind in case I ever need to steal something."

A comfortable silence settles between us but as I'm finishing my food, Len finally brings himself to ask, "Ummmm…..Miku? Do you know why that guy is staring at us?"

Len doesn't have to specify who he's talking about because it is _that_ obvious. "Ah. That's my friend Kaito. He's just worried I think. I'll introduce you two when I'm done…...and….um….could you kind of not mention my name around him?"

"Why not?"

Nervously, I stammer, "Cause….well….um….you're kind of the only one who's ever addressed me by a name…and I don't think….it'd be a good idea….to let him know you have that privilege….when he doesn't…"

A smirk takes over Len's face. From the way he leans back into his chair, I can tell he's pleased. "Very well….I guess I could do you that favor…." Reaching into his pocket, he continues, "And for being such a good girl, I got you a present."

From his pocket, he produces a pair of simple black rimmed glasses and places them gently on my face. That's right. How long has it been since I've actually worn glasses? Panic spikes in my heart. How much attention have I attracted with these flashy eyes of mine? How many people have I carelessly allowed to remember me? How stupid of me! Dangerous. This is becoming dangerous! I – I-

"Miku."

A forceful voice releases me from my thoughts. My eyes refocus through the fake lens of the glasses and as they do, they collide with Len's, freezing me in place. His hand is on my cheek. Earnestly, he says, "It'll be ok. I know that you really don't like to stand out. I won't do what I did yesterday. I'll protect you. I'll keep you safe. So don't worry, ok?"

How? How does he know? When did I ever let him know? When did he figure me out? Are my intentions that obvious? Am I that see-through? What else does he know? What else will he learn? I'm scared. Gakupo, I'm scared. Can I really trust him? His words, his promises? Can these hands really keep me safe? I'm scared to find out otherwise. One day, his promises will become lies, won't they? I don't want to see that day. Please. Don't let me see that day.

But yes. Everything will be ok. Everything will be ok. Because this is a dream. A beautiful dream. This dream won't hurt me. In this dream, I will be happy. I will continue to cover my eyes and wear this chain called love.

The only thing to fear is waking up.

Nodding my head, I take my last bite. Getting up from my seat, I clear away my garbage before offering my hand to Len. He smiles in delight at the gesture and together, we head over to Kaito.

Kaito watches us approach hand in hand. When we're close enough, I try to start the introductions but once again, Kaito is quick to beat me. "Miku, you're wearing glasses again…."

Startled, I reply, "Ah, yeah. I lost my old pair a while back and I've been trying to save up for a new pair….but now I don't need to. This guy over here gave me a pair. Sweet, right? So Kaito, I want you to meet Len. Len, this is my friend, Kaito."

Len smiles pleasantly and says, "Pleasure to meet you."

Gruffly, almost reluctantly, Kaito answers, "Same to you." Silently, he regards the two of us, how close to one another we stand, my hand in Len's. For some reason, Kaito seems….mad. But it's something a little more intense than just mad. There's something else mixed in there….

When he speaks again, his voice sounds strained, as if he's holding back….something. "What is the relationship between you two?"

The question catches me off guard. I don't know what we are. I look up at Len with big eyes. _What are we? Do you know? _We aren't friends. Friends don't kiss and go on dates and hold hands. But we aren't lovers, are we? This is something delicate and temporary, a figment of my imagination. Could we really call a relationship like this to be the same as 'lovers'? I don't think so. Then…..what are we?

It's Len who answers. "What does it matter to _you_?"

"Everything." In a low voice, Kaito says, "I don't trust you a single bit. You reek of trouble and it'll only be too easy for you to hurt her. Give me one reason I shouldn't hand you over to the cops this second, you miserable thief."

In a confident voice, Len answers, "It's simple. I love Miku and Miku loves me. I am bound to her just like she is bound to me. There is no other way to explain our relationship." Then, the air chills between us and a dangerous light glows in Len's eyes. "Now do us all a favor and stop this petty jealousness of yours before I really get irritated….."

Shock crosses Kaito's face. That is not the answer he wanted to hear. But what comes out of his mouth is, "Miku?"

Len answers for me, a harsh tone ringing his voice. "Ah that's right, you don't even know her name, do you?"

A pained look crosses Kaito's face. He has no answer for that.

With forced calmness, I try to fix the situation, "Len, shhhh. Kaito, don't worry about it….He's lying. Len doesn't know my name either and Miku is not my real name. Len….simply named me because he didn't want to keep calling me 'you'….that's all…."

Kaito merely nods his head but he doesn't look all that convinced. Does he believe my lie? Tugging on my hand, Len says, "Well, it's time for Miku and I to go. It was _so_ nice meeting you. I'll see you tomorrow, yeah?"

Kaito doesn't say a thing. There is nothing to say. Quietly, I lift a hand for a small wave goodbye before disappearing with Len into the crowd.

Minutes pass and once Kaito's stall is far behind us, Len winks at me and says, "Well aren't you the devious liar, spouting out all of those untruths on the spot. You may call me dangerous but you're just as dangerous yourself, aren't you?

Huffing at him, I say, "Hush. _Some_ of us have to get by somehow."

Raising his eyebrows at me, Len retorts, "Well now you're just throwing my words back at me."

Pointedly, I reply, "Well maybe I wouldn't have to if **someone** kept quiet about my supposed 'name'."

Guilt flashes in Len's eyes. "Oh….yeah….about that…."

"Uh-huh." Irritation marks my voice. "You owe me. That means you must get me a non-stolen good."

Shock and displeasure takes over Len's face. "Aw. Come on Miku! Seriously? We both know that Miku is actually your real name…."

It's a struggle to keep the shock off my face. He knows. How does he know? Dangerous. I may be dangerous but this boy must certainly be a thousand times more dangerous than I. This needs to end. I don't want this to end. I should wake up. I don't want to wake up.

In a stiff voice, I reply, "It doesn't matter if it's a fake name or not. You promised, and you broke that promise. Therefore you bought this upon yourself. Tell me. Didn't you say that you would protect me? That you'd keep me safe? Keeping my name, fake or not, unknown is part of the deal. Tell me. Are your promises turning into lies already?"

A pained look crosses Len's face. He now realizes his mistake. A silence settles between us as Len struggles to think of a solution, of words to make things better. Do such words exist?

We walk in silence for some time more. Then I see our solution. In order for this dream to continue, I must pretend that what just happened never did. In this dream where every moment is beautiful, an imperfect moment such as this cannot exist. Therefore, I will delete it from memory. Now his promise never became a lie. Yes. That is my truth now.

Pointing a finger, I sweetly ask Len, "Hey, Len. Do you think you could buy me a leek from that stall over there? I haven't had one in forever and now I have a craving for one." With big eyes, I tilt my head ever so slightly and beg. "Please Len?"

For a moment, Len just looks at me. He's trying to figure out the secrets hidden deep within me. Can he see them? I'm scared. He'll figure me out someday, won't he? But it will be ok. This dream will have ended before that ever happens.

Walking towards the leek stand, Len gently teases me. "You know Miku. Most girls ask for flowers or jewelry. I think you're definitely the first one to beg for a leek…."

* * *

_"You know Miku. Most children ask for candy or toys. I think you're definitely the first one to beg for a leek…."_

* * *

Mama said something like that long ago. How? How did he know? Coincidence? Yes. That's what it is. It's only a coincidence….

My voice speaks up. "Well, if you want me to ask for something more expensive, then, well….."

"NO! No. It's fine. Really. It's just an unusual choice is all…."

"Well, you can hardly call me ordinary, now can you?"

Len chuckles at that. "Yes. You're certainly right on that point. Now can you do me a favor? Can you wait here?"

We are now a couple stands away from the leek stall. Shooting him a skeptic look, my eyes say everything. Smiling gently, he says, "Look. I know what you're thinking. And don't worry. I'm going to keep my promise this time. I won't steal it. You'll see." With that, he heads over to the leek stall on his own.

I don't understand. When did he ever break a promise to me? What does he mean by 'this time'? Unimportant words. Yes. That's what they are. Unimportant words. Such words don't need to be remembered.

Watching Len approach the leek stand, I notice that the stand belongs to a young woman. She is a tall beauty with pure and unblemished skin. Perfect and generous curves, long legs, a delicate face. Crystal blue eyes and flowing pink hair. She is the beauty that I am not. As Len stands next to her, I notice that her height is one that complements Len's. They look perfect together.

The sight of them together, standing side by side releases an odd fury within me. An invisible hand reaches into my chest, strangling my heart. I don't like this. I don't like this one bit. They are talking; it's just a simple conversation. Nothing more.

She is laughing. Even from where I stand, I can hear her laugh, a simple and pure sound. The hand around my heart tightens, it's running out of air. Len's hand is on her face. He's brushing a hair from her eye. Nothing else. Nothing else. He's being nice. It's fine. It's fine.

Len's lips are on hers. Something burns through me. This is….this is….this is what? I don't know. I don't know. I can't breathe. I can't breathe. I don't like this. Can someone please explain this to me? My hands shake. I force myself to stay where I am.

Len's lips lift from hers. A seductive smile. A shy smile. Len points to something beyond the beauty and she simply reaches over and places it gently in Len's hands. Her fingers linger. One second. Two seconds. Three. Seconds too long.

With a small wave goodbye and a wink, Len heads back this way. One step closer. Two steps closer. Three. Four. And a thousand more.

He's here. He's so close. Everything will be better now, won't it? Proudly, he hands over his prize. His lips are tinged pink. With a huge smile, he proclaims, "Here you go Miku. One non-stolen leek."

Gingerly, I take the leek from his hands. I have no appetite to eat. Looking at it carefully, I impulsively toss it out into the crowd where it is immediately crushed underfoot. **_I don't want that._** A shocked look crosses his face but I don't allow him to speak. Resting a hand on his shoulder, I push myself onto the tips of my toes. With my free hand, I reach forward and lightly touch his lips, those beautiful sinful lips, fingertips fluttering lightly. He looks at them, confused and enraptured. At the distraction, I take that moment to ball my hand into a fist and rub roughly, scrubbing off all of the intrusive germs, any mark of _her_.

In response, he grabs me by the wrists and holds me tightly. I can't escape. Please. Don't let me go.

Angry, Len stares straight into my eyes. "Miku. What the hell is going on?"

I don't know. I don't know what is going on. I thought you would know. In frustration, tears well up and spill over. Isn't my heart dead yet? Why am I in so much pain? Why is this happening? Could someone please tell me?

It seems my mouth is smarter than my brain because it says, "I thought you were mine. You **are** mine, aren't you? Isn't that what it means to be bound? And so, if you are mine, then why are you choosing to bind yourself to someone else? Tell me. Am I still yours?"

With my words, the hard look in Len's eyes soften. Slowly, he pulls me closer. Wrapping me in a hug, he tells me my truth, the one I did not know. "Miku. You're jealous, aren't you?"

Is that what this is? "Jealous?"

"Yeah. Jealous." A soft laugh flows gently out of his lips. "This is a first for you, isn't it? You've never been jealous before, have you? I have to admit, this is actually pretty cute."

In his chest, I tell him the truth that he probably already knows. "I don't like this feeling. It's uncomfortable. It's hard to think. It's hard to breathe and it's like someone is strangling my heart. "

Len sighs lightly above me. "Yeah, it's a pretty sucky feeling, isn't it? I'm not really a fan of the sensation either. So let me make you a new promise. From now on, when I'm with you, the only one I'll intimately touch is you. No one else. Would that be ok?"

"That will do."

Yes. Everything will be better now, won't it? I will be safe here, in Len's arms. Len will keep his promise. Nothing will ever strangle my heart again. Therefore, this imperfect moment doesn't need to be remembered. After all, this is a dream. And only happy things happen in dreams, right?


	10. Delusions and Innocence

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Vocaloid or any incorporated quotes in any way, shape of form.

~0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o~

_"Sir, I've completed tonight's job."_

_Like usual, he doesn't look up at me. After all, I am not that important. I know this. He knows this. I am merely a pawn for him to use, something that is useful but can still be thrown away at any time. No that's a lie. I am something lower than that, aren't I? Because if you think about it, even pawns have choices. What choices do I hold? (None.) But it's fine. This life is all I have, my fate unbreakable. I will never break free and **that** is my unchangeable truth._

_Calmly, he asks, "Did you run into any trouble?"_

_"No Sir. None at all."_

_Still engrossed in whatever he is doing, Sir doesn't bother to look up at me. The most he does is nod his head in approval. _

_"Very good Miku. That's my girl." Like usual, he throws a small pile of money in my direction. The small wad lands in my hands and without a thought, I stuff the wad into my pocket._

_Obediently__, I wait for his words of dismissal...but they never come. Seconds tick by on the old clock above the door. The sound resonates in the room, echoing in the small space. _

_Tik. Tok. Tik. Tok. Tik. Tok. Tik. Tok. Tik. Tok. Tik. Tok. __Tik. Tok. Tik. Tok. Tik. Tok. Tik. Tok. Tik. Tok. Tik. Tok. __Tik. Tok. Tik. Tok. Tik. Tok. Tik. _

_This is odd. Really odd indeed. Usually, Sir dismisses me as soon as he is done talking to me. On most nights, he sees me as nothing more than a waste of space in the small room he calls his office. So why is he delaying today? I wish to question this but years of experience have taught me to keep my questions to an absolute minimum. Finally, for what seems like hours, he looks up at me. _

_His steely gray eyes meet mine and an uncomfortable shiver travels up my spine. The scar on his face seems to be squirming with the slightest of movements and a sickening sensation wraps around my bod, tightening its hold on me by the millisecond. It's getting hard to breathe. But even with his eyes on mine, I stay strong. My gaze meets his head on and I control the tremor that threatens to rock my body. _

_Softly, slowly, cautiously, I ask, "Is something the matter Sir?"_

_He regards me silently before speaking. In a cryptic voice, he replies, "I don't know Miku. __**Is**__ something the matter?"_

_Neutrally, I answer, "Not that I know of Sir."_

_"Are you sure? Nothing's changed?"_

_Confusion tinges my voice. "In my life? No. Nothing has changed."_

_This time, a sliver of irritation marks his tone. "Miku. Are you lying? Are you holding something back from me? You do realize that it'd be pointless to hide __**anything**__ from me, don't you?"_

_Now I really am confused. "But Sir….I'm not lying. Nothing has changed in my life. Why would anything ever change?"_

_"Yes. Why? Why would something change? Tell me Miku."_

_"I...I don't know..."_

_An uncomfortable silence settles between us as Sir continues to regard me. His eyes slowly crawl up and down my body, trying to gauge my body language before settling his eyes on my eyes once again. It's as if he's trying to find my secrets hidden deep within. But I don't understand. He knows my secrets. He knows what I fear, what I despise, what I hide from the rest of the world. So why bother? It's not as if he will find anything new. And even if there was, I doubt he'd find them. Only *** holds that power. Wait. Who?_

_Satisfied for the moment, he barks out, "Leave."_

_He doesn't have to tell me twice._

* * *

**_"One night, Zhuang Zhou dreamt he was a butterfly. He was a happily fluttering butterfly. It was so much fun. He could fly wherever he wanted. And he had no thought of being Zhou, but suddenly he woke up, and was startled to find that he was now Zhou. He couldn't decide: Was he Zhou who'd dreamt he was a butterfly or a butterfly now dreaming he was Zhou?"_**

* * *

Am I awake? Or am I still asleep? Is this reality or a delusion? It's getting harder and harder to tell. But I don't mind. No, I don't mind a single bit. In this space between delusion and reality, the world sparkles and glows. In this space between truths and lies, the beauty of the world kisses my cheeks and showers me with love and happiness. Why would I ever want to leave?

Dressed in my usual grey dress, I skip over to my closet, my twin tails happily swinging along. Reaching into my closet, I pull out my shoes and reach for my lighter cloak, one more suitable for the warming weather. And as I do, I catch sight of my work cloak, hidden in the deepest corner of the closet. I reach out and finger the inky black material, rubbing it slowly between my fingers. I wonder. When was the last time I've worn this? How long has it been since Sir has called me? Have I done any jobs at all recently?

For some reason, I can't remember. I try to search my mind, the hidden depths of my memories. I know the answer is there. I know it is because it **has** to be. Where else would it be? But somehow, the answer manages to continuously evade my fingertips, dancing further and further away with each passing day. Maybe this is a sign. Maybe I should stop reaching. Maybe some truths aren't meant to be remembered.

I turn around to check if it's still there. Yes. It still is.

There, next to my growing collection of stolen goods lies a fresh wad of money, crisp and bound. Evidence. Pure evidence. It was not there last night and yet, here it is today, sitting among my goods as if it naturally belongs there. Such an odd phenomenon has happened yesterday and the day before that and days before that. Every morning, I grab the waiting money to spend on my daily necessities and maybe a snack for Len. And every next day, a fresh pile reappears, ready to be used once again. I have been working recently. That much is clear. But why don't I remember?

Ah. But does it even matter? Does it matter whether I remember how I've obtained my money night after night?

No. It does not. It doesn't matter at all. How I've obtained my money hasn't changed in the past eight years. Why would it change now? It's not like I'm suited for anything else...

**Enough of this!** Why search for something that wishes to stay concealed? I know. Certain truths should just stay hidden from sight. I hear they're easier to handle that way.

Snatching the money from the table, I slip the bound bills into my dress pocket and head over to the door. It's almost time to meet Len.

* * *

Ever since Len met Kaito, the friendship between Kaito and I has been slightly awkward. Our interactions aren't as carefree as before and our jokes have run dry. Not only that but Kaito always seems to be watching me and Len when he arrives. His eyes always seem to be on my back and even now it makes me uncomfortable.

Ever since that day, I've been trying to identify that unrecognizable look in his eyes. I feel like I'm close to the answer but I'm just not there yet. I know now that there is jealousy marking those blue eyes along with worry and contempt. But there's something else in them. Something important. Is it curiosity? Is it desolation? Is it longing? Maybe it is long...but a longing for what? Maybe I'll figure it out tomorrow.

I readjust my focus to the gorgeous boy sitting in front of me. With his head in one hand, he looks out lazily into the crowd, probably picking out potential victims. The fine strands of his hair shine with the odd ray of sunlight peeking through and I want to do nothing more than to run my fingers through that deliciously soft hair, to kiss the fine strands. But I hold back. It's too early for such actions.

My eye trails down to his free hand. Today, a single finger taps on our wooden table. It's a beat that sounds familiar and recent. "Hey Len?"

At the sound of my voice, his finger stops. Turning towards me, a content smile grows, sitting lazily on his face. "What is it Miku?"

"What your finger was tapping out…why does it sound familiar?"

For a moment, Len appears to be confused, as if he doesn't know what I'm talking about. He stares at his finger, as if it holds all the answers. And maybe it does because after a moment, he replies, "Oh. It's a song that I've heard floating around recently. It's been strangely popular recently. I don't know the name of it but…."

"Yes! That's why the beat seemed so familiar. I believe that I've heard it recently as well. It's such a pretty song, no?"

"Yeah…it sure is…." Suddenly, Len's eyes light up. They seem excited. Excited for what? "Hey, Miku, why don't you sing it for me? I'd love to hear you sing again…."

The food traveling down my throat lodges in place and I choke out in surprise. "You want me to **_what_**?"

Eagerly, he replies, "Sing. I would like you to sing for me. You have such a beautiful voice….please? Sing the song for me?"

He stares me down, and as he does, he widens his eyes, allowing them to waver with emotion. The effect allows him to resemble a small begging animal, something that I've always found hard to resist.

Turning my eyes away from his, I say, "Not here. I don't want to attract attention."

Those beautiful blue orbs shine even brighter with childlike joy and excitedly, he says, "That's no problem at all! Why would I want to share you with everyone else anyways? I actually know just the place. I've found it the other day and I've been meaning to show it to you. We can go after you finish eating!"

With a final bite, I tell him, "You do know I still have to go shopping, right?"

"Oh come on Miku! Pleeeeeaaaaassssseeee? Just for a little while? We can always go shopping later." I feel the full intensity of his eyes on my skin. I know what I need to do but it seems that even I can't resist those poisonous eyes.

With a sigh, I give in. "Very well. But only _that_ song and only for a little while. Yes?"

Len's not even in his chair anymore. He's already cleared away my remains and he stands impatiently by my side, hand held out.

Shaking my head, I reach out and grab onto the waiting hand. This side of Len is cute too.

* * *

With expert ease, Len navigates us out of the market place and towards the southern end of the west blok. Together, we pass smaller market areas and various residential areas. It's a busy day and there are many people moving about. The streets are packed with shoppers, those on errands/deliveries or simply children running about. But Len moves away from the crowds, leading us deep into the residential area and somewhere further still. Before I know it, we are climbing a steel hill. The climb forces a slight burden on my legs but it's nothing I can't handle. I've faced tougher climbs.

Five minutes later, we are at the top, slightly out of breath. Looking up to the pure blue sky, I stretch out my arms and greet the sun, it's rays warming my face. _What a beautiful day._ From beside me, Len laughs at my actions. With a sideways glance, he says, "You're looking in the wrong direction Miku….."

Rolling my eyes at him, I turn my head so that I am looking straight ahead of me. And what I see causes a small gasp to escape my lips. We are on a field of some sort. It's an open piece of land without a single tree in sight. But instead of green grass, all I can see is a huge expanse of white puffer flowers; it's a field of wishes and innocence.

A voice filled with awe speaks. "I've – I've never seen so many in one place."

"Yeah." Len's voice has a nogalistic tone to it and for a moment, he becomes a different Len, one I didn't know, one that has been once abandoned. "You know, me, my sister and my mom used to wish on these. We all would go on walks together and every time my sister and I found one, we'd fight over who'd get to make the wish….."

"Heh. I never had that problem. Since I'm an only child, I've always had the wishing rights."

Len raises an eyebrow at me. "What, are you rubbing it in or something?"

Rocking back and forth on my heels, I tell him with a teasing smile, "Mayyyyybee…"

For one moment, he just frowns at me. Then in the next, he dashes out, leaping out into the air only to land and disappear within the sea of puffer flowers. With his landing, thousands of flurries burst and kiss the air. In bunches, they waft about, dancing, flying and twirling with the air. Seconds later, Len snaps up like a whip. Flurries are nestled into his hair, his eyelashes, his eyebrows, his clothes. Now he really does look like some sort of small and fuzzy animal.

Overjoyed, he looks at me and exclaims, "Miku! Did you just see that?!"

Giggling at him, I tell him, "Yes Len. I saw."

A mischievous glint twinkles in his eyes. "You try it too."

Smiling, I shake my head no. "Sorry. But the last time I checked, the ground is hard and unforgiving." Much like the world. "So thanks, but no thanks. I think I'll just stay here…."

Len eyes rest on mine for a moment. I wonder. Will he unlock the door to my secrets once again? What will he learn this time?

Unexpectedly, he flops back into the earth, arms and legs splayed out. With slow whimsical movements, he waves his arms and legs back and forth, back and forth. From his actions, more flurries fly up into the air and with the wind they fan out, filling the air with their presence. With an airy voice, Len says, "Miku. You should try this. From the here, the world looks white and beautiful. From here, it's easy to pretend that the world isn't as fucked-up as it actually is." He turns his head to the side. And even amidst the grass and bald flowers, his sapphire eyes shine and meet up with mine. "Hey Miku. Won't you make a wish with me?"

With those words, a shiver runs through me. And before I can regret it, I run out and leap into the air. In those seconds that I am air born, I am free. There is only me, the endless blue sky and innocence. Nothing can hurt me. Nothing can cause me pain. For the shortest of seconds, I am finally, impossibly, **free**.

When my body crashes into the ground, there is that smallest sense of loss. And it's funny – how can you miss something that you never really had? It makes absolutely no sense at all. And yet, somehow, it does. I finally understand. This is what it feels like to grasp for something and to have it slip through your fingers, unattained. This is what it feels like to _hope_, to _dream_. Wow. They're such bittersweet emotions, aren't they? I never knew.

But as the sky fills with dancing flurries, I can't help but smile. How beautiful. How glorious! It seems that even I, this wretched sinner, is capable of more than just tainting the world. It seems that even a person like I can give back just the smallest bits of innocence. Once again, he is right. Surrounded in a world of innocence and wishes, the world does seem oddly beautiful. From here, under a sky of flurries, the world doesn't seem so hard and unforgiving.

My, what a strange place we live in, this ugly yet beautiful world.

From beside me, Len speaks softly, as if afraid to ruin this fragile wonder we've found ourselves in. "Miku, sing. Grace me with the sound of your voice. Purify this world with the voice of an angel."

He speaks as if I am something pure and holy. Doesn't he know that I am anything but pure and holy? Doesn't he know that I am the monster that continuously taints and corrupts this that world that we live in? But for once, I don't question his wording, the truth that just may be a lie. For once, for the first time, in a long time, I simply open my mouth and let my voice soar.

The sound resounds through this field of wishes, traveling with the wind, the flurries. As I sing, Len's hand reaches out and grasps my hand tightly in his. Together, we look up at a sky filled with innocence.

Free. My voice is free. Freedom - this is what it feels like, even with my feet on the ground. In the field where only my song can be heard, it all seems possible. With Len's hand in mine, it all seems attainable. Together, side by side, I fall deeper into the dream. I'm drowning in this love, aren't I? _Oh, what a wonderful sensation it is._

When the song ends, we are quiet for a long time. We simply lay there in the field for who knows how long, soaking in the sun and watching the puffer flowers sway and burst with each passing breeze.

Then unexpectedly, Len rolls over me, wrapping me in his strong arms and continues to roll until it is I lies on top of him. He doesn't say a thing. He runs a hand slowly through one of my twin tails, bringing the end towards his lips. With cool eyes, he kisses the tip of my hair and an electric current runs through me. The air between us goes still. With his free hand, he reaches over and grabs a pair of intact puffer flowers, one for me, one for him. A voice faintly asks, "Make a wish with me?" Nodding, I take the flower meant for me and together we wish with the innocence that still resides in our hearts.

_I wish for this dream to last forever. _

As I wish, I watch Len's lips purse and blow. His breath tickles my face and the flurries scatter between us. In that maze of white, I reach out a single fingertip. Laying it delicately on Len's lips, I run it lightly over the surface, his eyes locked on mine. Effortlessly, he rolls over so that he is on top. His form blocks the sun. But it's ok. He is the only sun I need. His hand caresses my cheek, a fingertip brushes my eyelashes. Close. He's so close. But he's not close enough. Tilting my head up, my lips meet his, melting in and becoming one. His breath is my breath. I don't need anything else to live, not in this world. My legs lift and wrap around his waist, pulling him to me closer still. My hands reach up and my fingers dig deep into his hair, kissing the deliciously soft strands. My greedy digits cry out in joy at the touch.

Yes. Here in this space of temporary love and stolen kisses is where I wish to be. There is no other place better than this.


	11. Perfection and Truth

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Vocaloid in any way, shape of form.

~0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o~

_Once again, Sir is holding me back from leaving. This has been happening a lot recently and I don't understand why. Why does Sir feel the need to question me every night? Why is he asking the same questions over and over? Why is he so suspicious of me? I simply don't understand._

_"Miku….is there something you're not telling me?"_

_Again with this question. I wonder, how many times will I have to respond to the same exact question practically every night? It's not as if my answer ever changes. Will this also become a normal part of my life? I hope not._

_Just what does he want? What answer is he searching for? Is he looking for a truth that I don't know? Maybe I should change up my answer. Would that work?_

_With nonchalant words, I say, "Well Sir, you could say that there's plenty I'm not telling you. But then again, what would be the point of reporting every single part of my life to you? I know you have eyes throughout this entire city. I know that you know everything that goes on in my life. I know that it'd be pointless to hide anything from you. So shouldn't you already know that nothing has changed? What happened yesterday has happened today. What happened today will happen tomorrow. And that is how it will always continue on." Wow…even I can hear the subtle bitterness marking my voice. I guess I have still yet to accept my fate…._

_Tilting my head to the side ever so slightly, I continue on. Maybe pride will cause him to give up…. "Sir?…..Is there is something going on that is forcing you to think otherwise?"_

_The air between us falls quiet. His steely gaze falls heavily on me and once again, I feel as if he is searching for answers that just aren't there. However, the look on Sir's face is perfectly unreadable so I can't sense the effect of my answer._

_"Tell me Miku….what is your favorite time of day?"_

_Excuse me? "I'm sorry Sir. I don't think I understand your question…"_

_Sir's voice comes out light but his eyes hold a fierce gaze, as if he's waiting for me to fall into some sort of trap. "It's a simple question Miku. What is your favorite time of day?"_

_What sort of odd question is this?! I don't get it! Just what is he trying to accomplish? Is this some sort of trick? A trap? A test? What is the right answer? The wrong answer? Does he even know?_

_My control is slipping. I can feel it. But I won't lose that easily. It'll take much more than _this_ to bring me down. I refuse to let **this man** out of all to see me fail. He may own my life, my future, my past, my fears, my fate and anything else I could be….but he still does not own my everything…..and he knows it. Tilting my chin up, I proclaim, "Night. My favorite time is the night time."_

_Sir merely nods his head, as if he were expecting my answer. "Why?"_

_Another question with an unclear answer. Will this ever end? Is this also part of my neverending cycle? Could someone please clarify? I wish to know. "Why?"_

_"Yes Miku. Why?" His words hold an intonation that is lost on me. What do you want? You can't win everything you know…._

_Fear and defiance battle within me. I don't want to answer. I refuse to lose. What if I say the wrong thing? What if I make him angry? Struggling to keep my face free of struggle, I tell him "Because I like to dream."_

_Sir's eyebrows rise up a notch. That was an answer he was not expecting. With a light nod, he motions for me to continue. Unfortunately for him though, my answer is done. I have no desire to continue or expand on my response._

_Playing stupid, I gaze back with innocent and naïve eyes. His eyes narrow at my silence. Thinly veiled irritation drips from his voice. "What do you dream about Miku?"_

_I 'think' for a moment before revealing the truth that I've always known but never bothered to address. "I don't know Sir. I don't remember them myself. Every time I wake up….I forget. It all becomes a vague blur."_

_His eyes have reduced to slits. He's unsure about the validity of my answer. The sight shoots a burst fear through me. I'm still within my boundaries, right?_

_A slight murmur comes out of his lips. "Does it now?" I wonder if he knows that I'm not lying. But he's supposed to know 'everything', isn't he?_

_Subdued, he proclaims, "You can leave now." And with that, he turns his back on me. I have returned to being an ignored entity._

_I still don't understand. What did he just learn? Did he gain anything at all? Did I lose something after all? _

_I don't want to find out._

* * *

"Hey Miku?"

It's another beautiful day out. It's one of those days where it's warm enough to go outside without a cloak. Like every other day, my hand in Len's swings happily between the two us and the bag of groceries on my left arm is filled to its brink. As per usual, there's an array of stolen goods mixed in courtesy of Len. Today, it's an ebony hair comb, a pair of white hair ribbons, an extra set of black glasses and a small bag of cookies. With this gorgeous thief, my collection on the table grows by the day.

"What is it Len?"

Reaching over with his free hand, he grabs my right twin tail, holding it up to his eyes. He quietly examines my teal locks before finally saying, "Do you know that you still have flurries mixed into your hair?"

A light blush spreads on my cheeks and a sigh pushes through my lips. "_Still_? I never knew flurries were so resilient! Every night for the past week I've been meticulously washing and combing my hair, trying to get them all out. And yet a good thousand still manage to cling on. It's starting to get a bit annoying actually."

Talking to my hair, he says, "Aw, don't say that. You actually look really cute like this, it's like you're a cute little faerie or somethin'. But if it really bothers you that much, why don't you cut your hair a bit? I'm sure it'd make maintenance much easier…."

"**NEVER**." As if I'd sever the last connection I have to Gakupo….

At my forceful response, Len smiles lovingly at me. He lets the twin tail slip slowly out of his hand and it settles messily by my side. "Yeah….I'd thought you'd say that…..don't worry. I don't want you cutting this beautiful long hair of yours either…."

At that, he falls silent for a bit. Glancing over, I note that his eyebrows are scrunched with uncertainty and hesitation. Lightly biting his lip, he struggles to find an answer only he can find. Squeezing his hand lightly, I continue on, not saying a thing.

Still….what an odd dream this is. Isn't everything supposed to be happy in a dream? Are moments like these allowed to exist? But then again….it's not as if he's _un_happy….

"Hey Miku?"

Ah, there's the fountain. Is our shopping trip over already? Hmph. It's still too early for this to end though….Len has something to say after all. A little longer. Surely we can be together for a while longer? After all, why pause the dream unnecessarily early?

Settling on the edge of the fountain, I reply, "Yes Len?"

From here, Len looks so amazingly tall. A ray of sunlight peeks through the tarps above him and with it, his golden hair sparkles and shines. Hmmmm….it kinda looks like a halo from here. I wish my hair could sparkle like that. If it did, would I become less tainted? Would some of my sins wash away? Ah, but that'd be impossible wouldn't it? As if I could glow like an angel…

Looking down, he asks, "What do you think dreams are?"

He doesn't look so tall anymore. I wonder why. But still, what a random question. I wonder what brought it up. "Why do you ask Len?"

He looks up and a light smile rests on his lips. Looking slightly left of my eyes, he replies, "I just wanted to know what you thought…."

The smile isn't reaching his eyes. What I see instead is a silent plea. He's serious. This is an important question to him, isn't it? Hmmm….That's odd. A grey color is tinting the complexion of the skin under his eyes. Is he tired? Has he not been sleeping? Stretching an arm out, I try to reach for that grey tinged skin – but he's too high up and he stubbornly makes no move to come closer. Staring at my arm, he watches it reluctantly fall back down to my side.

Readjusting my bag of groceries against the bottom edge of the fountain, I pretend to search for an answer, even though I already know what it is. After all, who would know about dreams better than I? Looking back up at him once again, I tell him my truth. "Dreams are perfect worlds. Dreams are worlds where every moment is beautiful and happy. In dreams, nothing can hurt you." In dreams, fields of puffer flowers exist. In my dreams, I don't kill a single soul. In this dream, Len is mine and mine only; promises will never become lies. "It's a wonderful place to be in."

That light in Len's eyes dims ever so slightly. That was not the answer he wished for. The sun has moved on and under the shade of the tarps, only his eyes glow. Bright and alluring blue rest on my skin before looking away disappointed. With a low voice, he asks, "Do you really believe that?"

The tone of his voice sends an uncomfortable shiver down my back, faltering the confidence of my answer, "But of course." I don't get it. Dreams can only be perfect worlds. In a dream, everything must be perfect, happy and beautiful. Nothing is allowed to hurt you in a dream, right? If dreams aren't perfect worlds, then what else could they be? How else could this beautiful moment **[but this moment isn't beautiful nor happy…]** exist if it isn't a dream? This dream is the very reason I'm so happy **[but this isn't happiness]** right now, right? What I'm living in right now is the true definition of a "dream", isn't it? **[Is it really?]**

A hollow sound comes out of Len's lips. Pain swirls in those sapphire orbs and the sight sends a knife to my heart **[Len's not happy either…]**. Moments tick by before Len decides to sit in the space next to me. His movements are slow and sluggish. Right now, he looks nothing like the quick and energetic thief he usually is **[his perfection has faded, hasn't it?]**. And just like that, Len tips over and his head plops onto my lap, his hand **[his knuckles are scratched]** resting on my knees. Looking out into the crowd, he makes no effort to move. At the sight of the golden locks **[they've grown too long]** in my lap, my right hand rushes in. My fingers twist and move with the delicate strands **[they're not as soft as before]** before settling on moving in a wide circle. Lightly, gently, around and around. There there Len. There there. At the motion, a light sigh flows out of his lips.

Conflicting emotions swirl within me. Why does this beautiful boy make everything so difficult? The obvious thing to do would be to let this conversation to end and die. This conversation does not need to be acknowledged. This conversation does not need to be remembered. This conversation is not important to this dream of mine. **[This conversation will end the dream.]**

But I want to know. **[Selfish.]** I want to know about this sadness that plagues him. **[You're being selfish.]** And more than anything else, I want to make it better. **[For who?]** This sad Len makes me sad. Everything is much more beautiful when Len is happy with me. After all, it's no good if I'm the only one happy in this dream of mine, right?

Wait – does that even make sense? **[It doesn't.]** If this is my dream, then I can simply will things to be absolutely perfect. **[Does 'perfection' even exist?]** In this dream of mine, everyone is always happy **[what about Kaito?]**; every moment is always beautiful. **[Then what about this moment?]** In dreams, nothing ever hurts. **[Wasn't your heart strangled before?]**

But somehow, this isn't the case. Somehow, it's just not that simple, is it? This moment isn't beautiful. Something is hurting Len. Len isn't happy. Unless….the rules of a dream only apply to the one dreaming? But this dream is no good is Len isn't happy either!

Therefore, in order for things to return to normal, I must continue this conversation, mustn't I? It simply won't do if I merely delete this moment, won't it?** [You'd be better off if you did...]**

But that's not it, is it? **[No, it's not.]** The truth is, I want to know. **[Greedy.]** It's such a greedy wish. Greedy. **[Greedy.]** Greedy. **[Such a greedy girl you are.]** I wonder, is it ok to be selfish in this dream of mine? Does this sensation called love make everyone this stupid?

Gathering my breath, I ask, "Len, what do you think?"

An odd smile sits on his face. It's a mixture of emotions that I just can't place. **[Liar.]** Sadness? Pain? Torment? Regret?

"You know, my mom once said that dreams are delusions created from our wishes, regrets and fears. Sure they can be happy and beautiful. But they can also be cruel and sad. They can be everything you want them to be….and they can be everything you're desperate to forget and ignore. Take it from me when I say that they are more than capable of hurting you. But the one thing a dream never could be is perfect. Dreams aren't perfect because they aren't real. Because they're fake, they lose all rights to 'perfection'."

You're wrong Len. **[Is he?]** You're wrong. You're wrong wrong wrong. **[Is he really?]** This dream of mine will never hurt me. This dream will always happy and beautiful. Cruelty and sadness don't exist in this dream. **[Are you sure?]** This is only temporary. **[You know it's not.]** And if it's not, then it's simply a matter of taking out all of the ugly parts! This dream isn't fake, it's real! **[It's fake.]** Just because it's a dream doesn't mean that it isn't real! **[This isn't real.]** Everything between you and me, it's all real, isn't it?! Therefore, because this is all real, it has every single right to be perfect! **[You know it doesn't.]**

Wait – are dreams actually real? **[You know they aren't.]** Have my dreams in the past been real? Yes **[No]** – they must have been! They must have been! **[They weren't.]** Or else, what would explain everything that's going on? If this dream isn't a dream, then what else would it be? **[A fabricated delusion.]**

"Miku – You're crying."

Blurry sapphire eyes stare up at me. If this isn't a dream, then does that mean that those beautiful orbs don't belong to me after all? **[When did they ever belong to you?]**

A fingertip **[the nail is ragged with dirt shoved under]** reaches out towards me and it slowly swipes a tear rolling down my cheek. If this is a dream, then does that mean that none of this is actually happening? **[Who knows?]**

**[There's dirt built up on the corners of his body. Worn clothes. A flirtatious manner. A sketchy past. You know this isn't perfect. It never was. In this dream, you may have never 'killed' someone but yet, you're still tainted and full of sin. Does that sound like perfection to you? Wouldn't perfection mean that you're as 'tainted' as the boy in your lap? Admit it - ]**

_SHUT UP!_

_SHUT UP! SHUT UP! SHUT UP! SHUT UP! SHUT UP! SHUT UP! SHUT UP! SHUT UP! SHUT UP! SHUT UP! SHUT UP! SHUT UP! SHUT UP! SHUT UP! SHUT UP! SHUT UP! SHUT UP! SHUT UP! SHUT UP! SHUT UP! SHUT UP! SHUT UP! SHUT UP! SHUT UP! SHUT UP! SHUT UP! SHUT UP! SHUT UP! _

_Stop. Stop talking. Stop commenting. I don't care who or what you are! I don't want your ideas. I don't want your input. I don't want to hear you anymore! So SHUT UP! GET OUT OF MY HEAD ALREADY!_

**[You can't delete the truth.]**

_Yes I can! Just watch me!_

**[Stop lying to yourself.]**

_Stop talking to me._

**[You can't run away from me.]**

_Please?_

**[You can 'forget' me. You can cover your ears. You can cover your eyes. You can cover your words. But this truth will always exist. I will always exist. Never forget that Miku.]**

_Please don't wake me up._

**[I don't need to. You're doing that all on your own.]**

_Please don't do this. Please let me dream for a while longer._

**[You do realize that this dream is ending, right?]**

_I don't care._

**[Waking up will break you.]**

_Then I'll never wake up._

**[You know you'll have to. Don't you see? This dream does have much time left.]**

_Then I'll dream this dream until its very end. We both know that when I wake up, Len won't be there to comfort me. So who would care if I broke and shattered?_

**[You'd lose the game.]**

_Then so be it. Besides, there's no point in winning, is there?_

**[You're right. There isn't.]**

Staring at the teardrop on his fingertip Len asks, "Miku, you need this to be a dream, don't you?"

**[You see? Even Len knows the reality of your truths.]**

"Hey, I have an idea Miku. Let's create a dream together."

_This is Len talking, right?_ My voice thoughtlessly asks, "Together?"

"Yeah, together." His finger hooks around a single strand of my hair. Around and around it twirls on his finger. "You know, I'm tired of remembering things. The whole not sleeping thing isn't working for me. So together, me and you, we'll create a dream. A real dream."

"A real dream?" _Does such a thing even exist? Is that even possible?_

**[….]**

Meeting my dazed gaze, he says, "You see, real dreams are imperfect. Real dreams have happy moments and beautiful moments but they also have moments that are sad, angering and frustrating. But at the end of the day, we'd be smiling. At the end of the day, nothing would be fake. Wouldn't that be a great place to be in?"

_I don't know about this. Truth, what do you think?_

**[Think for yourself.]**

Thinking hard, I ask the first question that comes to mind. "...What if I get hurt?"

From my lap, Len smiles softly at me. "Then I'll stay be your side until it doesn't hurt anymore. Just like this."

_Is this really be a good idea? Can a new dream really be created from all of this? Truth, do you know? _

**[I thought you didn't want my input.]**

_Well, wouldn't you be upset if some random voice started saying mean things in your head?_

**[I wouldn't know.]**

_Please help me...This is all starting to get really confusing...I don't...I don't know what to do..._

**[Miku, I am the truth. But even the truth doesn't hold all of the answers. Think for yourself.]**

"Len, what if you get hurt?"

Watching his smile grow, I can't help but be envious. Why aren't his truths torturing him?

Slowly, his hand comes up to lightly cup my cheek. His voice whispers, "Then you would stay by my side, just like this."

My voice whispers back, "Will this really work?"

_Tell me Truth: what is the truth?_

**[Miku, you already know.]**

From my lap, Len whispers my truth, his truth, our truth. "All until we wake up."

A final question. "What if I never want to wake up?"

"Then so be it. Together, we'll dream in this beautifully imperfect world forever." The smile from the boy on my lap could rival the sun. Can he really make everything better? Will this new dream be better than the last one? Can I bear to live in another imperfect world? What if I taint this one too? Is it possible?

**[Miku….there is ugliness in imperfection. Not everything will be happy and beautiful. You could get hurt. Now nothing will be impossible...]**

_Hey Truth? I think everything will be ok after all..._

**[What makes you say that?]**

Closing my eyes, I lean back ever so slightly, moving away from Len and the hand on my cheek. Forgetting that I'm sitting on the edge of a fountain, my twin tails slip and fall into the water behind me. But I don't care.

_Well, I've been ruined, haven't I? Thanks to Len, this dream, I've become so that I can't live in a world other than this. Waking up will kill me. I'd lose everything I haven't lost. But it's funny - because I just woke up, didn't I? Nothing will ever be perfect. Happiness doesn't last forever. Stuff like that. But it'll be ok. It will all be ok! Because in a moment, I'll fall into a better dream, a new dream, an improved dream. Everything is going to be ok..._

_Because I have you and Len to protect me now, right? You won't ever leave me, will you Truth?_

**[Hmph. I couldn't even if I wanted to.]**

Snapping open my eyes, I look down at Len. Teal on Sapphire. Sapphire on Teal. Running my fingers parallel to his eyes, I softly ask, "Tell me Len. How? How do we dream as one?"

His hands come up to cover mine. Grasping the fingers under his, he says, "It's simple. We'll just close our eyes." Letting go, his hands come up and with the lightest of pressures, they block all the light from my eyes.

**[Sweet dreams Miku.]**

"And when we open them….we'll be in a world created by us."

_Sweet dreams Truth._

"Ready Miku?

1."

_2._

**[3.]**

* * *

**I'm sooooooooo sorry for the days wait everyone! I had a severe writer's block and nothing seemed to work like how I wanted it too. Even now, I'm still a bit uneasy about this chapter...But I think it all turned out alright(?) I sure hope it did. (If you don't think so/had any problems with it, tell me please...)**

**Oh...and what do you guys think about Truth? Did he confuse you? Let me know what you think?**

**But on a brighter note, I would like to take this moment to throw confetti and yell "YAY!" this is officially my first story where it's had 1,000+ views while it's still running! A very happy moment indeed! And so, I would like to thank all of you lovely people for reading, following and favoring my story so far!**

**And I wanna do a special shout out to my wonderful reviewers, Awesomedt, Zhane17, Alice In Madland, AkiraSaphire, Shino No Mikaga No Kudotaka, ImaginaryFlower, arosecas and Guest!**

**While I love just writing in general, reading your guys reviews are what really make my day! **

**Well, thank you for listening to my ramblings. I now bid thee all adieu!**

**Love, Sunset **


	12. That Trap Called Love

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Vocaloid in any way, shape of form.

~0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o~

It's funny. It can be the smallest things that have the power to create the happiest moments. I never really knew that. Or maybe I did...and I merely forgot over the years. Yeah...that's probably it. After all, the happiness I felt with Mama and Papa, the happiness I felt with Gakupo...those moments were all beautifully real, weren't they? How wonderful...it seems that happiness once lost can be found once again. A warm loaf of bread. A strong hand in yours. Eyes full of affection. A comfortable silence. A breeze that silently blows through. It's because of these little moments that happen on a daily basis that I am able to experience perfection, the perfect moment.

**[Open your eyes.]** Wait, no. This moment isn't perfect….It's not perfect at all...

A loaf of bread that wasn't paid for. The rough hand resting in yours. Eyes focused on someone else. A wink sent to the girl managing a carrot stall. This moment isn't perfect at all….is it? Imperfections mark it everywhere, nothing is pure. But then again, this imperfection is what makes the moment real, isn't it?

It's weird but don't think I mind these ever present imperfections. Not anymore. I wonder why…I'm sure that I thought differently yesterday, so why change now? Does this have something to do with the talk I had with Len yesterday? I wonder…was yesterday even real? Or was it a figment of my imagination? I'm not sure. Images flit through my mind but they're blurred around the edges. A familiar but unplaceable voice echoes within me but the words are muddled – I can't make anything out. It's all real and not real. Does that even make sense? Did I forget something I shouldn't have? I wish I knew. Or is it that I don't want to know? Oh! How confusing all of this is!

But no matter. I know more than anyone else that some things simply cannot be controlled. This must be one of them. So fine. What wants to be remembered will be remembered eventually. But I **will** control the things I can – starting with the charismatic and aggravating playboy next to me. I'm tired of such soggy emotions forcing me into submission! The indomitable girl I once was will make an appearance once again! I may be caught in his trap called love, but I'll have him wrapped around my littlest finger. I'll make sure of it. After all, he's not the only one here that can play with hearts….

Glancing around, I note that the female stall owners in the area are all an unnatural shade of red. Hmph. Probably the work of the sensual thief beside me. A promise flits through my mind – something about only touching me in my presence. There was nothing about seductive glances, was there? Well it's time to change that.

Flickering my eyes about, I take in my surroundings. Today, for some reason, the market place isn't as packed as it usually is. No matter. This works to my advantage perfectly. Letting go of Len's hand, I whirl around to cut him off in his tracks. My teal hair lifts and twirls with the motion and by the time they settle back by my side, me and Len are standing chest to chest. Dozens of curious and jealous eyes rest on us. Here in the middle of the path, we are the center of attention. Under normal circumstances, the crowd would be too thick to even manage such a feat. But then again, for some reason, today is different. A perfect imperfection.

Len's eyes hold a confused gaze. With a small frown, his eyebrows lightly scrunch in concentration. He's trying to figure out my intentions. My actions are unclear to him. Wonderful.

A sly smirk settles on my face. I'm sure there's a mischievous twinkle in my eyes. Pressing lightly on my toes, I reach my hands out. With the slightest bit of force, I reach for his head. I refuse to have my reach denied today. Holding his eyes captive with mine, I slowly slide the pads of my fingers up his face. A pinky lingers on the corner of his lips. A thumb grazes an ear; an index finger brushes an eyelash. Grasping onto the golden hair that glows with the sun, I pull him down to me. Teal on sapphire. Sapphire on teal. You will belong only to me.

Foreign eyes penetrate into my skin, forcefully trying to analyze the further of my actions. They don't like what they see. Our lips hover with the closest of proximities. Only the thinnest slivers of air exist between them. Len's lips tremble ever so slightly with the force of his desire. I can tell, he wants to devour me. But my eyes hold him still. I'm the one in control here. Slipping my tongue out, I close our distance. Trailing my tongue over his lips, I hear his breath hitch in fascination and surprise. No more waiting.

Pressing my lips against his, I press closer against his chest. He will feel nothing but me. A strong silence surrounds us. They're holding their breaths, aren't they? Good. Let them watch. Let them know who this beautiful thief belongs to.

My hands crawl through his hair, twisting and twirling through the long strands. Hmmmm….his hair isn't as soft as before. It's a tad bit rougher and the locks don't slip and run past my fingers like they used to. I think I like it better this way….

Wrapped in his heat, I pull him even closer to me, turning my own body into a weapon meant to allure. Using his tactics against him, I suck on his bottom lip. He doesn't expect such an action and his breath hitches once again in surprise. Slipping my tongue in at the first chance, I devour him whole, leaving nothing for anybody else. Do you see Len? I'm not the innocent girl I once was. After all, I've been taught by the best, haven't I?

Together, we trade breaths for a while longer before slowing pulling apart. Heavy gasps fill the air. Still held captive in my grasp, Len's eyes reflect an unsated pleasure. He wants more. The sight of his unfulfilled desire releases a wicked a grin onto my lips. I won't give him more. This shall be his punishment. I'll make it so that only I can give him complete satisfaction.

A captivated audience stares in embarrassment and shock. Classic human nature: they want to look away but they can't. Everyone wants what they can't have. Guess it's time for the finale.

Ever so slowly, I untangle my hands from his hair and I let them drop down onto his shoulders. Grasping on, I hoist myself up, settling my lips by the flesh of his neck. My teeth nip his neck, lightly, softly. A shiver runs through him. His breaths run shallow. And I can't help it; smiling against his neck, I dig my teeth in. Not hard enough to bleed but enough to bruise. A hiss pushes through his lips and the rush of air tickles my neck. But yet, he doesn't push me off. He likes it. A naughty boy indeed.

Tilting my head up, I whisper into his ear. "Len Kagamine….this mark is the proof that you are mine and mine alone. I don't care if you have to seduce the entire world to make a living. What you do when you're not with me is none of my concern. But when you **_are_** with me, you will look at me and me alone. When you're with me, **I** am your **only** concern - no one else. Just like I am bound to you, you are now bound to me. This mark has corrupted the perfection of your skin. I have officially tainted you with this ugliness of mine. That's why….you can only look at me, k?"

With that, I pull back entirely and stand before him. With my hands behind my back, I rock back and forth on my toes, noting the emotions running through his face. With a shocked face, he stares back at me. With eyes full of disbelief, he brings up and hand up and places it against it his neck, directly against my newly given mark. With confused fingers, he explores the deeply set teeth marks. A sense of realization comes over him as he stares at the dampness of the saliva on his hand. A smile full of all different sorts of joy takes over his face. With love, he glances back at me once again.

Laughing lightly, he says, "Well aren't you a selfish one…"

Someone once said that. I wonder who?

Defiantly, I answer, "Do you have a problem with it?"

With an amused smile, he shakes his head no. "No, I don't have a single problem with this at all. You're adorable when you get possessive, did you know?"

A blush spreads and enflames my cheeks with the strength of a raging wildfire. In attempt to hide my embarrassment, I grasp his hand with mine, and move along, essentially dragging him by the hand. "Let's go. I'm getting tired of all these people staring at us."

A chuckle resounds behind me. "Well that's your fault."

A retort shoots out of my mouth. "No it isn't. If **_someone_** wasn't seducing the entire female population in my presence, we wouldn't be having this problem, now would we?"

Using those gorgeously long legs of his, he quickly catches up and settles by my side, easily matching my brisk pace. Winking at me, he says, "Come on. We both know you wouldn't have me any other way…."

A wink meant only for me….so this is how the sensation feels….Yeah. I could definitely get used to this.

The light shines above as we leave the market place, headed to some place only Len knows. That's funny. Just when did he take the lead? No, better yet, just when did I start trusting this alluring thief? Since when did I stop questioning his motivations? Just how much have I changed? But the biggest question of all is, will I be able to revert to normal once I wake up? Or have I really been permanently ruined, both in this dream and in reality?

I don't want to ever find out.

* * *

"Hey Miku?"

Looking up to meet Len's gaze, I answer, "Yes Len?"

With a glowing smile, he asks, "You have one of those cell phones, right?"

My heart rate picks up a bit but I answer calmly, shooting him a curious glance. "I do. Why?" A placid smile struggles to stay on my face. It's an innocent question. Nothing wrong with that….

A lopsided excitedly shines back at me. "If I got myself a cell phone as well….would you give me your phone number? Don't you think it'd be fun to – "

"**No**." Never. Never in a thousand years. Never during this lifetime. Never during this dream. Never ever ever. "Sorry Len. That's just one of the things you will never be able to have…."

His grin dies on his lips and he falls silent.

At the sight of his dejected face, I nervously speak up, hoping to soften the punch I just threw. "Look, it's not that I don't want to talk you…..because I really do like talking to you….it's just that….well….I….."

The grip on my hand tightens to a point that it mildly hurts. There's an unreadable look that I don't recognize on Len's face and there's a weird glaze in his eyes, as if he's not even listening to me. Did I really make him that upset? Is a cell phone number really all that important? The pounding in my heart speeds up, hammering roughly against my ribcage. Its resounding thumps echo against my ears and I can feel my panic spiking up a notch.

After a moment, the death grip on my hand loosens and the glaze in his eyes clears up. He wordlessly looks over, regarding me, eyes unblinking. The panic and worry must be evident on my face because after a couple of seconds, his eyes widen before softening with...something.

Adjusting our course with silent ease, Len pulls us both to the side, towards an ignored corner. Leaning his back against the wall, he reaches his arms out, a soft smile on his face. With a small frown, my eyebrows lightly scrunch in concentration. Just what are his intentions? Unsure of the gesture and what to do with it, I merely stare at the outstretched limbs. What could this boy possibly want? At the confusion written on my face, a snicker escapes Len's lips and he shakes my head silently before reaching out a bit further and tenderly wrapping me with his arms. Ah. so this is what he wanted...a hug? At his touch, the heat of his skin settles into mine, slowing down the speed of my pounding heart. Relaxing into his hold, a relieved sigh flows past my lips. So he's not mad after all….Wow….I'm really pathetic. Minutes ago, I declared I was going to be indomitable or something like that. I even had this boy wrapped around my little finger and quadruple knotted. Now here I am once again, deeply tangled in this trap of his called love, full of soggy emotions that have me filtering my words and actions. Ugh. I never knew falling in love would make me so weak. Will I _ever_ win?

With me in his arms, Len looks up, staring at the clear blue sky above us. I wonder, what does he see up there? Resting his eyes on a passing cloud, he explains, "Sorry about that Miku. You thought I was mad at you or something like that, right?...Well I'm not. It's just….last night. Last night, after I left you to go home, I starting thinking about all sorts of things. And then I remembered our first night together and how miserable you looked picking up your cell phone. It was like your death was waiting on the other side of the call. And as the call continued, the light in your eyes just started to dim and fade and it **_hurt_** to see you like that. So I thought that maybe….as a present…I don't know...maybe I could somehow turn your phone into something more pleasant or something like that….UGH! Ok. What I'm saying isn't making any sense. I just….how do I put this? I just wanted to give you another reason to smile. Does that make sense?"

Staring up at him, I take in his words. Another reason to smile, huh? How sweet. Unfortunately, this method is an impossible one. That cell phone isn't allowed exist in this dream of mine. It can't. If it were Len's voice on the other side, I'd wake up from for sure.

Exhaling a sigh, I admit one of my many unchangeable truths. "Sorry Len. But there are some things even you can't fix…."

Mirroring my sigh, he lays his chin on top of my head. "Huh. So this is another thing I can't fix…Tell me Miku…..Is it possible to save you?" There's an odd tone to his voice. I wonder – what else has Len failed to fix? Is that one of the many secrets he hides?

But what a weird question. 'Is it possible to save you?' It sounds like something one of those knights in shining armor in those foreign romance novels would say. I didn't think they existed in real life. Does this mean that someone actually finds me worth saving? Is it because he doesn't know? Or is it because this is an impossible dream?

Once again, my lips betray another truth. "Sorry Len. I'm too late for me to be saved…."

A rueful laugh floats above my head, sending vibrations through the neck in front of me. "I guess that makes two of us…."

Huh. So you really are imperfect, aren't you Len Kagamine? The golden hair that has grown too long. The locks that aren't as soft as they once were. The built up dirt on the corners of your body. Scratched knuckles. Ragged nails with dirt shoved under. This knight in shining armor is not as perfect as he once was. He may shine in the sun but his armor has dulled, scratches have made their mark. Uncertain words. A flirtatious manner. A sketchy past. My knight is imperfect. And yet, I find that I am ok with this. Then again, who even said that a dream had to be absolutely perfect anyways? This dream is actually a lot more fun when there's someone to be imperfect with you...

Breaking our hold, Len grabs my hand and sets out once again. A smile sits on his face. The smile isn't reaching his eyes. Is this one of those things that are both real and fake at the same time?

"Come on Miku. Let's end this downer of a conversation. Today's a happy day! And anyways, we're almost there."

A happy day? What makes today any different than the rest? But more importantly, "There where?"

With a sly look he responds, "You'll see."

* * *

Minutes later, we are at a small and relatively empty park. The sight is a familiar one. It's been a while since I've been here after all….not since my original exploration of this city. It's a park where Sky trees grow along the entire walkway, stretching regally into the everlasting blue sky. Their blossoms beautifully bloom in the all of the colors of the rainbow.

Cherry red. Pumpkin orange. Lemon yellow. Avocado green. Blueberry blue. Raspberry indigo. Plum purple.

"Hey…um….Miku….?"

"Hmmmm…what is it Len?"

"Would you happen to be hungry?"

My eyes widen in surprise before defensively answering, "W-What makes you say that?"

Looking at me with an amused smile, he answers, "You just got this really hungry look on your face is all…."

Reaching into the clasped bag at his side, he pulls out a small bag of cookies decorated with red hearts. In fact, even the cookies themselves are pink and in the shape of hearts….weird.

Holding the bag out to me, he says, "You want?"

It's when I see the cookies does it occur to me that yes, I really am hungry. I want to eat something. But by the time I make this realization, my head is already nodding yes. Taking me by the hand, Len pulls us under a particularly colorful Sky tree. Settling on the grass under the tree with Len by my side, I devour several bags cookies. As Len watches over with a light smirk on his face, the sun passes and filters through, causing a thousand of different colors shift and change above us. With the breeze, petals float down to the ground, swaying in the wind. I hope these don't end up stuck in my hair too….

Several bags of cookies later, I lean back against the tree in satisfaction. I don't know who Len stole those cookies from but they were **good** cookies. Even better than normal.

"Hey Len…I really liked those cookies. Get me some again for next time?"

Chuckling lightly, he reaches over and brushes the crumbs surrounding my lips, swiping a piece ever so often and slipping it into his mouth.

Shooting him a suspicious look, I ask, "What?"

There's a weird smile on his face. "It's nothing…it's just that….this is the first time you've ever made a request…."

"Huh, I guess it is, huh? Well what can I say? Dating a thief was bound to mess up my remaining morals some time…"

He looks at me with a raised eyebrow. "So you're blaming me?"

I give him a curt nod in return. "Yes. Yes I am."

Ruffling my hair, he says, "Fine. I can bear the weight of that sin for you. Now move forward a bit. I want to give you a present."

Scooting forward so that I'm sitting between his legs, I ask, "Present?"

"Yeah…I'm gonna change up this hairstyle of yours so stay still, alright?"

Lightly glaring at him, I ask, "What, you don't like my hairstyle?"

"No. I never said that. It's just fun to change it up ever so often, don't you think?"

I don't have an answer to that. Instead of answering, I instead watch couple of all ages pass us by. Behind me, Len rolls my hair ties one by one. As I watch the petals kiss the air, Len runs his hands through my hair tugging lightly on the knots he meets on the way causing my skin to tingle at the slight pain. His hands move with confidently within my hair, twisting clumps this way and that.

Suddenly breaking our silence, he quietly asks, "Miku, am I a threat to you?" It's a weird sensation. I can't sense where his voice is coming from. Even though I know he's right behind me, it's like his voice is floating along with the breeze, existing everywhere and nowhere all at once.

A sigh mixes in with the breeze. Another one of my truths slip out. "You are."

His voice struggles to stay neutral. "Are you scared of me?"

"I am."

"H-How can I make it so that you aren't scared of me?"

My voice comes out impossible calm. "That's impossible. I'll always fear you because you have the potential to ruin me to a point that I'll never be the me I once was ever again…..but it'll be ok."

Curiosity marks his voice. "What makes you say that?"

"Because you, along with someone else, will be here, by my side, protecting me until the moment we're forced to wake up. So I'm sure that everything will be just fine…"

"Wait…someone else? What someone else? Who?"

"I don't know. Someone very important. Or maybe it's a something? I'm not sure and I don't remember who that someone or something is that this very moment but I'm sure that that someone or something is very close by…I think that despite it all, that someone or something cares very deeply about me."

A silence falls as Len takes in my words, struggling to understand the meaning hidden in them. Good luck. Even I don't understand the meaning hidden in my words. After a moment, he speaks again.

"Hey Miku? Do me a favor? Close your eyes for a sec?"

Confused, I obediently do as he says. Light bleeds through my closed eyelids and I can't help but be the slightest bit defensive. A chaste kiss presses onto my lips and I impulsively gasp at the unexpected gesture.

"Yeah…none of this closed eye stuff. So here is what's going to happen. I'm gonna open my eyes now whether you want me to or not."

Desperately, he calls out, "Wait!"

A steely voice replies, "You have 5 seconds.

5"

At my countdown, Len desperately fumbles through his bag.

"4"

It seems that he still can't find it - no. He did.

"3"

A weird clack noise resounds in the air.

"2"

His hands reach and grab my left hand, holding it delicately.

"1"

A sensation of cold and metallic invades my finger.

Fluttering my eyes open, I blink at the blinding light. It takes a moment for my sight to refocus and when it does, it settles heavily on my left hand, my third finger from the thumb. Resting there is a braided silver ring, glistening in the sun.

Grinning like a fool, Len exclaims, "Happy Valentines Day Miku!"

Wait..."Valentines Day?"

Still grinning, he says "Yeah….This is my valentines present to you…." A mischievous glint shines in his eyes. "Not only that but this doubles as my proof."

"Proof?"

"Yeah, proof." Holding up his left hand, an identical silver ring shines back at me. "These rings can be the physical proof that I am bound to you and you are bound to me. It's a bit more sensible than leaving hickies, don't you think? Oh, and that reminds me, I never did show you what I did with your hair. It's a waterfall braid, in case you're wondering. I used to do these on my sister but I have to admit, it looks a lot better on you since your hair is much longer."

As he talks, he pulls out a pair of ornate mirrors out of his bag, placing one in my hands and positioning one behind me. In the mirrors, my teal hair reflects back. Unbound by my hair ties, it flows unrestrained in the wind. Along the back of my head, a braid wraps around in a way that I can't comprehend.

From behind me, Len says, "You know, I also wanted to bring you out to a nice restaurant like most couple do on this day but I couldn't afford it with what I had saved up. And unfortunately, dinin' and dashin' isn't in my area of expertise. Sorry about that…."

_Valentines day_….a day where lovers celebrate their love for one another. Is that today?

Wow…So even a wretch like I am capable of celebrating such a holiday….and so the impossible has become possible. Uncontrollable laughter bubbles through me, bursting through my lips and echoing through the silent air. It doesn't matter if this dream is fatally imperfect! It doesn't matter that I'm constantly falling back into this honey lured trap! Nothing can change the fact that this dream is beautifully glorious to be true! And yet, impossible somehow, it is!

Turning around, my eyes meet Len's. Stray tears from my laughter slip down my cheek and smiling like an idiot, I tell him my joyous truth. "No…this is absolutely perfect….Happy Valentines Day Len!"

Laying across his body, I move my lips against his, telling him my undeniable truth.

'I love you Len.'

His eyes widen for a second and soon enough, he's smiling against my lips, saying 'I love you too.'

Yes. Nothing is perfect in this imperfect world of ours. But it's better this way, isn't it? Because at the end of the day, we're both joyfully smiling, aren't we?

* * *

**Yeah...I couldn't resist lol **

**Happy Valentines Day my dears! I love you all! **

** With buckets of hearts, Sunset**


	13. Stupidity and Teardrops

Hello everyone!

wow, this is a bit weird, writing at the top of the page instead of the bottom lol. Well anyways, a thousand apologies my dears! I'm updating much more slowly now, aren't I? Yeah...so because life is rough, I'll put it out there that my new updating norm will probably be every five days or so, K?

Secondly, I just reallywanna express my love to Shino No Mikaga No Kudotaka! Thank you so much for taking the time to read my past stories (even though they aren't all that good lol) and commenting on them. You've made me so happy!

Okie dokie. I'm done now. Now enjoy the chapter~~~

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Vocaloid or any incorporated songs in any way, shape of form.

~0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o~

_"Miku..."_

_Freezing in place, I turn around to look at Sir. Is he seriously going to hold me back **again**? Plastering a smile onto my face, I answer, "Yes Sir?"_

_Staring fiercely into my eyes, he asks, "What's that on your finger?"_

_Wait...what...? "My finger...Sir, I don't think I understand your question..."_

_Narrowing his eyes, he answers with an exasperated voice. "Your finger Miku. Why is there a ring on your finger?"_

_Looking down at my hands, I try to find the accused finger. And he's right. There on my left hand, on my third finger from the thumb, lies a beautiful braided silver ring. Wait...when did I ever get a ring? This isn't mine...or is it? I think it is...but this is...this is something important...isn't it? _

_Looking up quickly, I smile and answer with what I assume is a lie. "Oh...that. I forgot I was even wearing it. It's something of my mother's."_

_Huffing, Sir answers "_

* * *

"-ku. Miku. Miku!"

"Hmmm…..?" Blinking slowly, my sight refocuses on the boy in front of me. Through a haze, a boy with golden hair peers at me. That's weird...what was I thinking about just now? A cool hand slides under my bangs, resting on my forehead.

A concerned voice asks, "You're not sick, are you? Do you want to go home early?"

Shaking my head slowly, I answer, "No. I'm fine. I was just thinking about...this song I heard on the streets earlier….I think it was….German….maybe? Anyways, it was such an alluring song…."

A pair of lips frown at me. Holding me in place with his other hand, he moves forward, ultimately resting his forehead on mine.

My voice comes out, confused. "What are you doing?"

A firm voice replies, "I'm checking your temperature."

Huffing, I answer back, "I don't _need_ my temperature checked. I'm _fine_."

"Yeah…well, I don't believe you…."

Pressing a kiss onto his lips, I murmur, "I said I'm _fine_. Now stop trying to look for things that aren't there…." Pulling back, I stare directly into his eyes, daring him to challenge my words.

Len is no coward. He meets my gaze head on and the seconds slowly tick by. But it's his lost and we know it. There is nothing to back his words and so, because I am not _not_ fine, I must be nothing else than fine.

Pouting, he breaks our gaze and pulls me back along the bustling crowd. Smiling softly to myself, I follow behind. Are guys seriously allowed to be this adorable? Or is this another of the many aspects of Len that should be marked illegal?

Catching up to his stride, I swing our connected hands wildly. Together, they fly in sweeping arches, up and down, up and down. Raising an eyebrow at me, Len just smiles before shaking his head. Taking advantage of the moment and Len's apparent acceptance of my child-like behavior, I open my mouth to sing a song I heard somewhere once.

_"Every time you kissed me _

_I trembled like a child _

_Gathering the roses _

_We sang for the hope _

_Your very voice is in my heartbeat _

_Sweeter than my dream _

_We were there, in everlasting bloom"_

At the sound of my singing voice, Len looks at me in shock. I'm being spontaneous. No - I'm being ridiculous. I'm being stupid. I'm idiotically standing out; I'm giving people a reason to remember my face, my voice, who I am. But for some reason, I can't find it in me to care. I am happy therefore I feel like singing. Ah. So this is what it means to be stupidly in love.

Shaking his head once again, Len smiles. But instead of staying silent like he usually does, he opens his mouth and joins me.

_"Silver dishes for the memories, _

_For the days gone by _

_Singing for the promises _

_Tomorrow may bring _

_I harbour all the old affection _

_Roses of the past _

_Darkness falls, and summer will be gone"_

Oh! Len knows this song too! Wait! Len can sing? The cheater! He never told me he could sing!

But his voice...it's a beautiful sound that mixes wonderfully with my own. Oh, I'm never singing alone again, that's for sure.

People are staring. We're idiotically standing out more than usual. We're stupidly in love and we're unbelievably happy. We are a couple now recognized by the entire market place for more reasons than one. A playboy. His possessive girlfriend. A duo that can beautifully sing.

This moment is so careless it's ridiculous and yet, it's a moment too beautiful to ruin. And so, it continues on.

* * *

Minutes later, long after our song is done, Len asks, "Hey Miku…..your ring?"

Hmmm...for some reason, this conversation sounds oddly familiar. Did someone ask me something like this before? I'm not sure...Smiling innocently, I answer, "What about it?"

Glancing sideways at me, he answers, "It's not on your hand, is it?"

My eyes flicker to my left hand. So it's not. I wonder when I took it off? Looking straight ahead and keeping my voice neutral, I answer, "It's not."

Something flashes in those sapphire eyes that I do not recognize. Is it pain, anger, betrayal? It's another emotion that I am unfamiliar with. Yanking me to the side, he grabs my face with both hands, forcing me to look into his eyes. His eyes blaze fiercely into mine. Staring back at him, I try to think as to what I did with the ring. And then I feel it. Finally realizing the cool sensation that's been on my skin all this time, I stare fiercely right back. Seeing the distress and unknown emotions written on his face, a mischievous feeling bubbles up within me and I just can't help it. Smirking at him, I 'innocently' ask, "Is something the matter Len?"

Reaching one hand out, I slide it along the curve of his face. Dragging my fingernails lightly over his skin, I trace the edge of his lips, the corner of his eyes. Slipping my other hand into the front of my dress, I lift up a single chain. Holding the chain up into the light, I ask, "Hey Len...is _this_ what you were looking for?"

On the chain dances the ring that means everything. On the chain dances the proof of our everlasting connection.

At the sight of the ring, Len visibly sighs in relief and the look in his eyes softens. Tightening his hold on my face, he says, "Miku, you're terrible. You're absolutely terrible."

Dropping the chain, I lay both of my hands on tops of Len's. Leaning into one of his hands, I gaze lovingly into his eyes. "I know. But you still love me anyways, don't you?"

He glances at the teasing smile on my face, the silver ring laying on the front of my dress. Pouting once again, he leans forward. Confused, I watch his movements in an attempt to figure out his actions. But it's already to late. Latching onto my exposed wrist with his mouth, he digs his teeth in. It's a bite that's not hard enough to bleed but enough to bruise. The sudden and unexpected pressure elicits a startled yelp from my lips. Smiling against my wrist, he looks up at me. There's a seductive look in his eyes and the sight sends a shiver down my spine. With a low voice, he smirks at me and says, "Look. We match now…."

Slipping his hand out from under mine, he lifts my wrist and places it against his neck right under where I marked him a day before. For reasons I can't explain, the sight of both hickies side by side sends a deep blush through me. Looking to the left of him, I mumble, "Pervert."

Yanking on my captive wrist, he pulls me forward. Leaning so that his lips rest on my ear, he whispers, "And yet, you love this pervert, don't you? Anyways, you brought this upon yourself. Since you're not going to wear your ring like you should, then then there's nothing else to do but mark you like you did to me. Don't you remember? You belong to **me** and **me** alone."

Blushing a deeper red, I frantically push away. This is my lost and we know it. Refusing to meet his eyes, I tug lightly on his hand, moving us back into the crowd. The score has evened out once again. And so, our game continues.

* * *

Alright...Enough is enough. "Hey….Len?"

"Yes Miku?"

"This might sound weird but I want to head back early today."

Mock offense crosses his face. "What, is my presence boring you or something?"

My senses are on high alert. My carelessness of moments before is now nowhere to be seen. Shaking my head, I answer, "No…It's not that…..This is going to sound weird….but do you feel like….there's been familiar presence watching the crowd…..and maybe us?"

A look of slight shock crosses his face. "You feel it too?"

Looking straight ahead, I nod my head once. "I've been feeling it for the last couple of hours but….."

Without a single change in his expression, he finishes my sentence. "Yeah. Me too. I thought I was being paranoid but…."

Thinking as one, we walk in slow even steps and move to the center of the crowd where it's thickest with people. I pass my remaining money over to Len. Only a fellow thief could keep my money safe here. The presence still lingers.

With a forced calm, I ask, "For you or for me?"

A sardonic smile sits on Len's face. "Why would it be for you?"

I mirror him back. "The same could be said to you."

"That's an answer neither of us are willing to provide, isn't it?"

"Indeed."

In the midst of bustling people, our eyes meet. Teal on sapphire. Sapphire on teal. Both hold their share of secrets. Both hold an idea. With quick synchronized movements, we move out of the middle of the crowd and duck into the opening of a shaded alley.

His back rests on the wall behind him and we are chest to chest, with his arms wrapped tight around me. Our eyes peek out over a corner, searching for those strong and familiar eyes that seem to be following us. Maybe we're wrong. Maybe we are being paranoid. Maybe we're simply being ridiculous. But maybe we're not.

At first, I don't see anyone suspicious. It's simply a crowd of people out shopping. It's stall owners and busy parents and playful children and couples on dates. But then my eyes land on a tall man with serious glasses and light chestnut hair. I can tell that Len has taken note of him too. And for some reason, a vicious shiver runs down my spine. Why? It's not cold out. Oh….Is this….fear?

Staring at him from this distance, it takes me a moment to realize who I am staring at, this man with strong eyes. And then the fog lifts from my mind and I realize that it is _**him**_. Even now, I can still remember Sir's stern voice warning me to never, _ever_ come in contact with the single man that even he feared, Admodia's top detective, Kiyoteru Hiyama. Even in the underworld, Kiyoteru Hiyama is known and feared for his ungodly ability to track and pursue any prey he is told to catch. Even reputed assassins with levels of skill high above mine have been cornered and caught by his unforgiving grasp. The question is, who is he after – me the sinful assassin or Len the beautiful thief and ex-politician's son. Or maybe neither? I don't plan on finding out. I refuse to let him end this dream of ours.

Escape. We must escape NOW, before it's too late for either of us. Quietly, I look up at Len and whisper, "Follow me." With the setting sun, the shadows elongate, allowing me to navigate Len and myself through the familiar twist of alleys and backways comfortably. Away from those piercing eyes. Away from the man that could possibly ruin everything.

Soon enough, we approach a series of backstreets that's far enough from the market place. At the sight of the empty space devoid of all stares, I swing my arms about, letting go of Len's hand and twirling about under the fiery red sky. But it's Len's voice that snaps me out of whatever second level delusion I'm in. Quietly, cautiously, he says, "Miku….I think we should go somewhere else. " It's the apprehension in his voice that makes me worry. I stop spinning and the world around me swirls in crooked circles. By the time my eyes adjust, I realize that I'm staring straight at the one thing I fear more than Kiyoteru Hiyama: a car.

It's so close. All I have to do is reach out a hand and I'll be touching it. A distorted reflection stares back at me and the face staring back at me is twisted with fear. Slowly, I back away. Away. Away from the wretched thing. Bile pushes up my throat. I can't breath. The world crashes left and right. A pounding noise echoes in my ears. A memory buried deep within me forcibly resurfaces. My legs give out before I can reach Len.

A boy with the sun for hair runs to me but everything is in slow motion. His face hovers above mine and his lips open and close. That's funny. No sound is coming out. Beautiful sapphires blink at me with….could it be….concern?

* * *

_"Gakupo! Gakupo! Look! Look!"_

_Looking down at me, Gakupo asks, "What is it little one?"_

_I point a slim finger across the road. I'm practically bouncing at his side. "Look! The eggplants are on sale today!"_

_At the words 'eggplant' and 'sale', a joyful smile blooms on Gakupo's face and his eyes light up with childlike joy. Just like leeks, eggplants are also foreign goods. It isn't very often that they go on sale... Smiling brightly, he answers "How fortunate. Let's go check them out, shall we?"_

_Eagerly, I nod my head yes. But I can't wait. I love Gakupo's face when he eats the food I make him. But I love it even more when he's eating his favorite eggplant. How should I prepare them today? Should I fry them? Bake them? Grill them? Roast them? Put them in a soup? Mix them in a salad? Oh! I just can't wait! "Gakupo, come on! Let's go! Let's go!" and without him, I cross the road without care._

_As I'm crossing the road, I see the vehicle I've only heard about from Gakupo and seen in discarded magazines. It's something only the rich can afford and the rich certainly don't ever travel down roads like these. Most just stay in their perfectly guarded communities, where thieves and 'poorness' can't get to them. But yet, in front of me, for some reason, there is such a vehicle. It is something that glares at the sun. It is something that roars as it moves. It is something that travels faster than any man I've ever seen. At the foreign object, I stop and stare, paralyzed with fear. It speeds towards me. Its details become more defined by the second. Speeding black wheels. Bulbs that protrude from the front. A sheet of clear glass. Curved and smooth pieces of metal. What is this thing again? Oh yes. A car. It makes no intent on stopping._

_It's getting closer and closer. It'll hit me, won't it? I wonder, will it hurt? Maybe it's front is cushioned. Maybe that's why this car isn't slowing down. I wonder, is it soft like feathers? Or maybe it's squishy like marshmallows But before I can find out, I am sent flying. The breeze kisses my cheeks and my twin tails fly up in a swooping arc with me. My arms reach out desperately, trying to grab hold on something, anything. But there's nothing but air. The earth rushes up to meet me and my body roughly crashes and tumbles on its landing. Boxes and wooden stalls collapse at the force of my landing and eggplants explode under my weight. My head is ringing. I can't think straight. Gakupo. Where is Gakupo? I'm scared. Everything hurts. Save me Gakupo!_

_A couple feet from where I've landed, there is a clump of people. The car is nowhere in sight. Did it magically go away? Maybe Gakupo is somewhere within those people. Slowly, with unsteady legs, I stand up. The world sways in crooked circles. Everything hurts but from what I can tell, nothing is broken - I can still move. I must find Gakupo. Wobbling, I make my way over to the crowd. Globs of eggplant slide down my arms, my legs; it's squished into my hair. The world continues to tilt and turn. Nothing is making sense. The world is crying. It's getting louder and louder and the sound hurts my ears. From the depths of the crowd and the fuzz covering my ears, I hear, "Someone get a medic!"_

_Hurt. Someone is hurt. I'm scared. I'm scared! A voice croaks, "Gakupo! Gakupo! Where are you?!" No one answers. Pushed and shoved by people taller than I, I try to find the long and elegant purple hair that belongs to the only person that keeps me safe. Where are you? Why can't I find you? And in a quick flash, I see it, that beautiful and elegant purple. Pushing and shoving with what's left of my strength, I make it to the center of the circle. There, splayed out on the ground, is Gakupo. Why are you laying there? Are you tired? Why are you arms and legs twisted funny? Are you hurt? At the sight, I wobble over, stumbling over my toes. Blood rolls over my knees, leaving ruby trails down my legs._

_"Gakupo! I'm so happy to see you!" But why? Why are you covered in blood? Why aren't you moving? From him, his blood, a deep ruby red, seeps out and ever so slowly, it devours him, consuming him whole. It's a man-eating monster. Eat me too? My legs give out from under me. Once again, I crash gracelessly into the ground. The blood slithers forward. It dyes Gakupo's beautiful purple hair an unnatural red. I don't like it that way. It kisses my knees, greets my legs. Frantically, I crawl forward and grab his shoulders, shaking them hard. Back and forth. Back and forth. My shoulders are burning. My arms hurt. "Gakupo! Gakupo! Get up! Get up! Please! Please get up!" But he doesn't move. He's not moving. Like Mama and Papa, he stays absolutely still. Like Mama and Papa, ruby flowers bloom and burst on his skin, staining his clothes with that deadly color. Slowly, his eyes flutter, revealing beautiful violet that I've always loved. His lips form a final word. "Miku." With my name, the light in his eyes goes out and there is nothing left but a bloody corpse. Dead? DEAD? No. NO! nononononononononono. "Don't die….PLEASE GAKUPO! DON'T DIE! OPEN YOUR EYES! STAY HERE WITH ME! YOU PROMISED! YOU PROMISED! YOU SAID YOU'D STAY WITH ME FOREVER AND EVER!"_

_You promised. You **promised**. Unless...were you lying too?_

_Around me, people whisper. It's raining. But the sun is still out? Words float around me. Nothing is making sense._

_"Car" "Girl" "Dangerous" "Rich" "Teal" "Pushed" "Man" "Purple" "Saved"_

_Oh. OH. My fault. It's all my fault. My fault! IT WAS ALL MY FAULT! _

* * *

"-KU! MIKU! MIKU LOOK AT ME!"

Golden hair that shines in the sun. Dazzling sapphire eyes. Hands that are warm and familiar to the touch. Who?

"Miku! Good! You're alright! God, don't scare me like that!"

I know this beautiful boy, don't I? Is that my heart feels so relieved?

"Miku? Why are you crying? Are you hurt? You're remembering something unpleasant, aren't you? It hurts, doesn't it?"

I am. It does. It hurts. It hurts so much.

"Tell me why."

Who are you?

"I want to know what you're thinking now."

A gentle hand caresses my cheek; a thumb strokes a trail to my lips. I know this touch. Len….You are Len….

"Tell me a secret Miku."

Stop. Stop. STOP!

"Miku…..it's not your fault."

"**WRONG! YOU'RE WRONG! IT'S ALL MY FAULT! IT'S ALL MY FAULT! IF IT WASN'T FOR ME, HE'D STILL BE ALIVE! IF ONLY I'D STAYED BY HIS SIDE! IF ONLY I DIDN'T RUN OFF WITHOUT HIM! IF ONLY I MOVED OUT OF THE WAY! THEN THE CAR….THE CAR WOULDN'T HAVE**...The car wouldn't have…It's my fault. It's all my fault. It's all my fault. I killed him. I killed Gakupo. I…I….."

A gentle yet forceful kiss covers my lips, sealing off my words. Silently, he swallows them whole; those treacherous words are now gone from this world. But that doesn't erase the sin, only the hysterics.

The sky is no longer a fiery red. Black clouds have rolled in. Ah. The sky is crying now too. Its teardrops plop on the grass beside us, mixing in its tears with mine. Slowly, those heavenly tear drops multiply, dotting my skin, Len's skin, our clothes. Leaning my head back, I greet the rain and together we cry. Our pain pours down in heavy sheets, soaking Len and I whole. There's no way we could stop now.

Our tears are cold. My fingers grip onto Len's shoulders. It's this desperate hold that stops me from falling back completely. Tilting my head back down, I can see that our tears have caused Len's hair to stick together in clumps and in turn those clumps have plastered onto his face. His clothes now hug his body in a way that shouldn't be allowed and I wonder if I'm any better off. We could drown in these tears. Yet, neither of us make an effort to move.

Len's forehead brushes past mine. The sky roars in pain and my heart roars along with it. In my right ear, he whispers, "It's not your fault." Raindrops drip and fall from the tip of his nose, splattering onto my shoulder.

I whisper back, "Liar. It is.

Don't pity me.

Don't sugar-coat my truth.

Don't spout such pathetic and useless words.

I. Killed. Him.

That is the one and only truth.

I ran. I stopped.

It was me that was supposed to die.

And he took my place.

Therefore my fault."

My twin tails hang heavy with the weight of the sky's and I's tears. It pools in a heavy puddle at my sides. My knees and legs are now numb.

"Your fault, huh?" It's a quiet voice, one that has been defeated of all fight. "Miku….I'm scared."

An empty voice asks, "Of what?"

Sapphire on teal. "You."

A sardonic laugh escapes my lips, our gaze breaks. "Well that makes two of us."

A head plops onto my shoulder. Our raindrops mix and kiss. "You really will ruin me."

My hand lifts up and lands on that golden head. It goes around and around in slow circles, twisting the locks into odd shapes. There there. A happy voice sings, "Why worry now? I've already ruined you, remember? Your skin has been marked, you have been tainted with my imperfections. Nothing will ever be the same. But don't worry! Everything will be just fine! Don't you remember? In this real dream of ours, we'll have happy and beautiful moments. But we'll also have moments that are sad, angering and frustrating. But at the end of the day, we'll be smiling. If I get hurt, you'll stay by my side just like this! If you get hurt, I'll stay by your side just like this."

His head lifts up and his eyes collide with mine. The sky's tear drops, my tear drops (whose tear drops?) run down his cheeks, past his neck. How pretty. Entranced, an unrestrained finger reaches out and follows a single trail. It slides down easily, gliding across the skin. "We may be forever ruined but we're also forever bound. It's the price of living in this beautifully imperfect world, don't ya think?"

A cynical laugh escapes his lips, bouncing my finger with the movement. A slight shiver runs through him, vibrating the skin under my fingertip. "Good point you've got there…good point..." Silence. Parted lips. Hesitant eyes. "…Miku? I don't want to accept your truth."

My finger slides further down, distracted eyes follow. "Why not Len?"

"Because if I accept your truth, that means I have to accept mine as well."

My finger has a mind of its own. It slides in reverse, allowing my hand to fit perfectly around the curve of his cheek. Raindrops slide down my arm. From my elbow, drops fall, splattering onto my bare leg. The cold sensation runs a chill through my body – but I don't care. I. Don't. Care. "I see. Len. I want you to tell me a secret."

"Miku – "

My right hand comes up to mirror my left. His face is cold in my hands. "Tell me a secret Len. Tell me the truth you've been trying to disguise as a lie. Tell me what no one else knows."

His eyes struggle with the pain. He doesn't want to accept his truth. He wants to keep lying to himself.

My voice drops to a whisper. Any lower and it might be lost in the cries of the sky. "Len. I want to know." Smiling at him, I say, "It's only fair right – a secret for a secret."

His lips open and close before finally producing a sound. "If...If you killed Gakupo...then that means...that means...that I'm the one who...who...k-killed my sister..."

Those words freeze me in place. I should stop here. This is the truth that haunts him at night, isn't it? This is the truth he's desperate not to remember. This is the very reason he's decided to enter this dream with me, isn't it? So it really is possible to ruin him more than I already have.

But I want to know. I've become horribly selfish, haven't I?

A determine voice speaks. "Tell me."

Len shakes his head no but his voice betrays him. Mumbling to the ground, he says, "Not here. Not under this rain."

Sliding my hands away from his cheeks, I ask, "Then where?"

A pause. "My place."

It's my turn to hesitate. We've never been to the other's homes before. There's always been a certain boundary that lied in place. The question is, am I ready to break it? Gazing at my thief, my beautiful glorious thief drenched by the tears my tears and the sky's, my selfishness increases.

"Take me there."

* * *

**Hi again. Wow this chapter took a lot out of me and my feels are just everywhere! **

**Yeah so, in case you're curious, the song lyrics in the middle of the song was Everytime You Kissed Me by Emily Bindiger. I just love the song and I just couldn't resist putting it in. Sorry **

**Oh...and the german song Miku (wink wink actually me lol) mentioned of in the beginning was Bauklötze by Mika Kobayashi. It's from the anime Shingeki no Kyojin (attack on titan). It's such a good anime! (Watch it!) Oh, and Mika Kobayashi is actually the singer of Bios from Guilty Crown (Watch that too!) Hmmmm, this is all really off-topic, isn't it. Sorry again. I don't think I'm thinking straight anymore. I think I'm gonna go now.**

**Love, Sunset**


	14. Spoken and Unspoken Words

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Vocaloid or any incorporated songs in any way, shape of form.

~0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o~

Under the cover of the sky and I's tears, my selfish words ring into the air. Dazed sapphire orbs stare back at me. Those beautiful eyes penetrate into mine and in them, I find regret, guilt, a tinge of numbness and most of all, fear. This truth will change everything, won't it? Nothing will ever be the same.

I wonder, will we be smiling at the end of today?

Biting his lips, Len looks away from my eyes, choosing instead to stare at something far off in the distance. Following the direction of his eyes, I realize that he's seeing a sight only he can see. With his head tilted towards the pouring sky, he closes his eyes and greets the rain. Heavenly tear drops land on his face, running down his cheeks, over his lips, caressing the strained muscles of his neck.

Slowly pushing himself of the ground, he holds a hand out to me. Latching onto his hand, I pull myself up with his strength. My wet twin tails slap heavily into my sides, heavy with water. My clothes tighten uncomfortably against my skin. Water trails down his chin, my chin.

His eyes never meet mine.

With our fingers entwined, Len leads us out of the rain and toward his undeniable truth. Cold puddles splash against my ankles, a chill surrounds me. Glancing at the goose bumps covering the expanse of my skin and the slight chatter of my teeth, Len murmurs, "Don't worry, we're almost there."

Our walk is a silent one. Staring straight ahead, Len moves stiffly by my side, his hand clenching mine way to tight. The streets have been emptied of most pedestrians save for the ones with thick umbrellas. Such people glance at us with odd and pitying looks but they simply move on. There is no kindness to be spared.

Minutes later, we reach an old apartment complex that looks excruciating similar to mine. Even the worn and narrow staircase is extremely similar to the one back at my place, the steps rattling and clanging with every step we take, the down-pouring rain only amplifying the sound a thousand times louder. As used to the rattling sounds as I am, Len confidently walks up five flights, his arm twisted awkwardly around his back in order to keep our hands connected. Settling at his door, he produces a single gray key from his pants pocket, unlocking the door and leading us both inside.

Standing at his entranceway, my eyes greedily take in the sight. A small dingy window. A single bed. A small bedside table. A single closet. A lone table with a pair of chairs. A door that most likely leads to a small bathroom. Hmmm….it seems that the architectures in this city don't believe in variety. How disappointing.

Len's hold on my hand tightens. A fierce frown rests on his lips and he makes no effort to move from the spot we are in. Water lazily rolls down his skin, pooling at his feet. The minutes tick by to the sound of dripping water. Ah, I see. He's trying to deter the inevitable. Waiting silently, I watch the boy next to me desperately try to evade his past, his truths. Too bad it's impossible. Even I know that.

Making an executive decision, I lead us both to the table in the middle of the room. Water down drips endlessly from my hair and a trail of water slithers behind us. Settling Len into an open chair, I gently ease my hand out of his. As my hand slides out of his, Len looks at me with huge and empty eyes. Looking into his eyes, I see myself reflected in them. But even so, he doesn't see me right now, does he? Our hands separate. Clutching my hand, I watch his fall haphazardly to his lap.

_Maybe I shouldn't be so selfish after all? Maybe I should just let this desire of mine go. I'd rather take his dazzling smile any day instead of...instead of...this. But no. Shaking my head fiercely, I remind myself of my resolution, my truths. Wait - what **are** my resolutions and truths? I am an orphan. I am sinful. I kill for a living although I haven't taken any jobs recently. Money mysterious appears on my table every morning. I am currently in a real dream with Len. __I don't know what happens when I'm awake._ I love Len. Len has ruined me. I am forever his. He knows the truth of my first murder. Therefore I must know his. I have ruined him. He is forever mine. I wish to know his everything. But he can't know mine. Ugly. I am an ugly person, tainted and corrupted into the deepest of ebony. But I already knew that. Because that is my undeniable truth. Nothing in my life ever changes. But everything is changing! What **are** my resolutions?! Just what am I trying to accomplish?! Do I even know?! Selfish. I'm horribly selfish. I want him to be tainted too. I want to know what makes him impure. That way...that way! If he's tainted too...really, actually tainted...then maybe...maybe we really can dream together forever...?

_Selfish. I'm so horribly selfish. But I'll close my eyes anyways. I'll close my eyes and pretend that I don't see, don't know, don't realize everything that I really do. Don't worry...I know. I know more than anyone else. I know that you'll always exist, no matter what I do. But for now, I'll hide you up deep inside of me. For now, I'll pretend that you don't exist. I'm sorry. I know I asked you to protect me...but please...just stay silent for a little longer Truth._

* * *

My eyes blink heavily against the light of the room. Wait, what was I just doing? What was I just thinking of...oh yeah!

Towels. I need towels.

Spinning away from Len, I walk towards the second the door, entering the bathroom. If I'm to assume correctly, then….yes. Here they are. Reaching under the sink cabinet, I grab the huge mound of mismatched towels laying in wait. Plopping them on the side of the sink, I deftly unroll my hair ties over the small tub on the right side of the small room. Released from its hold, water splashes from my hair and into the tub. Leaning over the side of the tub, I squeeze out any remaining droplets, immediately feeling a thousand times lighter. Loosely wrapping up my hair in a towel, I make my way back over to Len.

He hasn't moved from where I've left him. His eyes are focused on the wall across from him and once again, I have the feeling that whatever he's seeing, it's something that I cannot see. It's something that isn't me, it's something that's beyond this dream of ours. I don't like that. Mildly annoyed, I dump the pile of towels onto the table.

"Dry yourself." With the order and the towel that's been dropped into his lap, Len does as he's told, his movements stiff and robotic. Using a second towel, I rub his hair dry. Glancing down at Len, I note that he's still in whatever daze he's in. What I'm doing currently means nothing to him. My heart tinges with a odd pain. Hmph. What a useless boy. I don't think I like this Len.

Satisfied with my efforts, I leave the towel on his head. Grabbing a third clean towel off the table, I walk over to his closet. Unabashedly looking through the contents, I pick out a pair of fresh shirts and pants to change into. Relying on the continuation of Len's dazed state, I quickly slip out of my dress and bra and dry myself up. The towel around my hair falls to the floor, slapping heavily against it. The sound echoes in the silent room. Len doesn't move or even glance in my direction. _I hate this._ Slipping on his shirt, I note the rough way it settles against my skin. The sleeves reach past my hands. Rolling up the sleeves, I smell something delicious in the air. Stopping halfway, I take in the scent wafting up his shirt. It's a smell that I could never accurately describe but it's a smell that's wholly and only his. I can't help it. Wonderfully enveloped in his scent, I wrap my sleeved arms tight against my body, encasing his scent closer to me. Oh, I'm definitely taking this back with me. I don't care what he says. It could be his payment for his currently annoying behavior.

Tilting my head down, I look down at my legs peeking out from under the shirt. Yeah...There's really no point in wearing pants, now is there? This shirt does the job just fine. It's a tad short but oh well, it covers enough. Maybe this will make him look at me. Grabbing a set for Len, I walk back to him. The towel has fallen off his head and the one he was using lies carelessly on the floor. His hands now lay in his lap and he still won't look at me.

I don't understand. What more can I do? Don't you realize? There's a limit to how much I can handle! _I don't like being ignored. Not by you...Please look at me? _Surely, **I'm** more important than that truth of yours, right?

Biting on my lip, I try to figure out what to do. Reaching out my hand, I aim for his chin. But as if sensing my invading presence, his shoulders crumple forward. Like a marionette that's had its strings cut, he flops down, slumping into his body, his head hanging low. My hand drops back to my side. Blood rushes to my head and my sigh resounds into the loaded air. I don't recognize this boy. Small and defeated under the strength of his unspoken truths, he has become a boy that I do not recognize. Lifeless and broken, he no longer seems like the boy that easily conquered my entire world. I don't think I like this boy at all.

Glued to my spot in front of him, my eyes rest heavily on the foreign boy in front of me. Who are you? Are you a stranger? Give me back my Len. Please?

It's all clear. It's all so horribly clear. even though I don't like it, even you are part of the boy named Len Kagamine. Playful and flirtatious. Desperate and resilient. Sinful and seductive. Gentle and loving. Broken and defeated. All of these create one Len Kagamine. I love Len Kagamine. But I don't love _you_. How is that even possible? Make it so that I fall in love with you too? Make it so that I don't hate you?

Ah. I see. I think I understand now. It doesn't matter that the one I see in front of me is one that I do not recognize. It doesn't matter if I don't love all of Len Kagamine. What I don't love...I am surely capable of...at least...accepting...right? So in the end, this heart of mine really will beat for this boy and this boy only. I'm too far gone to be saved. That is my truth now.

I wonder, is it still possible for Len to be saved? Wait, that's not even a valid option anymore! It doesn't matter anymore whether or not he can still be saved. I don't want him to be saved! No matter the cost, I want him to be by my side forever….and ever….

After all, it's so simple. Yes. Yes. YES! It's all so simple. Just like I am truly unable to live without him, I will make it so that he too is truly unable to live without me.

After all, this is the honesty of our love. Our love is something akin to poison; this love is surely something that will destroy us both one day.

But I don't care. Len doesn't care. And if he does, I'll make it so that he doesn't care either. We'll suffer, we'll laugh, we'll love and together, we'll live, drinking this deadly poison of ours until the day it destroys us both. And when that happens, we'll both be smiling won't we?

Oh Len. You should have escaped when you had the chance.

Well, it's too late now, isn't it?

Staring lovingly at his downcast head, my hands lift and slowly reach for one of his. Enough is enough. Your time is up. You **will** look at me. I won't stand this treatment for a second longer. Choosing a single hand, my fingertips land lightly and the faint contact makes him flinch. Undeterred, my fingers continue, sliding and slipping around his entire hand, encasing it whole. Lifting his imprisoned hand with both of mine, I bring it over to my cheek, laying his palm on my skin. His fingers curl every so slightly before reluctantly settling against the curves of my cheek. Cocooning his hand between my own and my cheek, I lean into his gentle grasp. Sprinkling kisses against the heel of his palm, I wait for him to look at me. This is not where this dreams ends.

Smiling wickedly at his stubbornness, my kisses turn into small nips, fiercely biting, even with the awkward positioning between his hand and my mouth. At the small bursts of pain, those sapphire gems finally gleam up at me from under the cover of his hair. Oh, how beautiful.

Assaulting his eyes with mine, I hold him in place. I refuse to let you escape. Smiling against the palm of his hand, I tell him the words that must be said. "Len, these hands of yours are surprisingly dirty, aren't they? They contain secrets I cannot see. The blood of the past is well hidden from my eyes and you are not the pure white I once thought you were. And now, because I know this slight tinge of knowledge, you torture yourself.

Here. Let me tell you a secret.

_I like them better this way._

Let's be honest, shall we? When I first met you, I could have sworn that you were as pure as white. Somewhere in the back of my head, I knew that wasn't completely true seeing how well you easily handle the hearts of others. Every movement you make is purely and completely sensual. Your movements are ones that are purposely made to attract and allure. I knew from the start that without a doubt you had captured millions of hearts with just a single glance. But still, somehow, despite that, you just radiated this level of purity that was never mine. Oh, how I envied you.

But that's not the real truth, is it, my dear? Nothing is ever as it seems. These beautiful hands of yours are tainted and stained with hidden sins and blood and that's how they've been all of this time. _You were tainted before I even touched you._

But don't you see? You aren't the only tainted being here. These hands of mine are a thousand times more corrupted than yours could ever wish to be. These hands of mine drip with the intensity of my sins and I have corrupted myself into the darkest of ebony. I** am** a living sin.

So in the end, neither of us is innocent or pure. We are beings that are dirty and sinful. These hands of yours have kissed my skin over and over, haven't they? And so, you've corrupted me in a way that only you could ever do. Your touch has forever ruined me and now…..I can only be yours. And in turn, I have corrupted you in only a way I could ever do. So now, you can only be mine. We are no longer capable of being saved.

Do not misunderstand my words, Len Kagamine. These words are not meant comfort you. Their intention is not to soothe your wounds. These words are merely words that had to be said for reasons even I do not fully understand.

The past cannot be erased. You can 'forget' the truth. You can cover your ears. You can cover your eyes. You can cover your words. You can run away into a dream. But this truth of yours will always exist. It can't be escaped. I won't allow it.

I want to know the pains of your past and the intensity of your sins. Wake up and look at me. Spill your heart to me. Tell me the secret that no one else knows. Corrupt me with your sins. Chain me in this trap you call love. Poison me with this sensation. Make it so that I can never leave your side.

Can you hear me? These are my selfish desires. Oh, won't you indulge me, Len Kagamine?"

Deep sapphire eyes stare back at me. Lifting up his head, a small frown rests on his lips. But his eyes! Those sapphire orbs gaze keenly back at me; strength and resolution shine through those eyes and as much as I love all of the other Lens, this is the Len that I love the most. This is the Len that will devour me whole. This is the Len that only sees me.

Slowly blinking his eyes, Len follows the path of his arm to my cheek. With a strong gaze, his eyes caress my body, taking in the sight before him. He notes my messy teal hair, the way his shirt rests on my body, the fact that my bare legs peek out from the ends.

Pleased with the sight before him, a wicked and seductive smile forms onto his face. His other hand comes out the cup my other cheek. Held between his hands, he simply smiles. He sees me. He loves me. My words have been heard. He is grateful to me. Held between his hands, a small shiver of excitement runs up my spine. From here, Len is something that's beautiful and godly. You are all that I need. Locked in his hold, I smile back. Together, we smile for the promises of pain and the love that will eventually destroy us both. Oh, what a dangerous sensation this is, this thing called love!

His hands slip from my face and land on my shoulders, spinning me around to face a plain and empty wall. Talking to the wall, I ask, "What, you feeling shy or something?"

From behind me, a sensual voice replies, "No. But if those teal eyes of yours were on me, who knows what I might do...and we can't have that, now can we?"

Unconsciously, my shoulders slump with slight disappoint. My bodily reaction doesn't go unnoticed. But nothing is allowed to happen. Because now, in just a few seconds, we will change everything. My selfish wishes and desires will soon be indulged. And for now, that's enough. Fully dressed, Len spins me back around once again. The seductive glint in his eyes has faded. Yes, he too understands the choice we are making. Gently clasping my hand, he leads us both to the single bed in the back of the room.

And as we walk, the mood between us slowly sobers. Whatever excitement that was once present quickly dies with each step we take. Reaching his bed, Len settles his back against the wall, tugging me into his lap. Tapping his head against the wall behind him, Len faces the truth he has been running away from. Sighing, he runs a hand down his face, whispering, "Jeez. I'm sorry Miku. So many different emotions are running through my body right now and I don't know what to do with them all. I don't want to move on from this point in time. But for reasons I don't fully understand, you are being dreadfully selfish. But I want to indulge in this selfishness of yours, no matter the price."

His voice slowly fades. But nevertheless, his words resound strongly in my ears. "Maybe that way...you'll never be able to leave my side..."

His sigh brushes against my cheek. Speaking up once again, he says, "Alright Miku. It goes like this…."

* * *

**Wahhh! I'm so sorry everyone! In my defense, I had every intention on releasing Len's secret/past this chapter but...it just wasn't happening. My writer's block is like the size of the freaking great wall of china and honestly speaking a transitory chapter needed to exist. There is no other way... but I feel bad for not releasing something too...But don't get me wrong now. I would never dare to publish something half-assed, that much I can assure. This was supposed to be part of the revelation chapter but then it became just transitory chapter and its just ugh. **

**So bear with me my dears. Sorry once again...**

**Off to climb the great wall of writer's block, **

**Sunset**


	15. Broken Promises and Shattered Worlds

Hi everyone! Yeah...so...I'm gonna have to put an M rating on this specific chapter. To be honest, I kinda don't want to but I think I kinda have to. I'm rating it M for just-in-case but I'm gonna be honest here. I'm a terrible person and I am guilty of creating tragic/somewhat mentally uncomfortable backstories. If you've guys read any of my past stories (not saying that you have to lol) you'll get what I mean. so this time, the back story is a tad...disturbing maybe? Well, I don't really wanna say disturbing but it's definitely not a pleasant/warm-felt chapter either.

Yeah...this little A/N isn't really all that welcoming, is it? lol Ah, but it is what it is. after all, I could't create such a a build-up and then have it to be nothing, that'd be disappointing don't you think? Well, here you go my dears. Read and know the past of our lovely Len. Reviews are always appreciated. If this a/n has turned you off from reading this chapter somehow, please remember that this warning is a one-time chapter thing. PM me if ya have issues.

Oh, and 'the story'/Len's past is not in Len's POV but in a Sunset's/narrator's POV.

Alright, well see you guys next chapter I guess...

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Vocaloid in any way, shape of form.

~0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o~

Settling against the wall, Len sighs heavily. Looking up to the ceiling, his hands rest heavily in my lap. Taking a deep, he begins to speak.

At first, the words out of his mouth are nervous and jumbled. Stumbling over his words, he says, "I think….it'd be better to start from the beginning….Do we really need to start from the beginning? No, not really. But I want to. I really want to. I want you to understand. For reasons I don't really feel like explaining, I just really need you to understand…..You understanding doesn't make me any less guilty but I'm feeling this weird desperate need to explain myself all of a sudden...So let's start this story from the very beginning…."

Clenching his hands together and taking a final deep breath, his story begins.

* * *

_Long ago, deep within the guarded central blok, lived a pair of young golden haired twins, a boy and a girl. Raised in a secluded mansion surrounded by sprawling fields, the young pair lived like royalty. Surrounded by a gentle mother and a loving staff, the young pair ruled the world, their world._

_Born together, the twins never separated from the other's side. Whatever he did, she did. Whatever she liked, he liked. In their world, the word 'his' or 'hers' didn't exist. Sharing a similar face, there was only 'them'. It did not matter that they were two different bodies. They both knew that they were each other's other half and together, they made one person. And so, it was only natural for them to assume that they were going to be together, forever. In that peaceful world where pain and misery didn't exist, they were happy._

_If there was one stain in their happy world, it was their father. Their father was a very busy and very powerful man. Such a man was never home much and the twins liked it that way. In fact, they liked him better when he was away. Because to the twins, whenever their father returned home, pieces of their world would come crashing down._

_Whenever their father was home, the young pair was forced to realize that he was more important than them. Their father's power was absolute over the staff. Their mother ignored the two when in his presence. In their happy little world, their father was the single man that ruined everything._

_One summer day, on some sort of whim, such a man decided that he wanted to bring his wife along on one of his business trips. At the news, the young pair plead at her heels, begging her not to go. Tugging on her skirts, the twins cried at the prospect of being left behind. Reluctant to share their mother with a man they didn't even like, their sapphire eyes flooded with ever flowing tears. With a kiss on their cheeks and a pat on the head, their mother promised that she'd be back soon. Clinging to the dress of their favorite maid, they watched the front doors slam close, their mother gone._

_She never did come back._

* * *

Len's hands have wandered their way into my hair. Fingers spread wide, they rake through my hair, over and over. His voice trembles ever so slightly. But I don't interrupt him. I will listen until he has nothing left to say.

* * *

_Somewhere, in the depths of some far off city, the car containing their parents crashed. The reason, unknown. The perpetrator, unknown. There were no survivors. It was a usual death for people holding such power. Realistically speaking, it was bound to happen eventually. But locked in their happy little world, the young twins did not know such a fact._

_And so her promise broke. Cold and unmoving under the debris of the crushed car, she never returned to the twins awaiting her return._

_And so shattered their happy little world._

_Dressed in stiff black outfits, they mourned for the mother stolen by their father. Refusing to shed another tear, the two sat in silence, their hands clasped tight. Refusing to speak to no one other than the staff and each other, they watched unfamiliar 'relatives' come and go. Fake tears stained the polished floors. Insincere words poisoned their ears. The truth whispered in hushed words rang through the hallways. The family name, the money, the power – that was what they all wanted. Watching silently, the young pair could do not a thing to stop the unending stream of undesired people. Dressed in stiff black outfits, their voices held no value. Regarded as useless and unnecessary baggage, they were no longer important. Their happy little world had been stained by death. Nothing would ever be the same._

_Some time later, it was decided that their uncle from their father's side would take care of the young orphans until they were old enough to inherit the family name. This uncle was no more familiar than the rest. But his eyes twinkled with gentle kindness. His touch was warm and caring. His words full of love and happy promises. Entranced by the beautiful man that held little resemblance to their father, the lonely twins accepted his presence._

_The day their uncle arrived was a warm fall day. Awaiting his arrival, the young pair waited by the front windows for hours on end. Watching the clouds change shape, they imagined a future full of picnics in the fields and games of hide and seek. Watching the leaves blow by, they imagined a future full of loving kisses and gentle hugs. Waiting on the couch by the window, they imagined a world where everything would be wonderful once again. Nothing would ever be the same. But with eyes full of hope, they welcomed the beautiful future._

_Soon enough, a black car drove up to the front of the house. Darker than the deepest of ebonies and endless as the ink of night, it shined in the sun. It was a beautiful sight that reeked of money and power._

_Watching silently from the window with their hands clasped tight, they watched their uncle step from the car, looking as wonderful as they remembered him. With wide eyes, they watched a beautiful woman step out from the other side of the car. With cascading blonde curls and an air of elegance, they immediately fell in love with her, that Aunt that would soon be theirs. But the most beautiful sight was of the blonde boy that stepped out last. With wheat blonde hair and mesmerizing icy blue eyes, the twins sat still, captivated. The boy looked to be about three years old than them. It was clear. He would be the perfect older brother._

_Unable to contain their excitement any longer, the twins dashed outside, running towards the beautiful future that would soon be theirs. However, they didn't even reach the bottom of the stairs before the two felt the force of a deadly gaze. Regarded with eyes full of disinterest and disdain, their blood ran cold. With cold and unloving eyes, neither their new uncle nor aunt smiled or said hello. Skidding to a sudden stop, the truth of their reality came crashing down on them. The people before them didn't love them either. The family before them wanted what everyone else wanted. The family name. Money. Power. That was all that mattered. They were just the unnecessary baggage that was in the way._

_From the distance, the other boy smirked. Dinner was really quiet that day. No one ever came to say goodnight. The old staff was fired the next day._

_Unable to rule the world, the world ruled them. Their loving and wonderful world was no more. Shattered by broken promises and lying eyes, their beautiful future shriveled and died._

_Within a month, the boy, Leon, showed his true colors. Made up of cruelty and false pretenses, he bullied his new "younger siblings" for all they were worth. Under the guise of playing, he broke their toys. Under the guise of love, he ripped their favorite outfits. Under the guise of innocence, he ruined their favorite pictures. Charmed by his smile and mesmerizing blue eyes, the maids always took his side._

_Realizing that they lived in a cage without a single ally, they twins kept to themselves. With tightly clasped hands, they reassured themselves that everything would be fine. He had her and she had him. They didn't need anyone else. Deciding to only love each other, they came to the conclusion that everything would be all right. Trapping themselves in a world only meant for two, they silently cried for all they had lost._

* * *

Len's legs had stretched out somewhere in-between his story. Overreaching the edge of his bed, his legs swing, bouncing off the wooden border of the bed. The resounding thuds echo in the otherwise silent room. His hands rest within the depths of my hair, unmoving. He speaks in a dazed manner. Maybe he's forgotten that I'm here. But it's ok. I will continue to stay by his side, like I promised to do some time ago.

* * *

_Years passed. Their uncle took over the family name. Their aunt spent all of her time shopping. And Leon…well Leon found new toys to play with. Devouring all of the maids with his seductive gaze, he kept himself well busy. The moans of a maid in pleasure were never far off and soon enough, the sounds became part of everyday life. Unable to escape their cage, they ignored the sounds perpetual debauchery and the twins enforced the walls of their world. No one else but them would be allowed inside._

_Then….something changed. At first, it was hard to say what changed but something most certainly did. Overly confident on his childhood expectations, he did not notice the changes that were silently taking place. Underestimating the depths of their love, he did not notice the invader that had snuck its way in. Their walls were crumbling. Nothing was safe._

_With delusional hope, he prayed for his sister from afar, keeping back the questions that haunted his soul. __Noting an increase in her disappearances, he worried for the sister that he was slowly losing._

_Somewhere, in the depths of his mind, he realized that something was invading his world, their world. But with covered eyes, he made no effort to seek out the truth. Protected and barred by the prospect of "feminine problems", he reluctantly and eagerly kept his distance. _

_Never once did the selfish and foolish boy ever try to truly understand. Wallowing with a scared and closed mind, he wandered into an occupied guest room._

* * *

Len's words have stopped flowing. A heavy silence fills the air. Looking up, I see the pain, sadness and regret in his eyes. Biting his lip, his voice drops to nearly a whisper. His legs have stopped moving. His hands clench my hair tightly.

* * *

_Sprawled on the bed, tangled within one another, his twin and Leon gasped and moaned. Shocked and appalled, he stood by the doorway and watched in silent horror at the scene before him. Disgust flooded his veins. He was disgusted at himself for watching. He was disgusted at Leon for laying hands on his twin. He was disgusted at her, for letting him. The seconds on the clock slowly ticked by. Surrounded in a world where screams of pleasure met the air, the twin eyes met._

_Eyes locked on each other, everything went still. Pain and humiliation flashed in her eyes, his eyes. The secret was out and nothing would ever be the same. With their eyes locked on each other, tears slowly flooded out._

_At first, he didn't understand. Why? Why would she go to **his** embrace out of all people? Why did she let him touch her in such a way? Why didn't she tell him?_

_But he wasn't so innocent either._

_Recently, it seemed like Leon's scent was always nearby, no matter where they went._

_As of late, strange marks covered the corners of her bodies. The marks were no different than the marks the devoured maids donned._

_More and more often, she appeared to be flushed and disheveled. Her legs wobbled as she walked._

_The act of her desperately sneaking to his room at night even after their aunt forcibly separated their rooms; even though the punishment for doing so was particularly harsh._

_How many times did those eyes flash in pain, secretly begging him to save her?_

_And just how many times did he ignore her cry for help under the guise of ignorance?_

_The answer had been right in front of him the entire time. He knew what was happening. Somewhere, deep in the recesses of his mind, he knew. But like the coward he was, he didn't face his truth, his reality._

_And now that he was faced with the consequences of his feigned ignorance, he stood paralyzed, unsure of what to do._

_With tears silently flowing out of his eyes, he watched his other half scream in unwanted pleasure._

_With silent tears flowing out of her eyes, she silently begged him to go. Mouthing her pleads across Leon's shoulders, she urged her other half to leave her behind, to act as if he never saw what happened._

_He didn't understand what was going on. Why was it all happening? How had things become that way?_

_Puzzled at his bed mate's reaction, Leon turned around to match her gaze. At the object of her sight, he let out a wicked smirk. Taunting the crying boy before him, he says, "Now what do we have here? Do you want to join in on the fun too? Your sister screams quite beautiful in bed, did you know that?"_

_At the younger boy's reaction, Leon's eyes flash with unabashed cruelty. Repositioning himself and the girl beneath him, he sits in a way that exposes the girl the most to her brother. Grasping tightly on her wrists, he rams into her. Eyes blazing with shame and humiliation, she screams out._

_Frozen to his spot by the doorway, the boy doesn't move. He wants to close his eyes but a force stronger than himself won't let him. Forced by some unknown sadistic power, he watches the display before him, tears blurring his eyesight. But even in the midst of his tears, everything is still clear._

* * *

_Tears silently stream from Len's eyes. Steady drops plop onto the top of my head. With his body trembling against mine, I reach for his hands tangled within my hair. Holding his hands tightly in mine, I continue to listen to the trembling voice behind me. What have I done?_

* * *

_Pausing for a moment, Leon croons in a hideously proud voice, "You see, doesn't she scream beautifully? Bet you didn't know that about this beautiful twin of yours."_

_Biting on her lips in a futile attempt to hold back her sighs, his twin hangs her head down, too ashamed to meet her brother's eyes. Noticing the action, Leon grasps both of her wrists in one hand and uses the other to yank up her head by her hair. Forced to meet her brother's eyes, Leon goes on the say, "You know, this little twin relationship you two have going on here is real cute. Little Rinny here was the only girl in this entire fuckin' place that constantly kept refusing me. But it's funny. Because the moment I mentioned your name and your possible untimely demise, she suddenly became as eager as all of the other horny bitches in this place. She must **love you sooooo much**, don't you think? Oh, what a sweet little twin here you have Lenny. **You should be proud.** So now, won't you do us a favor and **leave**. Under normal circumstances, I would invite you to stay and watch but unfortunately, you're ruining the moment. But don't worry – I'll give her back to you soon enough. Don't I always?"_

_At those words, the weak and cowardly __boy ran out of the room, leaving behind his sister and his new object of hate. At his departure, a__ wicked cackle filled the room and the creaking of the bed soon resumed in motion. _Retching in a nearby hallway, he sobs for the sister betrayed. Gasping for breath, his eyes burned with the sight of his exposed sister, his soul tainted with the weight of his sins. Failing to save the one person that meant everything, he cursed himself for his cowardice.

_Her love for him had corrupted her body. His feigned ignorance ruined it further. Nothing would ever be the same._

_But it was still not too late. Dirtied by his sins and bile, the boy clenches his fists with newfound resolution. He could still save her._

_Sneaking through the halls in the dead of night, the boy makes his way over to his sister's room. Reaffirming that Leon is busy elsewhere, he sneaks in with a bag full of clothes and money stolen from the safe in the study._

_Silently shutting the door behind him, he heads towards his sister's bed. But instead of sleeping silently like he expected, she sits up in bed, staring silently out the grand window to the left of her. Not wanting to scare her, he approaches her bed silently. And as he does, from the depths of her sheets, she lifts a small revolver to her head._

_With her intentions clear, he runs to her, abandoning his stealth and desperately calling out her name. "Rin, DON'T!"_

_Whipping her head around in shock, their eyes meet in the darkness of the room. Sapphire crashes into sapphire and the pain held inside explodes upon contact. Reaching her bed, he dives for the revolver in her hand. At his reach, she desperately retracts her hand away from his grasp. With a broken voice, she exclaims, "DON'T TOUCH ME!"_

_Tears springing out of her eyes, she continues on with a quiet and desperate voice. "Please. P-Please. Don't t-touch me. D-Dirty. I'm dirty. I-I've slept with h-him more times that I could count. Dirty. I'm dirty. I don't d-deserve to b-be by your side anymore. I-I'm dirty. I don't want to dirty you too… Please don't touch me…"_

_Ignoring her words, he grasps onto her shoulders; she flinches at his touch. Crawling onto the bed, he holds onto his sobbing twin, her pain stabbing his heart. His guilt, eating him alive. Shivering in his hold, tears pour down her cheeks. "Stop. Stop. Stop! Don't touch me. Dirty. I'm dirty. I'll dirty you too. Len. Len! Len, PLEASE!"_

_Holding her tighter, he rubs her hand, reassuringly, lovingly. Holding his other half tight to him, he attempts to soothe the crying girl in his arms. "Rin….I'm so sorry. I'm so so sorry. I never wished for this to happen. I'm sorry for failing you. But everything will be alright, You – You'll see. We'll leave this place. We'll go someplace new. We'll move to a new city. We'll live together and we'll be happy and there'll be no one to hurt us. We'll leave this painful world and find some new happy place to be. All – All I need is you. I don't need or want anything else. All I want is you. I failed to save you before. But it's still not too late. I can still save you now. You'll see. Everything will be alright…"_

_Struggling against his hold and fiercely shaking her head no, she screams, "NO! YOU'RE WRONG! YOU'RE WRONG! IT'S TOO LATE! IT'S TOO LATE! I can feel it Len. It-It's too late to save someone as wretched as I. Every time he holds me, I enjoy more than the last time. It-It's too late to save me. I've been corrupted past redemption. IT'S TOO LATE LEN!"_

_Resisting against her struggles, he whispers fiercely into her ear, "Then let me help you. We're one person, aren't we? Let me share your corruption. None of this is your fault. You don't have to struggle by yourself. Share your pain with me. It's ok if you corrupt me too."_

_With resolution shining in her eyes, she firmly responds "NO. Everything I have done is to ensure your safety and purity. I refuse to be the one to dirty you with tainted sins. Don't you see Len? You are my everything. And if it means dying for you….then so be it."_

_Shaking herself out of his grasp, she lunges for the forgotten revolver. Grappling on the bed, they fight for the one thing that would end everything. As the minutes passed, their shouts increased, echoing across the room, into the hallway._

_Battling for possession of the gun, he fights for his sister's life._

_Battling for possession of the gun, she fights for her brother's life._

_In taking the gun away from her, his other half will live._

_In taking the gun away from him, her other half will live._

_Broken and desperate, they fight for a single reason._

_Desperate to save the other from their sins, they grasp tightly onto the gun._

_In the midst of their screams and struggles, the door slams open. With twin hands both resting on the gun, it is hard to tell who is at fault. With both twins crying in frustration and desperation, the situation is unclear._

_Twin fingers lay on the trigger. Smiling sweetly at her brother, her twin, her other half, she clasps her hand in his tightly for a final time. In doing so, a single solitary shot rings. Hitting his twin in the chest, a ruby flower blooms. Dying on the bed, she whispers her final words to the boy she loved most in the world. "I love you."_

_Watching the light fade from her eyes, her sapphire orbs darken. His twin is no longer in the world. Alone in his world full of pain and broken promises, he cries for the sister he failed to save. Nothing would ever be the same._

_Screams echo in the background. Her blood stains his fingers. There is nothing left for him here. Screw the family name, the power, the money. All of it is pointless without her._

_Springing off the bloody bed, he grabs his discarded bag and pushed past the crowd of people gathered by the doorway of the bedroom. Dashing down the hallway, he passes a pair of icy blue eyes, smirking in contempt._

_So full of hurt, pain and uncontrolled anger, he skids in his tracks, as he did many years ago in that boy's presence. Gazing fiercely at those treacherous icy blue eyes, unwanted memories flash through his mind. _

_His body over Rin's._

_His hands on Rin's body._

_The cruel glint in his eyes._

_The echoing of his laughter._

_The creaking of the bed._

_Rin's screams of pleasure._

_Rin's eyes flooded with tears._

_Rin's head bowed down in shame and humiliation._

_Struggling to stand against the force of the unwanted memories, he stumbles against the wall. Captured by the cruel gaze before him, he bumps into a small flower vase behind him. Blood pounds through his head. Am erratic noise rings through. That is the one the ruined everything. Wrapping his hands around the rim of the flower vase behind him, he flings it at the smirking face before him. Watching it crash on his face, water and blood explode into the air. The pain in his chest refuses to subside, he's still unsatisfied. But time is ticking. With strength __regained__ he takes off once again, leaving howls of anger and pain in his wake._

_Rushing out of the front doors, he leaves his house behind as his mother did many years ago. Except this time, there's no one waiting for him to come home._

* * *

I will not regret this decision of mine. I now know the pains of his past and the intensity of his sins. Awake and trembling, he has spilled his heart to me. Sobbing quietly to himself, he has told me the secret that no one else knows. I am now corrupted with the knowledge of his sins. I have been chained in this trap called love. Poisoned with the sensation, I will never be able to leave his side, even if he wanted me to. Our truth has been made clear. We are both too far gone to be saved. Connected and shackled by the weight of our sins, we will be together, forever, living in this dream like world.

One day, this promise will turn into a lie.

But until that day, it shall be the undeniable truth.


	16. Happiness and Guilt

Yeah...I changed the cover photo. I don't know - the other one was annoying me. I like this one much better! :)

Well anyways, on with the show!

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Vocaloid in any way, shape of form.

~0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o~

I will not regret this decision of mine. Poisoned by the truths of his past, tears drip slowly down my face. Locked up in a tight embrace, my beautiful thief and I silently cry together.

A brother and sister with a love bigger than themselves. A brother and sister trapped in a world meant for two. A brother and sister marred by a corruption foreign to them. A sister dead. A brother alone. What was beautiful exists no longer. The steady anger that pulses within. The need to act. The need to hurt. It twitches through my fingers to an unsteady beat. Yearning for the familiar weight and the cold metal in my hands, there is an impulse to end a life that I have been not told to end.

But there's something else that overpowers it all. Overwhelming the hidden murderous feelings that lie within me, a different emotion takes hold. Flowing continuously throughout my body in steady streams, it slowly becomes all that I feel.

This is….This is….I see. My, I really am an ugly person, aren't I? A terrible and hideous person. But then again, I shouldn't even be surprised. As if my simple facts could ever change.

I would be what they call a living sin. This soul of mine has been corrupted into the deepest of blacks. Drenched with the blood of the hundreds that I have murdered, my hands silently drip with the intensity of my horrid sins.

And with these facts, I know my truths.

I taint everything I touch.

With one touch, two, three, a thousand, I could take something beautiful and taint it past the point of redemption. With a single touch, I deform all that's pure. That is the reality and truth of a sinner like I. Shrouded in the darkness, I taint the world into something uglier than it was before.

This world is not something that's completely beautiful and pure. I know that. Just like this world can be beautiful, it has the capabilities of being cruel, merciless and unforgiving. I know that more than anybody else. But despite it all, for reasons that I don't completely understand, I still love this beautiful yet ugly world.

And so, I decided long ago. From the moment I held a gun in my hand, I made my choice. I would become the sinner that I was meant to be. But in return, I would protect this world's remaining beauty at the cost of myself.

I decided to leave my apartment only when necessary.

To live like an automated machine.

To wear drab clothes and thick black frames in order to make myself unapproachable.

Touch no one.

Deny all friends.

Interact with others only when necessary.

Cage up thy soul.

Lock up thy heart and love no one.

Kill only who you're told to kill.

That is what it means to protect the beauty of the world. That is the life of a sinner, the life I am meant to live. For a person like I who corrupts the world, there is no such thing as a 'beautiful life'. For a person like I who taints everything they touch, there is no such thing as 'happiness'.

And yet….somehow….I've found just that. Here in this dream where every moment is real….I have found just that. Somehow, without ever really meaning too, I've found a way to break all of the rules.

This tainted boy that desperately hugs me so. This tainted boy that cries tears of sadness, pain and regret. Surrounded by his warmth, I sigh in relief. His soul has been marred by a corruption that isn't mine. Already tainted by a being other than myself, he has somehow wandered into this life of mine. Trapping me with the sensation called love, I have fallen into the realm of delusions. Under the guise of dreams, I have evaded my truths over and over. Abandoning my love for the beautiful world, I have tasted the forbidden fruit. And like the wretched creature I am, I don't regret a single moment.

A life free of all restraints!

A joy that consumes the body!

The emotion called happiness!

The beautiful moments called life!

The freedom to cry!

The heat of a kiss!

Promises to believe in!

A person to trust!

An outing called a date!

An unlocked heart!

A soul with wings!

This poison called love!

Breaking all of the rules, I've come to experience all I never could. Together with a tainted boy by my side, the beauty of the world no longer seems as important as it once was. Together with my tainted boy, I do not have to endure the fear and guilt of the inevitable corruption that I bring. After all, the difference between his corruption and my corruption – who can tell the difference! His corruption, my corruption, in the end, it is all the same!

I am tainted.

He is tainted.

It's such a cruel and wicked truth. It's nothing to be happy over. To feel such unabashed happiness over the cruelty of his past is something that shouldn't be allowed. I really am past redemption.

But so is he.

So. Is. He.

Our truth has been made clear. Connected and shackled by the weight of our sins, we will be together, forever, living in this dream like world. Oh, what a beautiful thought that is!

Slumping against Len's chest, waves of happiness crash and recede within my chest. I am drowning in this sensation called happiness. Opening my mouth to gulp in every bit, my body drifts to the bottom of these endless possibilities. I think that something within me is dying. But I don't know what it is and I honestly don't care. Ah. I think I get it now. I think it's finally becoming clear. So this must be why people choose to love others despite the eventual pain it brings.

Gentle fingers sweep under my eyes. With a lingering touch, a low voice says,

"Miku….you're crying…..I'm sorry….I made you cry…."

My hands come up to touch my cheeks. Resting the pads of my fingertips on my skin, silent teardrops plop, everflowing and neverending. Ah. So it seems that I haven't stopped. How odd. Have I stopped working?

Throwing my concerns aside, I look up, my eyes meeting his. Dry but red rimmed eyes look back down at me. Locked onto each other, our eyes exchange words that I don't understand. Ah – such beautiful jewels those sapphires are. Mine. At last. They're finally mine. Reaching up with confident hands, my fingers flutter over the edges of his eyes. Brushing his eyelashes, I release a small smile that must undoubtedly shine like the sun. Happy…..happy? Yes! I feel happy! It's finally all here in my hands to love and hold. Yes…why love the unforgiving world when I could be loved instead?

Twisting around in his lap, I reposition myself so that we are facing each other. Wrapping my legs around his waist, I hold on tightly to the wondrous thief that has given me nearly everything.

Beaming at him, my beautiful boy looks at me in slight confusion. Oh – it seems that he doesn't yet understand all he has given me! His eyes merely look at me. They don't say a word. But even if they did, would I even understand? Smiling like an idiot, I take in his sorrow filled eyes, the trails of dry tears staining his face. Such a beautiful and broken sight.

...

There's something pressing on me. What is this? Breathe. It's getting hard to breath. This is...this is...guilt?

Oh….OH! How terrible! How despicable! I….I really am a monster….aren't I...Because who else….other than a monster…..would rejoice….at the death of her lover's…..twin...sister?

Ah, I really am ugly person, aren't I? A terrible and hideous person. A sinful creature. A wretched creature. I….I….I don't deserve to be loved! A being such as I doesn't deserve to experience such beauty, even in such delusions called dreams! But like the ugly person I am….I don't wish to let go.

Those sapphire eyes grate on mine. This guilt threatens to strangle me. Looking away, I decrease the space between us. My head rests in the crook of his neck. When did it get there? My mouth opens without ever receiving permission. Senseless words tumble past my lips. Lacking control over myself, I let my words run free.

"Hey Len, did you know? I'm a terrible and wicked person. I am happy. I'm so happy that it burns! Did you know that? Aren't I such a terrible and wicked person? Out of all the emotions I should be feeling, I feel _happy_ out of all wretched things. I now know the secret that no one else knows. I now know the truth of your corruption. And now that I know these pains that haunt your heart, I am happy. Happy. Happy. Happy.

I want to kill. For the first time ever in all of my life, never have I ever felt such an intense need to end a life I haven't been told to end! Nestled deep in my heart, such a murderous intent blooms. But that's understandable right? After all, sinful people don't have a right to belong in this world! In this beautiful yet cruel world, such wretched creatures are allowed but not welcome! So isn't it natural to feel such a intense need?

But this wretched happiness I feel? It's not natural at all! And yet, somehow, that is all I feel! Taking over with beautiful colors, it consumes me whole! But in a situation like this, it's something ugly. Sinful. To feel happy at another's death? It's unforgivable! But yet, it is all I feel. It seems that not even happiness is safe from these hands of mine!"

Whipping my head up, my eyes collide into his. A desperate need to explain myself burns through me. I'm such a hideous person. I know that. I don't deserve to be loved. I know that. And yet, like the selfish person I am, I want you to do just that! Gripping onto Len's hands with a passion more hideous than myself, I maddenly continue on.

"I'm scared Len. I'm scared. I'm scared of myself. I'm scared for you. I'm scared for the world I have betrayed. Just how much did I taint the world with these ugly hands of mine. I don't even know! I haven't worried about it in so long! Taking advantage of your kindness, I have abandoned the world I promised to protect. Willingly falling into that trap called love, I've touched and loved you without a single care, a single thought for all the consequences it may have bought! And now, with your truth, I am finally able to justify these sins of mine. Now, all of a sudden, I can claim that my deeds have been pardoned. Now, I can claim that I don't have to worry about corrupting you because…because….you're already corrupted….

I'm sorry. Len, I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. Everything is beyond my control. It's too late! I won't be able to let go. I can't let go. I won't let go!

Len….I love you so much that it hurts! I love you even though I know I shouldn't! I love you even though it isn't meant to be! I am a living sin! This isn't the life I'm meant to live! But….I….I can't live without you either. I'd die. I don't want to die.

Len…what do I do? I don't want to hurt you. I want you to be happy too! But I can't let you go! I can't let you go! Tell me, what should I do?

I'm a terrible person. A selfish person. A wicked person. A monster. A living sin.

Len! I'm so scared of myself! I'm so scared for you. Because don't you see? Now….I really, truly am bound to you. And now…you are really truly bound to me.

There is no going back. You can't be saved. Bound by the truth and the intensity of our sins, we are now connected. Chained together by this poisonous love of ours, nothing will ever be the same!

Oh Len…you should have run away when you had the chance…."

* * *

_With her eyes blazing into mine, Miku cries uncontrollably. Her teal eyes are tinged with insanity and huge tears flow out, neverending. With a death grip on my hands, the only thing I can do is meet her fierce gaze right back._

_Crushed by her guilt, my precious girl slowly crumbles into pieces right before my eyes._

_You're hiding something from me, aren't you Miku? There is a truth that you haven't yet revealed. And the burden of this truth is slowly killing you from the inside out, isn't it?_

_But you're scared to tell me. Afraid to face whatever reality you're running from, you bundle it up inside, letting its presence slowly kill you. Oh, what a hypocrite you are._

_So you claim you're a terrible and selfish person. You claim to be wicked. A monster. A living sin. And maybe you are. But don't you see Miku? Didn't you already say it yourself? It's already too late. I wouldn't be able to walk away even if I wanted to. I love you too much to let go of you now. It's a pathetic thought but I'd honestly rather die than to live without your presence by my side._

_Alone for the first time in all of my life, you were the first person to ever try to help me. Living in a city where woman fall at my feet, it's easy to play love games. After all, I had an expert living in my house. But I could never bear the thought of touching any of them. It was hard enough to get over kissing but to go a step farther is something that I've always thought I'd never get over._

_But with you, it all becomes so easy. To keep you by my side. To kiss your lips. To feel your heat. To hear you moan under my touch. It's not fair. You make it way too easy to want more._

_Once upon a time, that secret was my everything. Haunted by the decisions that I've made and the twin I failed to save, I thought I'd be forever chained to my past. But that's not the case anymore, now is it? Relieved from the burden of my secret, everything feels lighter. I am in pain but not like I was once before. It's not fair. You make it too easy to move on._

_You know what Miku? You really are a terrible person. You say that I should have run away when I had the chance._

_But that's where the cruelty in this entire situation lies. Miku, you never gave me a chance. From the moment your eyes collided mine, I was entranced. The moment I grabbed onto your hand was the moment I gave up my life for you. There never was a chance to run away. I couldn't have stopped this all from happening even if I wanted to._

_You're right. It really is too late. Because now, I love you way to much to ever let go._

* * *

Tears stream in a neverending flow down my cheeks. I couldn't stop them even if I tried. My eyes blur with over capacitation. Drowning in my tears, it becomes hard to talk. Sobbing shamelessly, everything breaks free.

I do not deserve to be loved.

But it's all I desire.

Strong hands pull me forward. Greeted with gentle lips, I am devoured whole. Large hands cover my cheeks, pulling me impossibly close. Tightening my legs around his waist, I gratefully welcome the stream of heat over taking my sensations. Our tongues tangle and twirl. His hands travel from my face, settling into the depths of my hair, the small of my back. His touch is everywhere. More. I want more. Hooking my arms around his shoulders, I take in the captivating smell that could only be his. Breath. I can't breathe. Breathe. I don't want to breathe. Envelop me whole. Never let me go. Stay with me for all of eternity. Please?

Our lips separate. Len draws farther away from my touch. No. No! Please. Don't go. Don't GO! Please. Please?

Nothing is clear. I can't see straight! What is going on? Oh, please don't leave!

A husky voice settles into my right ear. The sound is all I need. Vibrating through my skin, I grasp on to the sound with all of my might. "Hey Miku, let's make something clear, shall we? You and me – we're going to be together, forever. Do you hear me? For-ev-er. At your wish, I have told you the secret that no one else knows. To please your selfish whims, I have spilled my heart to you. It's like you say – bound together by the truth and the intensity of our respective sins, we are now irreversibly connected. There is no going back. Everything is now beyond my control. It's too late. I love you too much. I'm never letting go."

_Wait - do you promise?_

"Do you want to hear a secret? I've loved you from the moment we met. I couldn't have run away even if I wanted to. I was gone from the very start.

Listen to me and listen well. It doesn't matter if you're cruel or wicked or a monster or a living sin. It doesn't matter if you taint the world with a single touch. I still want you. I told you from the very beginning. In fact, if I recall correctly, I believe I even begged you – taint me with that poisonous touch of yours. Make it so that I can never leave your side. And so you have. So now you need to take responsibility for all you have done to me. Do you know what that means? You must now forever stay by my side, just like this.

It's ok if you're too scared to face your truths. I don't mind that you're deluding yourself from your reality. As long as you take me along, whether it's in this dream world of ours or reality, I don't care where we are. Just as long as you stay by my side, just like this.

You say that you don't deserve to be loved. But I'm stupid. So I'll love you anyways. Let's be selfish. Abandon the life you were supposed to live. Let someone else protect the beauty of the earth. I'm forcibly ending that so called duty of yours whether you want to or not. I love you. I love you so much that it hurts. And so, I'll gladly wear this chain we call love. I'll drink the poison. I'll do anything. As long as I get to stay by your side."

Reaching into the front of my shirt, he brings out a ring on a single chain. Clasping the ring in his hand, its twin winks at me.

"Let's make a vow, shall we? On these rings, I Kagamine Len promise to be by your side, just like this, for all of eternity. Whether it's in this life or the next, I will love you just like this."

At the sound of his full name, a sense of peace settles within me. Yes, everything is clear once again. Nothing will ever be the same. But it will be ok. Everything will be ok. I know it will. There's no need to worry. There's no need to fret. Because now, no matter what happens, everything will the ok, won't it? One day, I might get hurt. One day, this dream will end. But it doesn't matter. Because at the end of the day, I'll be smiling, won't I? So what if I'm not meant to live this life? I'm already a sinful creature, aren't I? So let's keep adding to the list, shall we?

My hands come up to clasp his. Quiet but strong words ring into the air. "And I, Hatsune Miku promise on these rings to be by your side, just like this, for all of eternity. Whether it's in this life or the next, I will love you just like this."

This promise shall be our undeniable truth. I don't care what it takes. I will make it so that this is the one promise that never becomes a lie.

Wow. So this is what it means to live.

Oh, what a lovely sensation it is.

* * *

**Hello again my dears.**

**First off, a thank you to arosecas4, idontcare, and awesome dt for reviewing!**

**Secondly, in case anyone was confused, for this chapter, I inserted a fragment of Len's thoughts. It's the italicized block in the middle separated by the line breakers.**

**Third, this is to answer idontcare's question: When Len and Rin's parents went on that trip, they both died in a car crash. I actually edited that chapter a bit to clear up any confusion for any future readers so you can check out that improved snippet if you'd like.**

**Ok. Last note. I'm gonna be honest here. I'm excited! The next arc starts next chapter! I have to say, the emotions for this part arc was a bit more drawn out than I originally intended it to be. So if that bothered anyone - sorry.**

**But away with the past! It is time to move forwards the future!**

**Until next chapter!**

**-Sunset**


	17. Dreams and Memories

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Vocaloid in any way, shape of form.

~0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o~

_….What is going on here? Where I am? Dazed and unoriented, I look around, desperately trying to grasp my surroundings. This apartment looks strikingly familiar to mine. But this apartment is not mine. That much is clear. The paint is peeling off in the wrong places. There are scratches where there shouldn't be scratches. The table is in the wrong place. The bathroom door is open when it should be closed. Crumpled and wet clothes lay in scattered heaps. Just what is it that I'm not remembering?_

_Looking down at myself, I note a foreign off-white shirt covering my skin. Holding the oversized sleeves to my eyes, I wonder about the owner of the shirt and how I acquired such a thing. Why am I in a stranger's house? Why am I wearing a stranger's clothes? Just what am I hiding from myself? Something from deep within tells me I don't want to know the answer._

_The bed rustles beside me. The sudden noise stills my body and puts my senses on high alert. There is a presence beside me – just how did I not notice this before?! Slowly turning my head, my eyes land of the form of the sleeping boy beside me. Golden hair illuminated by the glow of the moonlight. A face filled with dream-filled peace. A lean and muscular body. A lone hand clenched tightly against the material of the shirt I wear. The sight is familiar and foreign all at the same time. A gentle and warm feeling flows through my veins. A sense of relief overtakes my senses._

_Do I even know this boy? I am not sure. A thick wall stands in-between myself and the knowledge that I know that I contain. I will not break it just yet. Trusting the instincts within me, I leave the wall alone. It shall continue to stay in my way of the truth that I do not know. But I think….it will be ok. This boy is not a threat to me. I do not know how I know that….but I know it is the truth. My truth. And that is all that matters._

_A sudden desire takes hold. Staring at the mysterious boy next to me, my hand reaches out without my realization. Reaching for the depths of his golden locks, my fingertips yearn to feel a sensation that I cannot recall. But something from deep inside bars me once again. Freezing in place centimeters from the hair I strangely desire to touch, I stare at the deviant hand. Nothing is making sense._

_But one thing is utterly clear. Part of me knows this boy. Part of me loves this boy. Whoever this boy is, he is extremely important to me. I don't know how. I don't know why. But questions like those don't matter. All I know is that I desire to keep this boy by my side for all of eternity. Even if it means that this self that I am is locked out._

_Reluctantly, my hand retracts back to my side. Sliding carefully from the bed, my feet meet the cold wooden floor. With gentle tugs, I attempt to detach the lone hand from the shirt I wear. But the hand is stubborn – it refuses to let go. Gently, carefully, my hand comes up. With light touches, it works to separate the hand that refuses to let go. With every touch, zings of desire shoot into my skin. With trembling hands, it takes all of my willpower to not tightly grasp the hand I desperately yearn to hold. But I can't. I just can't._

_At last, separated and free, my eyes linger on the form of the sleeping boy whose presence invades my very being._

_A heavy silence fills the air. Unable to take in the beautiful sight any longer, I tear my eyes away to the crumpled dress that I identify as my own. Switching the oversized shirt for my bra and dress, I slip on the cold fabric. At the loss of the shirt, my skin begs to have it returned. But the prospect is ridiculous, as if I could go outside in such an outfit._

_Refusing to look at the boy, I make my way over to my abandoned shoes. Slipping them on and preparing to go out the door, my eyes drift longingly to the shirt I wore moments ago. Biting my lip, the most unreasonable idea pops into my head. But I do it anyways. Dashing over with silent steps, I grab the discarded shirt from where I've dropped it. Clutching it to my chest, I laugh at my foolishness. An action like this is absolutely pathetic. But I'm doing it anyways. Because even this self wishes to be happy, even if for the silliest of reasons._

* * *

Slipping out the door and shutting it carefully behind her, a girl with unrestrained teal hair hides in the shadows of the night, a small smile adorning her face.

Unbeknownst to her, sapphire eyes silently watch her departure. Full of love and a sense of sadness, they wish the best for the girl who so clearly avoids her reality. And with such a wish, those eyes wonder what more they could possibly do to make it better. That night, the answer was not found.

Pacing in his office, a man waits silently for her return. Glancing at the clock, he grows angry and impatient.

* * *

The bright sun shines glaringly in a clear blue sky. With a rumbling stomach and eyes squinted against the sun, I force my legs rush at a brisk pace. Reaching the shaded haven of the marketplace, I don't bother slowing down. Instead, I choose to increase my pace, haphazardly pushing past the already thick current of people.

Jeez, I'm so hungry. It feels like my stomach is going to eat me from the inside out. I blame this on Len. He didn't feed me yesterday – the jerk. What kind of person doesn't offer their guest dinner! Ok, so maybe he was in a half dazed state. Ok, so maybe I fell asleep before he could actually offer me dinner. But no matter! The boy failed to give me food and that's all that matters!

My eyes imploringly search into the distance, searching for the one stall with the answer to my current problem. Finally, in the distance, my eyes catch the sight of the single stall that I so desperately need at this very moment. Diligently merging into the sides of the crowd, I practically break out into a run. anything to reach the stall faster. Skidding to a stop in front of Kaito's food stall, a rush of words escape my lips. "OneFMealPlease!"

Turning around to meet my desperate words, royal blue eyes meet mine. Finally used to Len's presence, his gaze no longer seems angry and hostile towards me as it did once before. Smiling gently at my desperate state, he jokingly answers, "Well doesn't someone sound hungry today…" But at the sight of my face, his eyes widen in silent shock before hardening with restrained anger. But enveloped in the wonderful aroma of food, I don't notice his reaction. There is only one thing on my mind and it's food. Yummy food. Tasty food. Savory food. Food Food Food Food Food Food Food Food Food Food Food Food Food Food Food Food Food Food Food Food Food Food Food Food Food Food Food Food Food Food Food Food Food Food Food Food Food Food Food Food Food Food Food Food Food Food Food Food Food Food Food Food Food

Once again, as he's done before, he takes my feeble amount of money but gives me a higher grade meal instead. Under most circumstances, I would have fought against this act of altruistic kindness. But today, I do not have the patience for such formalities. Instead, I choose to inhale the food placed on the counter in front of me, not even bothering to move to a proper table. Kaito's eyes regard me silently, full of concern. His gaze is heaviest on my left cheek but I pay it no matter. There's food in front of me and I'm so hungry and GOD it tastes so good -

* * *

Sighing contently against the edge of the counter, I smile gratefully at Kaito. Satisfied and filled with yummy food, I glance back at him, saying "Thank you so much Kaito. You really saved me there. And your food tasted wonderful – as per usual."

Throwing a wink at me, he responds, "It's my pleasure." But he quickly falls silent. Worried about his silence, I turn around to face him. His eyes quietly stare at me and unsure about what to do, I merely stare back in response. Reaching over the counter, a single hand cups my left cheek. At his light touch, a small burst of pain explodes through my cheek and I wince at reflex. Even through the padding of the thick bandage I smacked on this morning, my cheek throbs painfully. With eyes full of deep concern, Kaito quietly asks, "Miku….what happened to your cheek? …Did Len do this?"

Shocked at his accusation, I freeze in place before desperately waving my hands in front of his face. "N-No! You've got it all wrong Kaito! Len didn't do this! He would never! I-I was just extra clumsy this morning is all! I…I accidentally slammed the bathroom door in my face this morning. Stupid, right?"

Kaito just looks back at me skeptically. "Miku….are you telling the truth? Look, if he's hurting you…."

Smiling tentatively at him, I tell him the truth. "It's ok Kaito. Really. Len would never hit me…."

And as I speak, drifts of last night's dreams – or were they memories? – waft up.

* * *

_"Sir…I'm here…."_

_Sir's back is to me. A loaded and deadly silence fills the air. At the cold atmosphere and the still damp clothes covering my body, my skin pricks up in goosebumps._

_Minutes pass before brusque voice clips at me, "Miku. Come here."_

_Biting my lips, I reluctantly follow his orders. There was no doubt about it. He's absolutely pissed at me. Stopping at the foot of his desk, I wait in silent but worried anticipation. Despite all of our years together, the times that I have made him anger has kept to an absolute minimum. I am no fool, I value my life. But sometimes, moments like these simply cannot be avoided. Or maybe they could….but those are possibilities I prefer not to think about._

_Lost in my thoughts, I do not sense the fist that comes flying at me at an unnatural speed. Making harsh contact with the skin of my left cheek, I am sent flying across the room. Crashing roughly against the wall adjacent to where I was, I nurse my wounded cheek, struggling to keep my tears of pain deep inside. Black and blue dots float across my eyesight and my back burns with a dull and insistent pain._

_Huge and heavy feet stomp towards where I lay curled against the wall. I know better than to fight back. That would only make my situation a thousand times worse than it already is. Curling within myself, I try to protect myself from any impending attacks. Waiting nervously for an incoming shower of attacks, I am surprised when I'm pulled up by the tops of my hair instead. At the unexpected action, a mewl of pain shamelessly escapes my lips. With bunches of my hair cruelly clenched within his fists, I am forced to look into those steely gray eyes of his that frighten me so. Holding in my whimpers of pain, I force myself to keep his gaze. My neck strains with the force._

_His voice comes out low and deadly. " Why didn't you pick up your goddamn phone when I called?"_

_I had expected this question. Waiting inside my apartment was Big Al. With emotionless eyes, he motioned me to follow him. His presence only means one thing in my life - impending punishment. And the fact that he personally came to pick me up from my apartment only means that I failed to answer Sir's call. That was never a good combination._

_I found it in the depths of one of my dress pockets.__ The black mobile device that I was always expected to answer as quickly as possible. Waterlogged for reasons I do not know, it has been rendered useless. But judging by the wetness of my clothes, I would have to say the cause had to do something with rain….please let me be right…._

_It's hard to keep my evident pain out of my voice. Struggling to breathe normally, I croak out, "W-Wet. I-It got wet."_

_The answer is not sufficient enough. It shows in his eyes. "So?"_

_"I-It's not w-working a-anymore…"_

_"How?"_

_"I-I got c-caught under the d-downpour."_

_It seems like my answer is the right one because at my words, he lets go of my hair. Slumping against the wall, I pant heavily, the air flooding in ragged intervals through my lungs. An open hand appears in my line of sight._

_"Give it to me."_

_Leaning to the side, I reach into my dress pocket and take out the dripping cellphone. Placing the black device lightly in his waiting hand, my fingers tremble slightly at the movement. Walking away from me, he inspects the black device, opening it and turning it one way or another._

_His voice speaks from above my head. "Where did you go?"_

_A voice with faux strength replies, "What do you mean?"_

_His boots freeze in place. The voice is now a snarl. "Don't you dare fuckin' play stupid with me Miku. Where did you go?"_

_I know what he means. He knows that I know. An inaudible sigh pushes through my lip. If only I knew. But that is the wrong answer. I know that. Because deep inside, some part of me does know the answer to this question. Too bad the self that I am is kept out of the loop._

_Ah! That's it! Then all I have to do is tell the truth – the truth that this self perceives to be true._

_"I don't know sir. A young man found me in the rain and offered for me to take shelter within his house until the rain passed over. However, he was very pleasant company and I may have passed out from exhaustion in his abode. That is why I was so late in coming back to mine…"_

_A sneer full of contempt comes out of his lips. "Oh – what's this? So you've taken to whoring yourself to other men? Can't say I'm surprised. Why didn't you tell me earlier? I could easily introduce to some potential clients. I'm sure they'd pay much better than the shitty scrap you picked up."_

_At his words, burning anger floods through my veins. Is it the insult to my integrity that caused this murderous anger? Or is it the insult to the boy that for some unknown reason means everything to me? The answer is painfully clear. But that doesn't matter._

_Heated words are spit back into the air, eyes blazing fiercely. With a voice edged with knives, I reply, "I can assure you that won't be necessary. I have no need for such clients and even if I did, I'm sure those clients of yours would only be in the lowest of quality and value."_

_At my comment, Sir's eyes narrow dangerously. But I won't regret my words. I refuse to let myself or that boy be insulted in such a way._

_Whipping his hand, the useless device slams into my left shoulder. A pained hiss escapes my shoulder as the device shatters against the impact. A pained tear slips down my cheek. A ruby red stain blooms and grows on the sleeve of my dress. Trickling down my arm, the drops stain the wooden floor beneath me. My sight runs silver, the pained voice trapped inside fights to be let free. A rough hand grabs me under my chin. Held in place, a sinisterly voice growls, "**Never let this happen again**."_

_With my release, a familiarly heavy object lands into my lap. Glancing down it, I see what I expected. A brand new mobile phone. It just never ends, does it? It just never ends. And it's that sight more than anything else that breaks the wall within my eyes. Silent tears well before slipping and falling down my cheeks. This act does not go unnoticed. And with a final sadistic smirk, I am dismissed._

* * *

"Miku – you're hiding something from me, aren't you?" With Kaito's, I snap back to attention. My shoulder throbs painfully and my cheek is not much better. I will not think about how it happened. That all never happened.

Meeting Kaito in the eyes, I smile as sincerely as I can manage with my injured cheek. Flicking him in the forehead, I laugh and say, "Kaito – it's nothing, **really**. You're honestly looking way too deeply into this. I'm **FINE**...I'm fine, alright?"

Unconvinced eyes stare back at me. His hand falls back to his side. I have won this argument and we both know it. From the distance, I spot a familiar golden head bob my way. Nodding my head in his general direction, I tell Kaito, "And look, here comes Len now. I'll see you tomorrow, yes?"

Slowly nodding his head yes, he answers, "But of course."

* * *

With worried eyes, Kaito watches the girl he loves run up to the guy he hates more than any one else. Miku is hiding something from him. He doesn't know what but he is practically one hundred percent sure it has to do with that Len kid. It's bad enough that the kid stole the one girl he'd been chasing after for years. It's bad enough that the annoying little brat is changing _his_ mystery girl into someone he didn't know.

But the fact that the little shit got violent with her? Now that's completely **unacceptable**. It doesn't matter that Miku loves him or whatnot. That kid is just no good for her. She deserves someone better. Someone with an actual future. Someone who could give her a good life. Not some kid with sticky fingers.

That kid is going to have to go. And luckily, he knew just how to do that.

* * *

Pushing my way through the crowd once again, I race towards the golden head that shines like the sun. There is an odd sense of desperation running through my veins. It's weird, I just saw him yesterday. But for some unexplainable reason, there is an intense need to hold his hand, to run my hands through his hair. I want. I want so bad. Finally meeting up, I call out, "Good morning Len!"

He approaches me with a calm air. A gentle smile sits on his face, his eyes serene. In a cheerful voice, he responds, "'Morning Miku!" However, at the sight of the large white bandage covering the majority of my left cheek, the rest of his words die on his lips and his eyes widen with shock and concern, similar to how Kaito's did.

His hand reaches for my chin. For the briefest of seconds, my eyesight goes hazy around the corners. In midair, a thick and cruel hand replaces Len's. Unsure about which is sight is the real one, my body flinches at the incoming hand. Will this hand hurt me too?

* * *

Miku's reaction doesn't go unnoticed. Hand poised in midair, Len regards the girl with dazed and frightened eyes. He wants to help her, his precious girl, but he doesn't know how…

With his insecurities, his fingers curl inwards before defiantly reaching out and making contact of the traumatized girl before him. Sliding his hand up her right cheek, she flinches at his touch. His leaves his hand where it is, even though she trembles against his touch. Seconds turn into minutes and he stands there calmly, patiently, silently allowing her to re-accustom herself to his presence, his touch and feel. Those dazed and confused eyes slowly refocus. Unconsciously leaning into the hand that provides safety and warmth, her body relaxes. With clear and focused teal eyes focused on him, his left hand comes up and flutters lightly over the heavy bandage. biting his lip, he notes how Miku cringes in silent pain.

With a careful and gentle voice, he asks, "Miku…what happened to your cheek?"

Magically brightening up, Miku responds, "Oh – Kaito asked me the same thing actually. I accidentally slammed my bathroom door in my face this morning. Stupid of me, right? It really hurt but don't worry. The bandaging makes it look worse than it actually is. It's really not all that bad!"

The girl in his hands wears a smile that could rival the sun. But her eyes are ones that are drowning in silent pain. He isn't fooled. He knows she's lying. Glancing at her shoulder, he sees the white of a bandage peeking out from underneath the sleeve. Focusing his eyes on the sight, he catches the dots of red that mark the white material. Something happened between the time she left his apartment and now. Whatever secret she is hiding from him, he knows that the injuries that mark her skin have everything to do with it. But he doesn't know what. And so, he doesn't say a thing.

His actions make him wilt with hidden grief. The sensation of avoiding the problems clearly in front of him awakens a familiar guilt. But this time, he will succeed. This time, he will not betray the precious girl in his hands. This time, he will save what's dear to him. But he knows he cannot do so haphazardly. To act in such a way could possibly push her to her limit. And so, he'll move with careful steps. And surely, soon enough, he'll release her from the secret that haunts he so. There is no other option.

* * *

A hand slides up against my right cheek. Warm and caring, it's a familiar presence that I know and love. Yes. This hand would never hurt me. I'm sure of that much. In these hands, I will always be safe. Relaxed with his touch, I answer his question, giving him a similar, if not more developed answer than what I gave Kaito.

Ah. He knows I'm lying. I can see it in his eyes.

Staying silent, he wishes to save me. It's an obvious wish that's written all over his face. Oh, silly Len. Don't you know that I can't ever be saved? It's a feat that can never be done! But you don't understand that, do you? Finally released from your burden, you're able to see the beauty in the world once again. With a lightened heart, you've found the ability to hope once more. And because I love you, I'll stay silent. I won't take it from you. I won't clear up this misconception that you hold. I won't tell you the truth. Not now. Not ever. Surely, there's nothing wrong with that, right?

A sudden burst of laughter escapes my lips. Bubbling through my veins, my body shakes with the tremendous force. Tears slip out of the corner of my eyes, my legs tremble in place. Hanging onto Len's arm for support, people stare as they pass by.

I'm lying again, aren't I? I'm deluding the truth! Therefore what I'm doing is once again **WRONG**. I should tell him the truth. The truth is what I owe him after all. But I don't want to. I wonder – just who am I actually lying for, him or myself?

_Oh Truth, you must be so aggravated with me. Trapped within the deepest depths of my soul, you beg to be released. Wishing to set me on the true path once again, you struggle against the bonds that hold you in place. I'm sorry Truth. But I don't know what I want anymore. And so, until I figure it out, stay deep inside for some time longer, 'kay?_

My laughter dies down. That boisterous feeling is finally dead. Len's eyes stare down at me in concern and in those sapphire eyes, I can see my reflection shine. Yes. Those beautiful sapphire gems are finally mine and mine alone. Digging my hands into the golden hair that I love so, I press my lips onto his. Smiling with an unnatural amount of joy, I say, "Hey Len. Guess what?"

Shaking his head slowly, a small smile eventually appears on his face. "What?"

Spreading my arms out wide, I lean back, exclaiming, "**_I love you more than the beautiful world!_**"

For a moment, there's unreadable look on his face. Blinking at me blankly, he is silent. But soon enough, a huge smile breaks out on his face. Stroking my cheek, the silver ring on his finger runs a cold trail on my skin. Chuckling lightly, he responds, "Me too Miku. Me too…."

Letting his hand fall to his side, he takes a step back before clasping my hand in his. Smiling like a pair of idiots, the lovers step back into the bustling crowd. Looking so wonderfully in love, they radiate with happiness. To everyone else passing by, it became hard not feel jealous.

* * *

Hidden in a secluded corner, the happy pair attracts the attention of a tall man with chestnut hair and fierce eyes. Allowing the rare smile to cross his face, he abandons his job for the smallest of moments. Envying the happiness that the two youngsters hold, he can't help but be happy for them. Storing their happy faces in his mind, he quickly goes back to work. Searching for the prey he was told to find, his eyes scan the crowd. He has better things to do than a silly job like this.

* * *

**Hello again everyone!**

**Yeah, so this chapter is a bit different than usual. In order to move the story along, I had to switch between Miku's first person point of view and snippets of other characters narrating a scene. I hope it wasn't (too) confusing or anything like that. If it was, tell me to see if I can do any adjustments, kay?**

**To idontcare: darling, the secret Miku is keeping from Len is the fact that she's an assassin. He doesn't know that, remember? ;) And an 'arc' just means the next phase of the story. (The suspense - what shall happen next?~~~)**

**A special thanks for: arosecas4, idontcare, awesome dt, zhane17 and Shino No Mikaga No Kudotaka for reviewing! Your compliments flatter me so! (And I'm sorry for either making you guys cry and/or sending you into an angry rage ^^ - oh and Zhane, I too enjoyed throwing that vase at Leon's face :P)**

**To pokemonredshipper: thanks for recently following + favoriting! ^^**

**And of course, a giant thank you to ALL of my silent readers and followers! I love you guys soooo much! **

**Until the next update, **

**Sunset**


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